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Old 07-07-2016, 02:57 PM
 
Location: Connecticut
24,576 posts, read 40,130,038 times
Reputation: 6942

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Quote:
Originally Posted by FunkOdyssey View Post
This response saddens me. Perhaps you're right and the wealth of the area automatically equals snooty & judgemental and she was a fool to think she could find any exceptions. Or you're wrong and unfairly maligning a huge swath of people in Avon & Simsbury. Either case is lamentable.
Sorry my response was not meant to say anything bad about Avon and Simsbury. I have family that lives in Simsbury and have met a LOT of wonderful down to earth people from both towns. In fact I would say all were very nice. Still like any affluent town (or any town for that matter) you will have some snobs. You can't move to an affluent community ANYWHERE and not expect to find some. Avon is a great community as NewJeffCT has noted. Not sure why the OP had issues there. Jay
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Old 07-08-2016, 10:21 AM
 
29 posts, read 17,806 times
Reputation: 30
I know I'm a day late to this but I am having a chuckle reading it. We lived in highland park, Illinois, for a dozen years before moving to Avon. Highland park abuts lake forest and glencoe, and together those towns comprise a very affluent block with all the accoutrements and attitudes of the upper class (or quelle surprise, the striving upper middle class). It's was a &&$tshow, in sum. A culture that had rotted inside and now existed only to house a carefully groomed group of sociopaths and their offspring who lead our corporations and trade our currency and grease the wheels of industry and government.

It was too close a look.

By comparison, the Farmington valley, and Avon and Simsbury in particular, are amazingly well preserved upper middle class bastions of authentic, well meaning, hard working good citizens.

Are some of the women too obsessed with the club life, shopping, excercising and prep school fundraising? Are some of the men biding their time in middle level management roles, adding little but admin burden to their insurance companies machinations? Are these gender roles too rarely swapped? Sure. But....so what? I'll take these sins.

We had an 'opportunity' (a demand, more) to relocate to Greenwich / new Canaan a couple of years ago and opted instead to change jobs and stay in Avon. I couldn't imagine running back into the mouth of the monster. But, having said that, you can't live a life hiding from something -- you have to make whenever you are your home and embrace it's foibles.

My Chicago friends think I've given up and now live on a goat farm somewhere with no Neimans. I am in fact writing this in my lands end sweatshorts and tank, which I will wear to the shop rite in a moment. Why not? The days of needing the latest balenciaga city to go the grocery store are behind me.

I like the people here. They're funny and kind and care a great deal about things that matter. It's heaven. But no place is for everyone. Your personal style matters here, as in most places. You have to be someone the locals find interesting enough to want to spend time with. (That's not a judgement, dear, just a general observation.). If you're happy now that's what matters.
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Old 07-08-2016, 03:57 PM
 
56 posts, read 45,584 times
Reputation: 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomhpo View Post
I know I'm a day late to this but I am having a chuckle reading it. We lived in highland park, Illinois, for a dozen years before moving to Avon. Highland park abuts lake forest and glencoe, and together those towns comprise a very affluent block with all the accoutrements and attitudes of the upper class (or quelle surprise, the striving upper middle class). It's was a &&$tshow, in sum. A culture that had rotted inside and now existed only to house a carefully groomed group of sociopaths and their offspring who lead our corporations and trade our currency and grease the wheels of industry and government.

It was too close a look.

By comparison, the Farmington valley, and Avon and Simsbury in particular, are amazingly well preserved upper middle class bastions of authentic, well meaning, hard working good citizens.

Are some of the women too obsessed with the club life, shopping, excercising and prep school fundraising? Are some of the men biding their time in middle level management roles, adding little but admin burden to their insurance companies machinations? Are these gender roles too rarely swapped? Sure. But....so what? I'll take these sins.

We had an 'opportunity' (a demand, more) to relocate to Greenwich / new Canaan a couple of years ago and opted instead to change jobs and stay in Avon. I couldn't imagine running back into the mouth of the monster. But, having said that, you can't live a life hiding from something -- you have to make whenever you are your home and embrace it's foibles.

My Chicago friends think I've given up and now live on a goat farm somewhere with no Neimans. I am in fact writing this in my lands end sweatshorts and tank, which I will wear to the shop rite in a moment. Why not? The days of needing the latest balenciaga city to go the grocery store are behind me.

I like the people here. They're funny and kind and care a great deal about things that matter. It's heaven. But no place is for everyone. Your personal style matters here, as in most places. You have to be someone the locals find interesting enough to want to spend time with. (That's not a judgement, dear, just a general observation.). If you're happy now that's what matters.
Well, again, looks like we had a freak crappy experience with living in Avon. We moved there from the Midwest, so I guess my expectations were high. We've made several moves in the past 14 years of marriage, and have made wonderful life-long friends everywhere except for Avon. We lived on a small cul-de-sac. We always helped our neighbors when they were in need, including snow blowing and shoveling several neighbors driveways when one had a hurt back and another was on vacation and their live-in motherinlaw was snowed in. On only one occasion my husband happened to be out of town when a big snow storm blew in, I had a sick baby, my 2 year old was too young to stay alone inside while I tried to clear the driveway. I called my neighbor who we had helped out several times to possibly watch my 2 year old while I shoveled my driveway (during my baby's nap time and baby monitor in my pocket so I could hear her if she woke up.). This neighbor said her husband was home working and that her 3 kids would be distracting enough for him. I was so hurt and dissappointed. I called another neighbor to see if one of her 3 boys would mind snow blowing my driveway and that I would pay them well. She said her boys were sick of the snow and had too much school work. Again, we had been there for them in the past. I think the issue was that our house was on the market so they knew we were moving and didn't have any reason to really help us. Not what I call kind people.
I also met with a playgroup of 6 other moms and their children. The topic of conversation for every play date was where they purchased their kids adorable clothes. Ok so there were other things discussed here and there, but most of it revolved around material things and making sure they always appeared as the perfect mother. No thank you. I'm real. My kids aren't perfect. They are allowed to run around barefoot. They can play in the sandbox. They were allowed to get their Target (gasp) clothes dirty. I stomached the playgroup every week because their children were great, and my kids really liked them. But after we moved, I tried to contact these women to just say hello. You know what? No response. Not once and we moved away 5 years ago. They even threw us a going-away party at the Farmington country club, no less. I'm a lifelong friend. They apparently had no more "use" for us so they didn't find any reason to keep in touch. Oh well, their loss.
Over the 4 years we met lots of people, all similar attitudes and not really genuine. Again, I'm glad we left.
We are currently contemplating another move. Living in Avon taught me lots of things. Keep your expectations low and make the most of where you are. You are not going to like everyone. Had we stayed in Avon longer, and our kids had entered the school system, we may have met the wonderful people you talk about. I had my babies there, so I may have been limited with my encounters since I stayed at home with them. My husband has family in Avon and Simsbury, and they are probably the best people I know. They also complain about the snootiness. They are life-long residents of the area, so go figure.
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Old 07-09-2016, 10:56 AM
 
29 posts, read 17,806 times
Reputation: 30
Yeah, I understand what you're saying. Avon is a transitory town. Lots of comings and goings, at an interval of 2.5 - 3 years. When we moved here our real estate agent (life long Farmington) called Avon a 'town of corporate gypsies'. And I think, if you'll forgive the stereotyping, that some of the hardest to get to know are women with young children. There's a certain fierce competitiveness that seems unnecessary and even counterproductive.

When my sons were 7 & 8, they played little league but on different fields (old farms and sperry, remember?). Those fields are about a 10 minute drive apart, especially in rush hour traffic on route 10. Well, I was traveling and my husband was watching both boys play simultaneously at both fields when the skies opened up - a pounding rain came down. The games were both called and he was at old farms with the 7 year old. In the time it took him to maneuver out of the crowded lot with the younger boy in tow, and up to sperry, all the 8 year olds had dispersed. My son was standing near the dugout drenched, scared and alone. All the moms with whom my husband had just spoken about watching him for an inning while husband ducked to sperry, had left my son there. Even the coaches and umpires were gone.

So, yeah, it's a place where people are sometimes too selfish and sometimes too petty and always too quick to gossip and judge. But, altogether lesser sins than I've seen in other spots. Ive found it helps to verbalize your feelings calmly at these times. Not to get an apology so much as to try to understand it. I do think it's misplaced competition. We're in a depreciating cycle here. People are 'losing ground' and they react by grabbing for more and living a little fearfully. I hope it gets better soon.

I would have sent my sons over to blow your snow. :-)
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Old 07-09-2016, 06:42 PM
 
2,971 posts, read 2,023,173 times
Reputation: 1027
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomhpo View Post
Yeah, I understand what you're saying. Avon is a transitory town. Lots of comings and goings, at an interval of 2.5 - 3 years. When we moved here our real estate agent (life long Farmington) called Avon a 'town of corporate gypsies'. And I think, if you'll forgive the stereotyping, that some of the hardest to get to know are women with young children. There's a certain fierce competitiveness that seems unnecessary and even counterproductive.

When my sons were 7 & 8, they played little league but on different fields (old farms and sperry, remember?). Those fields are about a 10 minute drive apart, especially in rush hour traffic on route 10. Well, I was traveling and my husband was watching both boys play simultaneously at both fields when the skies opened up - a pounding rain came down. The games were both called and he was at old farms with the 7 year old. In the time it took him to maneuver out of the crowded lot with the younger boy in tow, and up to sperry, all the 8 year olds had dispersed. My son was standing near the dugout drenched, scared and alone. All the moms with whom my husband had just spoken about watching him for an inning while husband ducked to sperry, had left my son there. Even the coaches and umpires were gone.

So, yeah, it's a place where people are sometimes too selfish and sometimes too petty and always too quick to gossip and judge. But, altogether lesser sins than I've seen in other spots. Ive found it helps to verbalize your feelings calmly at these times. Not to get an apology so much as to try to understand it. I do think it's misplaced competition. We're in a depreciating cycle here. People are 'losing ground' and they react by grabbing for more and living a little fearfully. I hope it gets better soon.

I would have sent my sons over to blow your snow. :-)
Man some of that stuff sounds pretty harsh. Things sound pretty rough up there.
Down here in the hated SW corner, i have to say people have been superb for the most part in the past couple of years. Including a school year end gathering at a multi million $ home near southport beach, the hosts couldnt be any nicer, among other examples.
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Old 07-11-2016, 07:20 AM
 
29 posts, read 17,806 times
Reputation: 30
Yeah, the Hartford area is experiencing dramatic real estate depreciation, especially above $700k. It's a long term trend (prices never recovered and are now at lows-- back to 1999/2000 prices). It's draining goodwill (and tax receipts), throughout Hartford county.

If the health insurer mergers go through I think we'll see more contraction and it will likely mean no recovery for the foreseeable future. It's a very different economy than ffc. The Farmington valley may have 'peaked' in terms of the population of upper middle class residents. We have modest population growth but average incomes are dropping, even as unemployment slowly drops. Anecdotally, we know dozens of families who have had their incomes drop from a job loss. About half relocate and are replaced by a family of lesser means (or less stable means) and the half who stay usually can't replace the lost income even if a second adult gets a job.

A new industry has to settle in and provide 100s of jobs that pay as well as the insurance jobs being displaced. And I'm not optimistic. It's affecting the culture here. Too much economic stress.
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Old 07-11-2016, 01:56 PM
 
56 posts, read 45,584 times
Reputation: 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomhpo View Post
Yeah, I understand what you're saying. Avon is a transitory town. Lots of comings and goings, at an interval of 2.5 - 3 years. When we moved here our real estate agent (life long Farmington) called Avon a 'town of corporate gypsies'. And I think, if you'll forgive the stereotyping, that some of the hardest to get to know are women with young children. There's a certain fierce competitiveness that seems unnecessary and even counterproductive.

When my sons were 7 & 8, they played little league but on different fields (old farms and sperry, remember?). Those fields are about a 10 minute drive apart, especially in rush hour traffic on route 10. Well, I was traveling and my husband was watching both boys play simultaneously at both fields when the skies opened up - a pounding rain came down. The games were both called and he was at old farms with the 7 year old. In the time it took him to maneuver out of the crowded lot with the younger boy in tow, and up to sperry, all the 8 year olds had dispersed. My son was standing near the dugout drenched, scared and alone. All the moms with whom my husband had just spoken about watching him for an inning while husband ducked to sperry, had left my son there. Even the coaches and umpires were gone.

So, yeah, it's a place where people are sometimes too selfish and sometimes too petty and always too quick to gossip and judge. But, altogether lesser sins than I've seen in other spots. Ive found it helps to verbalize your feelings calmly at these times. Not to get an apology so much as to try to understand it. I do think it's misplaced competition. We're in a depreciating cycle here. People are 'losing ground' and they react by grabbing for more and living a little fearfully. I hope it gets better soon.

I would have sent my sons over to blow your snow. :-)
Thanks for offering your sons to snow blow . I would have NEVER left your son at the baseball field. That so horrible!!

I guess it is all perspective. We came there from the Midwest (we are currently back in the same location we lived before moving to Avon.). People look out for each other, especially each other's children. We all share our cell numbers so we are in communication with each other whenever someone needs help. We live in a very affluent area with excellent schools and all the bells and whistles, so we have some snottiness here too. But even those people are genuinely caring and kind, once you look past all the "stuff" they care about. Avon was just too big of a shock to my system. But it sounds like the place you came from was much worse than Avon, so I can see that it can always be worse.

Hope the economy improves there. We bought at the height (2007) and it tanked after that. We sold in 2011 and I thought we were selling at rock bottom since we took a bath on that house. But I believe things haven't gotten any better.

And one last thing I'll add. Even with a crappy economy and all, it costs nothing to be a decent human being. It would have cost nothing to help with my driveway (actually, the kids would have earned some money and learned something about helping your neighbor when they are desparate,) or watching your child so they wouldn't be alone until your husband got there, or saying hello in an email when you had the time to write. All of these things are things that people used to do for each other, until we get so caught up in ourselves. Again, the selfishness was unreal.

Last edited by ritamiller9; 07-11-2016 at 02:20 PM..
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Old 07-11-2016, 02:16 PM
 
4,503 posts, read 4,173,449 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ritamiller9 View Post
Thanks for offering your sons to snow blow . I would have NEVER left your son at the baseball field. That so horrible!!

I guess it is all perspective. We came there from the Midwest (we are currently back in the same location we lived before moving to Avon.). People look out for each other, especially each other's children. We all share our cell numbers so we are in communication with each other whenever someone needs help. We live in a very affluent area with excellent schools and all the bells and whistles, so we have some snottiness here too. But even those people are genuinely caring and kind, once you look past all the "stuff" they care about. Avon was just too big of a shock to my system. But it sounds like the place you came from was much worse than Avon, so I can see that it can always be worse.

Hope the economy improves there. We bought at the height (2007) and it tanked after that. We sold in 2011 and I thought we were selling at rock bottom since we took a bath on that house. But I believe things haven't gotten any better
I think the market ticked up in 2011 and 2012 - our house in Avon sold the day it came onto the market in 2012, even though we priced it higher than every agent we interviewed had recommended. And, yes, we received a full price offer. However, it's slowed down since then, especially for most higher end homes. A high end home that's been nicely updated still sells pretty quickly, but if it needs work, updating or has something unusual about it, you could be in for a wait and price cuts. By unusual: - I saw three homes in Avon this past year that were very nice overall, but had steep driveways, and one had a steep & partially shared driveway. Another home that was really big overall and had a beautiful interior, but the yard was a disaster and the 10 year old deck was falling apart. So, horrible curb appeal.
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