[magggmom]

Hi- We moved to Bergen County NJ from MA a few years ago after looking at Ridgfield and NJ, and feel that we've made a mistake. Our town is nice to look at with all the amenities, but there is a lot of pressure on the kids, who are overscheduled and all are getting ready for Harvard (most of the kids in my childs kindergarten class had "enrichment" and some even had tutors). Before we make another move, can you please give me an idea what it is like to live in Ridgefield? I know of the amenities-but what are the schools like- is there learning with fun or is it all business? I have a 9 and 6 year old. Also- what about the way of life- is it laid back or are the kids constantly on the go? Any insight would be greatly appreciated!

[mlassoff]

I can understand what you are feeling. I was a graduate of near-by Staples High School, and the pressure on kids in this area of Fairfield County can be enormous. And yes, by and large, parents do put pressure on kids (and over schedule kids) so that they do achieve.

However, on the other side of it, by and large it works. Most of the kids do very well. I am now 35 and all of my close friends from high school-- and the overwhelming majority of people I graduated with -- have finished college and gone on to professional careers, married, had families, etc. No one that I know of is in jail, etc....

It's a judgement call. Sure the area swings far in the direction of pressure and achievement as strong values, but... there are worse things...

[kidyankee764]

I know Ridgefield pretty well. It will be more laid-back than Bergen, but it's still an "on the go" town. Many parents in Fairfield County do pressure their children, but as mlassoff said, it's not such a bad thing in my opinion. Ridgefield is this way, though to a lesser scale than lower FFC. People here are very friendly though.

You can't really go wrong in Ridgefield, IMHO.

[renovating]

Originally Posted by magggmom

Hi- We moved to Bergen County NJ from MA a few years ago after looking at Ridgfield and NJ, and feel that we've made a mistake. Our town is nice to look at with all the amenities, but there is a lot of pressure on the kids, who are overscheduled and all are getting ready for Harvard (most of the kids in my childs kindergarten class had "enrichment" and some even had tutors). Before we make another move, can you please give me an idea what it is like to live in Ridgefield? I know of the amenities-but what are the schools like- is there learning with fun or is it all business? I have a 9 and 6 year old. Also- what about the way of life- is it laid back or are the kids constantly on the go? Any insight would be greatly appreciated!

I agree with pp that Ridgefield is great. Education is highly valued across our state.

As a parent, you should have control over whether or not your kids are overscheduled or constantly on the go. CT. Life is busy anywhere...no more here than anywhere else. If you don't want your kids "constantly on the go", that's up to you as a parent to set that. Where you live has no bearing on that!

Not sure moving to Ridgefield would be any different for you. I'd really make sure uprooting your family for those reasons would be worth it.

[TheseGoTo11]

Reality of life in good parts of the tri-state area - hypercompetitive parents with massive insecurities about their children's accomplishments. No wonder so many of these kids are taking meds by 11.

People are just a lot more normal in the wealthy towns around Hartford and New Haven. Ridgefield is OK, but if I had to move back to CT, I'd go for Glastonbury or Guilford. Thank God everyday I don't have to work in NY with its crass culture.

[magggmom]

I want my kids to do well, and do highly value education (I used to be a teacher) and I also understand that I set the tone in our home. But being the "different" family who doesn't live in their car taking kids from one activity to another, and being constantly pressured to do more after school can be difficult. Thesegoto11, I think you and I are on the same page- it is possible to do well, and not have to push kids to the edge in order to become accomplished. I want them to be kids- they only get that chance once. I'm just looking for people that think the same way- not the whole town, but just a few people. It seems that in the tri state area, that is like finding a needle in a haystack. Thank you all for your postings and insight.

[mlassoff]

There are many families-- I bet the majority-- who don't overschedule their kids, or put ridiculous amounts of pressure on them. Sure there are some hypercompetitive parents, but you find that on Long Island, New Jersey and California too...

Calling people from Fairfield County abnormal, or our culture "crass" only serves to promote the negative hyperbole that simply isn't true!

It's akin to me saying the reason you don't like the area is cause you left the area is you, personally, couldn't "handle" New York-- as if you have some character deficit.

When it comes down to it, most people who live in these towns love it, are quite normal and many objective observers say that Fairfield, Westport, Ridgefield, Wilton, Darien, Greenwich are among the most desirable areas of the country to live in. I'd assume thats why the real estate is so expensive.

I'm not putting down any other area of Connecticut. There are things I love about every part of the state, but the people of Fairfield County are no better, but also no worse than anyone else.

[TheseGoTo11]

To clarify, competitiveness might be the wrong word. I live in the Northern VA suburbs of DC, where the % of adults with Bachelor's is 15 points higher than in Fairfield County, so it's plenty competitive. But I'm in the tri-state area a lot, and what I find around there is a culture of being ostentatious and flashy that I don't see as much here, it extends from fashion to when it's appropriate to discuss your children's accomplishments.

That said, I find Fairfield County to be far less showy than places like Bergen or Nassau, where I've attended social events and Bar Mitzvahs that were way over the top. While I think places like Glastonbury and Guilford offer an accomplished, but restrained, New England lifestyle someone from Mass. would be comfortable with, I think the OP would find people in Ridgefield to be far more reasonable than she is finding in NJ.

[kidyankee764]

Originally Posted by TheseGoTo11

To clarify, competitiveness might be the wrong word. I live in the Northern VA suburbs of DC, where the % of adults with Bachelor's is 15 points higher than in Fairfield County, so it's plenty competitive. But I'm in the tri-state area a lot, and what I find around there is a culture of being ostentatious and flashy that I don't see as much here, it extends from fashion to when it's appropriate to discuss your children's accomplishments.

That said, I find Fairfield County to be far less showy than places like Bergen or Nassau, where I've attended social events and Bar Mitzvahs that were way over the top. While I think places like Glastonbury and Guilford offer an accomplished, but restrained, New England lifestyle someone from Mass. would be comfortable with, I think the OP would find people in Ridgefield to be far more reasonable than she is finding in NJ.

IMO, Guilford and Glastonbury are just as competitive (if not, more) than Fairfield County. I know many in G-bury who claim this, and a few who have left for these very reasons you're stating.

I would also have to disagree with FFC being more flashy than NoVa. The amount of mcmansions and plastic neighborhoods in NoVA is quite a turn off, and I have found the pretentious attitude in areas like Loudon County is far more prevalent than what one would see in FFC.

[J&A'sMOM]

I've found Fairfield Cty isn't as crazy/busy as other suburban areas I've lived - even thought people who've grown up in Ffld Cty would disagree - they think it's crazy. There seems to be much less pressure and also people are much less social so your social calendar won't be quite as busy as in other communities. I love Ridgefield and I think it seems very nice! Good Luck