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Old 11-16-2013, 03:32 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,142 posts, read 45,675,592 times
Reputation: 61842

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Quote:
Originally Posted by njkate View Post
That's why I would never ever live in one of those places....too many people with nothing to do and all day to do it so they end up in everyone's business....sell and move to a normal neighborhood
This is how I feel. I am in the over 55 age group, but the idea of having no one living near me except a bunch of old farts, is my idea of horrible.

I've seen all the Del Webb ads, with hip seniors riding bikes and swimming in the pool, but the reality is that all they want to talk about is politics and their aches and pains, and who is going to nail the most recent widower. No thanks.

 
Old 11-16-2013, 05:08 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
21,697 posts, read 23,681,631 times
Reputation: 35449
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emeraldmaiden View Post
Did you read the article? It states that he says he has not received any warnings or fines for rules violations.

In other words, he was following the rules.
I don't buy that. When he moved in, he was given the rules, I would bet on it. Everyone who moves into those types of places are. Why would he feel that he would need to be told that he was in violation of the very rules he agreed to abide by in order to be accepted by the community? Is he that irresponsible he couldn't figure that out for himself? Or did he feel he was the exception? And we have only his word that he did not receive notice. If he wanted a place where his granddaughter could visit for as long as he liked, why didn't he simply move to a place that allowed it?

I don't condone the vandalism at all. That was totally wrong. But someone might have been very frustrated with this man to have gone to this length of action to make a point. I wonder how the story got into the news to begin with. I think there is more to it than we are hearing about. This kind of reporting usually does not tell the entire story. Before drawing any conclusions, I would like to hear the HA's view as well as the neighbors' and any others involved.
 
Old 11-16-2013, 06:05 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,060 posts, read 17,382,869 times
Reputation: 41519
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
My MIL & FIL moved into a 55 plus community. No one had any problems with grandchildren visiting for a week at Christmas and a week or two in the summer. However, there were several situations of adult children with their children moving in on a "temporary basis" which, in some cases, ended up being months and months.

No one spray painted No Kids on anything but I was told that sometimes neighbors did get into verbal disagreements.

According to my in-laws a big problem was that a lot of the youngsters & teens enjoyed using the pool and were not always the most careful or polite around the older residents/condo owners.
As a side note, the problem with visiting young children and teens got so bad at their over 55 community that some of the older/more fragile owners were afraid to even go to the pool because there had been several "accidents" where children ran into or even knocked down a resident. The association set up a rule, which was very strictly enforced, that only official residents were allowed in the pool area for a specific two hour period every day. It seemed a rather strange and unnecessary rule to me.

Then I had the opportunity to watch the "changing of the guard" one day. My young children and I were swimming with my MIL when it was the time to leave the pool. Several residents were just coming into the pool area very slowly moving with their canes or walkers, which they used to help them get into the pool.

I could certainly see then why they set up that rule (only residents in the pool two hours per day).

Back to the thread. It doesn't give any details from his neighbors but to cause such as very strong reaction (spray painting his car) I suspect that there is much more to the original story.

Last edited by germaine2626; 11-16-2013 at 06:23 PM..
 
Old 11-16-2013, 06:24 PM
 
Location: California
30,702 posts, read 33,496,337 times
Reputation: 26130
I've seen this sort of thing before and without knowing who's doing what here I can say that people do think they are the exception. All the time.

My parents live in a place like this and they have seen everything from the sneaky (keeping kids inside and not letting them out at all) to the flagrant, where the kids are outside yelling and in the pool when they shouldn't be ("oh but they aren't hurting anyone!") and just day visiting, only really g'ma is running a daycare for her many grandkids out of her condo. I also remember a case where grandparents became the guardians of their granddaughter after the parents died and YEARS LATER were still fighting their neighbors and HOA, claiming persecution and playing the emotional card. Everyone knows if you move in then have to raise your grandkids you must move out. Some people argued otherwise but they are straight up ignorant. It's simple, but apparently not to those who find themselves in the position. They don't want to do it so they don't.
 
Old 11-16-2013, 06:44 PM
 
6,659 posts, read 6,836,348 times
Reputation: 10048
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah View Post
I don't buy that. When he moved in, he was given the rules, I would bet on it. Everyone who moves into those types of places are. Why would he feel that he would need to be told that he was in violation of the very rules he agreed to abide by in order to be accepted by the community? Is he that irresponsible he couldn't figure that out for himself? Or did he feel he was the exception? And we have only his word that he did not receive notice. If he wanted a place where his granddaughter could visit for as long as he liked, why didn't he simply move to a place that allowed it?

I don't condone the vandalism at all. That was totally wrong. But someone might have been very frustrated with this man to have gone to this length of action to make a point. I wonder how the story got into the news to begin with. I think there is more to it than we are hearing about. This kind of reporting usually does not tell the entire story. Before drawing any conclusions, I would like to hear the HA's view as well as the neighbors' and any others involved.
If you live in a neighborhood with an HOA, they will notify you if you have been observed breaking the rules. That's also in the CC&R's you receive when you buy (and should receive when you rent).

He is saying he was not in violation of the rules. If his understanding is incorrect, would you not expect the HOA to tell him so? The reason we currently only have his word on this, says the article, is that the HOA has not responded to the reporter. Now, if the HOA comes back and says that yes, he was sent warnings/violation letters, etc., the story changes. But if the kid rule is unlimited day visits, and 30 days total overnights in a year's time, and the HOA confirms that he hasn't violated that ... then what? Do we still crap all over him for maybe being "irresponsible" or "an exception"? Or do we recognize that there are crappy people everywhere, and sometimes, when they can't get satisfaction within the rules, they will break them and vandalize other people's expensive property?
 
Old 11-16-2013, 06:46 PM
 
Location: between three Great Lakes.
1,758 posts, read 1,948,903 times
Reputation: 5911
Kid policy aside...

why does old fart own two cars?
 
Old 11-16-2013, 06:52 PM
 
24,503 posts, read 35,460,664 times
Reputation: 12835
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zenstyle View Post
Kid policy aside...

why does old fart own two cars?
Why not?
 
Old 11-16-2013, 07:00 PM
 
Location: Philaburbia
32,391 posts, read 59,880,407 times
Reputation: 54036
Quote:
Originally Posted by thinkalot View Post
People like myself that live in those places have many things to do and we don't want kids in the way. It's obvious you don't have a clue about this subject or these types of communities.
And this justifies vandalism ... how, exactly?

Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson View Post
my guess is that she plays in the back yard and that is what the neighbors' are unhappy about. Also, she may be playing in the street.
The horror!

Quote:
Maybe he needs to go and visit the kid at her house instead.
But why should he have to? If his grandchild is visiting within the parameters of his HOA, then there shouldn't be a problem.

Again, none of this justifies breaking the law, even if his granddaughter stayed overnight for 31 days last year. The man's car was vandalized. That is the issue.

Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
BTW It is likely that a 20 year old or a 25 year old may be having more late night guests, loud parties, drive faster, late night pizza deliveries, etc than most 55 plus senior citizens.
I think I'll move into a 55+ community (5 months to go!) and order pizza every night to go along with the late-night news, have guests over frequently, and arrange to have UPS and other deliveries every day. What fun that will be!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zenstyle View Post
Kid policy aside...

why does old fart own two cars?
Wow, you just won the prize for the most stupid comment in the thread. Congratulations.
 
Old 11-16-2013, 07:04 PM
 
Location: Western Colorado
11,096 posts, read 12,485,180 times
Reputation: 26132
I'm 62 and would never live in one of those retirement communities. Too many old cranky people.
 
Old 11-16-2013, 08:29 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
17,060 posts, read 17,382,869 times
Reputation: 41519
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
The rules of my in-law's 55 plus community stated that everyone who lived there must be 55 plus. Thus a 55 year old parent couldn't live there with their child who was not 55 years old. In the above situation the association was just as upset with the 30 or 35 year old daughter living there as with her three younger children.

Your 20 and 25 year old children were not 55 so they didn't qualify to live there. Some places do only have rules about non-adults (under 18) but many places do not distinguish between a 5 year old, a 20 year old or 40 year old child living in a 55 plus community.

BTW It is likely that a 20 year old or a 25 year old may be having more late night guests, loud parties, drive faster, late night pizza deliveries, etc than most 55 plus senior citizens. I'm NOT saying that your adult children would do that but I suspect that in general most early 20 year olds would have a much different social life that most senior citizens.
As you can see from my entire post, I was speculating why a 55 plus community might have rules against children of her daughters ages living with the owners.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohiogirl81 View Post
I think I'll move into a 55+ community (5 months to go!) and order pizza every night to go along with the late-night news, have guests over frequently, and arrange to have UPS and other deliveries every day. What fun that will be!
Please enjoy as many late night pizza deliveries and loud parties as you desire, but I suggest that you don't invite any children or other relatives under age 55 to live with you (unless it is allowed at that specific over 55 community).
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