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Old 04-13-2009, 01:03 PM
 
438 posts, read 673,837 times
Reputation: 257
Well, issues of customer service are an entirely different kettle of fish. While I can't agree that the customer is always right -- I've seen too many attempted scams, among other things, to convince me of that -- I do agree that customer service folks are obligated to be polite and reasonably friendly.

As for the grocery store "hello" thing, it's definitely a cultural difference, and one I've specifically heard before. New Englanders just don't do that. My friends from the Northeast who moved out to the Pacific Northwest expressed astonishment at the way "everyone says 'hi' to you out there at the grocery store", and I've heard similar things from family who've moved to the South. (Yes, they specifically mentioned the grocery store!)

It just isn't the way things are done in New England, by and large: you don't interact with strangers in that way, unless there's a context for it ("Excuse me, ma'am, do you know which kind of potatoes is good for baking?"). I'm a relatively friendly person, and I've never been treated rudely when I've asked someone a pertinent question, or chatted about something reasonably germane. But I wouldn't dream of just saying "Hello" to someone in the way you describe. At least in my head, it comes off the way that nerdy teenage boys do, when they try to talk to girls they like: awkward, out of context, and uncomfortable for all involved.

That being said, it's rude to ignore someone, generally speaking, and I never do it except on rare occasions (panhandlers, people with clipboards, etc.). But it may not be 100% rudeness in intention. I know some people with social anxiety who tend to freeze up when a stranger talks to them, and in general I think that if you grow up in a world where MYOB is the main paradigm, there's a lot of that around. People who are shy or retiring, or just like to be private, often unfairly get tarred with the "You think you're better than me" brush. But there's definitely some heightened snootiness going on in FFC, sure.

Also, keep in mind that what's a "problem" for outsiders may be just fine with the people who live there. I'm told that in much of Russia, the default facial expression is basically a hostile mask, which is often off-putting to newcomers. Furthermore, in many parts of Africa, smiling is something that's done very seldom, and only as an expression of genuine mirth or warmth. They think we smile too much, and think it looks false or insincere! Yet we'd be foolish to "correct" them, and vice versa.

So above all, when in Rome: and if you don't like Rome, move to Venice!
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Old 04-13-2009, 04:16 PM
 
7,888 posts, read 8,662,349 times
Reputation: 4734
I have to side with Ms. Fancy regarding Stamford. It is the most egotistical place in the state. It wasn't like that when i originally began spending time in Stamford over a decade ago, but in the last 6 years or so, the attitudes have gotten pretty obnoxious. IMHO.
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Old 04-13-2009, 05:41 PM
 
Location: Connecticut
1,518 posts, read 3,094,247 times
Reputation: 964
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stratford, Ct. Resident View Post
I have to side with Ms. Fancy regarding Stamford. It is the most egotistical place in the state. It wasn't like that when i originally began spending time in Stamford over a decade ago, but in the last 6 years or so, the attitudes have gotten pretty obnoxious. IMHO.
Ah yes, the nouveau riche I believe they are called.
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Old 04-14-2009, 09:26 AM
 
877 posts, read 1,268,884 times
Reputation: 377
Quote:
Originally Posted by goldenband View Post

So above all, when in Rome: and if you don't like Rome, move to Venice!
LOL. We don't have a Colosseum any more, New Haven tore theirs down. But yes, this is just how it is here.

Generally CTers:
Mind their own business
Keep to themselves
Don't tread on privacy
Most CTers never ever would do the tresspass across the yard open up the back door walk into your neighbors kitchen thing that is seen over and over again on sitcoms

and most CTers don't mind at all that our neighbors do the same MYOB, Privacy thing.

It is only rude if it is the INTENT to be rude. If there is NO INTENT at rudeness, then it is just social norm for the area

by the way:
A Social norm is the sociological term for the behavioral expectations and cues within a society or group.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norm_(sociology)
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Old 04-14-2009, 10:16 AM
 
982 posts, read 192,267 times
Reputation: 249
And you left out one thing:

Most CTers bow at the altar of money.
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Old 04-14-2009, 10:20 AM
 
Location: Fairfield County, CT
11,622 posts, read 11,506,613 times
Reputation: 3139
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsFancyPants View Post
And you left out one thing:

Most CTers bow at the altar of money.
So you're sitting at your computer calling us rude, yet post things such as this? Sounds like Miss I'm so Fancy needs to check herself first.

Do you at least feel better now?
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Old 04-14-2009, 11:06 AM
 
Location: Hartford County
106 posts, read 242,525 times
Reputation: 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsFancyPants View Post
And you left out one thing:

Most CTers bow at the altar of money.
It's 2009, WHO DOESN'T BOW AT THE ALTAR OF MONEY?! I think that comment goes for most of the country if not much of the world. Look at what those A-holes in various cities and positions of power did to the middle class and our economy? And if you think all of CT resembles Fairfield County and a few other pockets in Litchfield and the Southeast, you're sadly mistaken as it's middle to lower middle class and even poor. And again in reference to the bowing at the altar of money - you'd have to be a saint not to want more money to better your lifestyle and have more options. I understand you are talking about a small portion of extremely greedy yuppies (or whatever you want to call them)but if you want to break down a statement of most CTers bowing at the altar of money, I have to say who doesn't? Look at our tv programing. Look at our media. The rich, handsome and successful live like kids in a candy store while we're all debating whether to take our family for a single weekend to the shore due to lack of money or lack of a job. There's a lot of wallet checking and scrimping so I sure wouldn't mind a couple of extra grand muchless a million or so coming my way and there isn't a single person on this board or any board in the whole internet that doesn't agree unless you're already very wealthy and now worship the altar of power and politics. Don't judge CT by Stamford.
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Old 04-14-2009, 12:16 PM
 
Location: New England
8,156 posts, read 12,241,516 times
Reputation: 3152
My alter is broke.

lol
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Old 04-14-2009, 01:48 PM
 
877 posts, read 1,268,884 times
Reputation: 377
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsFancyPants View Post
And you left out one thing:

Most CTers bow at the altar of money.
Ok... since you were so incredibly classy to bow to the alter....

ahem... let me tell you something with a touch more yankee forthrightness... most people I've met in my over 40 years here in CT have no more than a couple of months worth of "cost of living/expenses" saved. Not 'cause they are spending up a storm either, I've only ever met 2 people who can shop at Ed Mitchell's in Westport, rather our savings is low 'cause living here takes all you earn. So Ms Fancy Pants, I'll tell you this, no one I know has FANCY pants . Walmart, Target, (Caldor & Bradlees when they were still open) have good value for families. I would venture that less than 7-8% of Ffld county would fit in, in the religious alter you describe. The rest of us are working folks, not really white or blue collar, but some shade of pastel sky blue.

What CTers are you meeting that are wearing FANCY PANTS ? Where in FFld County did you live? or are you speaking for your own fancy wardrobe. And if you are the fancy one, then maybe your giving off a "I'm too fancy to be nice vibe?" Like the song "... too sexy for my shirt"...

We do our own hair cause the salons are too expensive, we shop consignment, we change plans when cable intro rates go up.

Seriously quit generalizing a whole state because you felt CT didn't jump up and down enough for your liking, and wasn't saying things like "hey everyone Fancy Pants is here."

Oh... and mind your own business about what kind of pants people wear, respect their privacy that they might be on a budget or having more concerns, and if your opinion is negative, then social norms say "keep them to yourself"
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Old 04-14-2009, 01:59 PM
 
Location: Western Hoosierland
18,269 posts, read 2,579,180 times
Reputation: 5943
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tiger Beer View Post
What do most people generally perceive of Connecticut?

Prior to viewing photos on city-data, I always perceived 100% suburban white-picket fence-like. Surprisingly, I am finding it to have a very urban-looking feel to most of the cities.

What do most people seem to perceive of as CT? (Even if you are from CT, what is the general stereotype/feelings on your state?)

My perception of Connecticut is that Connecticut is filled with lots of rich snooty white people who are more worried about making money than their family and live in big humongous "smart" mansions that have 40 bathrooms and 50 bedrooms for a family of only like 4-5 people and the people believe in the "Stepford" life.

I havent checked out the picture thread so I think I will do that
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