[phoenixxphyre]

Everyone I know basically said go whether he wants to go or not, and if it's meant to be it'll work out. But no sooner did he say he would not cocieve of FL did the job my brother thought was 'sure' turn into not sure. And, as I was typing this I just got a voicemail from a guy in NY wanting to talk to me about a position, which I can actually do telecommuting. I am just about to head out to my current job where I'll be til 11p, so I will have to call him tomorrow morning...but it's looking like fate might be saying FL's a nogo, no?

[JayCT]

I am sorry to hear the Florida plans may not work out. That is the exciting thing about being young and just starting out, you never know where you will end up. getting that first job in your field of choice is SOOOOO important. It sets the base for your entire career. Get some experience and then move if you do not like the area you are living in.

One thing I will agree with is do not make your plans around your boyfriend unless you are really serious (I mean ready for a commitment). If you and he were meant to be, it will work out no matter where you get your first job. Good luck. Jay

[phoenixxphyre]

Well, if I decide to go to FL, I could conceivably still do it because this job would be telecommuting and see what's down there. But that's what I figure; all I need to do is get the experience to get the jobs I want later wherever they may be.

Well, I would be (and I'm flexible enough that I'm not too concerned right now where I end up as long as it's not NE OH). But I'm not sure about him; he wants to think about it. I think a lot of it comes from the fact that early in college his ex moved to be closer to him to a school she didn't really want to go to just because he was there, but she hated it. So, I think he's afraid to move to FL because he doesn't want to end up stuck like she did if it doesn't work out (though I said I'd help him move back if it didn't work out or he hated it that much), and he's afraid if I go where he goes that it'll be like her going and I'll be miserable and blame him for it, which wouldn't be the case because I'm not a miserable person I can find things to like about pretty much anywhere (including NE OH but 22 years of it is a bit much).

I think it will work out...a lot of things fell into place at the right time for things to work out at the beginning, and things seem to be doing similarly now. Only time will tell.

[phoenixxphyre]

Honestly, I just sat with a map, thought about what I personally want, where I think I'd like to be if my boyfriend were not a factor and got rid of anything I didn't lean toward for various reasons. I ended up with seven states to consider (and four I would leave open but know pretty much nothing about like RI and VT). Of the seven, I got rid of the ones that appealed to me less and ended up with MA and CT (anywhere if I found a job before moving, but close to NYC if not).

Considering that next to living in NYC itself (which I really do not think I'd like), living in a CT suburb would be the next best thing careerwise, and my preferance towards having access to the ocean and mountains (which FL sadly does not offer...and has the humidity I so hate besides) I think that, whether we manage to work out or not CT is going to be the best place for me to work on being.

Because another opportunity came up in FL (only a hotel job about 30 minutes from my brother's) and I just need to tell them when I plan to be on the area for an interview, I think I'm going to go ahead and see how that works. I'll see if I can get him to come with me just to check it out and see if he'd be willing to try it for a few months until we can get plans underway to move where we do want to go (whether that's together or separate). Being young and not already begun on a career and having the opportunity for a cheap (compared to what other ppl are paying) place to stay and new things to see for awhile, but having plans to leave when it's no longer appealing (I honestly can't see me wanting to live there for more than a year if that) this seems like a chance to see things and live a little bit the way I probably wouldn't get the chance to or want to even a couple years from now.

If he won't go but isn't ready to move in general yet anyhow, I'll probably go ahead and go on my own, see what it's like, etc. and work on my own to get to CT, and if that's still where he wants to be and he comes around, so much so the better. And in the meantime, I've been checking out publications in the area, and I'll still be keeping a periodic eye out for opportunities here.

I don't know why it didn't occur to me earlier that it didn't have to be as my teacher made it seem CA or NYC as the only logical options (and CA only appeals to me as far the other option for job and the beach and warmth--and doesn't appeal for the lack of seasons and being completely across the country from everyone else I know)...I suppose probably because until my boyfriend started talking about CT and how much he'd liked NE, it never really occurred to me to think about this side of the map, until I started looking up information about the state, seeing if I could see myself there, what he liked about it, etc. I would have never known that it's not just a question of is it a good idea to commute to NYC but that thousands of people think it is and do from CT every day or that, all things considered, that option (or working in CT if I can manage it) would actually be the best option for me in the long-run.

So, thanks for the advice, guys; it's spurred a lot of thinking and consideration, and I'm sure that you'll see me around some more

[JayCT]

phoenixxphyre - I do not want to tell you what to do, but your goal should be to get a job in the profession you went to school for, not just any job. I am not certain of your finances, but if you want to be in the publishing profession, then look for job in it.

I have sen too many people get out of school and then take the first job they could find and years later complain that their college education did nothing to help them. If you want to be in publishing then you have to look for a job in publishing. That may take you somewhere you haven't thought of living. Once you get some experience, then you have the luxury of selecting where you want to live. I am sure there are jobs in publishing in Florida. Check out newspapers and magazines there. You may have to live far from your brother. Anyway, that is just my thoughts. Jay

[phoenixxphyre]

Well, I've looked at a lot of the newspapers and magazines there. I'm sure there are jobs there in some places (I hear that Miami has a lot of magazines), but the only way I can financially sustain to go to FL without having that lined up already would be to live with my brother which basically keeps me in the West Palm Beach area.

I did look at things as far as Boca, and did apply to any editorial positions that interested me that were there, but I haven't seen anything in the same area since. I plan to keep looking at all the boards I have been, etc. and seeing if something jumps at me somewhere that I wouldn't have considered, but without having a job in place, it makes the most sense to me to stay here and save up $ while I keep applying elsewhere, and if I haven't found something by the time my lease is up, just move wherever I have the best chance of finding something in my field. (I could move down to FL and take whatever the first job I can get is and keep looking, but then if I don't find something I'm really not in much a better positions than I am up here)

Financially, with what I have saved, in bonds, and left from college savings, if I found someplace for a grand or less a month and at least a part time job while I look for what I do want to do to pay for utilities and food, I could sustain myself if I had to (although I would hope it wouldn't take that long once actually in an area) for about half a year, longer if I was splitting the cost with someone.

The job I would have had in FL (which I don't know if I mentioned they did give to someone else, though they said they'd be interest to know if I end up in the area) would have been management, which isn't *precisely* what I want to do, but would have developed some skills I'm sure would still be useful in an editorial position and I could have looked while doing that. But the only call I've gotten from down there was a hotel job, which is no better than what I'm doing up here except slightly better pay, so now I'm not sure I should just up and move and hope, considering that most of the magazines are located an hour still from where I'd be working.

They're doing some reorganizing at the hotel I'm at; the gm is probably moving to another hotel and the girl who's front desk manager now would take his place, so she said if I plan on staying (or coming back if I go and don't like it) remember that she's going to need someone to take her place. So I'm considering that, since it would pay about as much as I'd make as a regular front desk person down there (and in that case I could save more, because my rent's only 395 here), give me some of the same skills I'd have gotten from the manager position down there but give me more time to get organized (moving right now on short notice would ensure a lot of it got half assed) and figure out what I really want. And of course, keep looking for and applying to jobs in the meantime.

[JayCT]

Sounds like you have this well thought out, just need to make some difficult decisions. I know it all may be a bit overwhelming, but enjoy the excitement of the anticipation of change. I wish you the best wherever you end up. Jay

[phoenixxphyre]

Thanks Bit overwhelming is a bit of an understatement; top that with trying to figure this all out and trying to figure out what any one decision on either of our parts will mean for me and my boyfriend, and I'm a ball of frazzled. I just try to take deep breaths and tell myself that things work out how they should and if my gut feeling's right, we'll be fine but we'll have a lot to consider now that this coming up on short notice brought the whole 'what do we do if one of us gets a job elsewhere' thing to the forefront (which may have been the universe's only point in dropping the prospect of FL in the mix...being about as far away as I could get on this coast). I wanted out of this state pretty bad; as long as the opportunities are about equal, I want to see what happens with him more, and I think more time here to figure all this out will be the best

CT's in the cards as an option either way

[Thruway]

Originally Posted by JayCT

Connecticut's shoreline is densely developed priimarily because it is such an old and historic area. People tend to live near water (ocean, rivers, etc.) which before the railroads was the major type of transportation. The railroad came through a little further inland in the early to mid 1800's and with it a new line of dense development began. In the early part of the 1900's, Route 1 was built and that created another line of dense development. Generally though Route 1 divides the densest areas from lower density areas. North of Route 1 in Fairfield and Westport for example gets pretty rural because these towns have 2 acre zoning. That is also true for second tier towns like Easton, Weston and Wilton which have large lot (acre +) zoning. It is just the way the area developed. Jay

I have family and visit Trumbull, usually we go out or shopping in the Trumbull, Fairfield, Milford, Shelton area.
They all seem suburban.

When driving in on I-95 or the Merrit it seems very dense and developed yet it also appears just maybe 10 miles from Trumbull, if that, to the north in Easton, Monroe, or up Rt 8 it's rural, is that true?

It seems that 90% of Fairfield county's population and everyday occurances happen within a small parcel of the land.

[JayCT]

The Merritt is sort of the dividing line between the rural or larger lot areas to the north and the denser smaller lot areas to the south. There is also some denser areas along certain north/south corridors north of the parkway like Main Street in Trumbull or Route 7 in Norwalk/Wilton. In certain parts, the parkway passes through portions of towns that are rural both to the north and south, like Greenfield Hill in Fairfield, Long Lots in Westport and the north end of Darien and Greenwich. Jay