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Old 06-21-2014, 03:58 PM
 
5,574 posts, read 5,533,769 times
Reputation: 16465

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Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute View Post
You would think that just hearing about the earlier cases, people would do whatever it takes to prevent this -- including leaving car windows down, putting the infant in the front seat -- something.
Leaving windows down isn't practical for a lot of people because of summer storms (who wants to return to a completely soaked interior?) And putting infants in the front seat is dangerous because of airbags.
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Old 06-21-2014, 04:39 PM
 
1,677 posts, read 1,966,625 times
Reputation: 5475
Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
Now, now...... that's just silly. If I didn't know you better, and know you didn't mean it this way...but ya almost sound like you're saying, "If you've never allowed yourself to ______, you suffer from a neurosis". Of course people don't think about their child every second of every minute of every hour, buuuuuut.... ?

Seriously, no one's judging all of the many people who "forget" their child once in a while...I mean, it happens! When we're talking HOURS, sometimes......OMG! I guess it's a good thing I didn't have quiet kids, eh? Although....if my children or grandchild get quiet, I'm generally checkin the rearview mirror and thinking, "Sh*t....I'm gonna have to either wake them up or carry them!" ...so still? Nah, they don't get forgotten. Good thing I've got active, talkative kids.
Of course no one thinks about their kid every second. But judging by some opinions, and maybe I'm the one taking it the wrong way, if you go to work and do your job without wondering about your kids or thinking of them, then you're careless and neglectful. Anybody can get caught up in their busy work day and hours will pass before they have a moment to think about ANYTHING. And if a parent believes their child is safely at daycare, there's no reason for them to worry.

Yep, having talkative, noisy kids helps! But if you did have a quiet, sleepy baby in the carseat, and a sudden change of plans caused you to be the one to drop off the baby instead of your husband, it's quite possible to drive on to work, spend eight hours doing your usual job, and yes, not stop to wonder about the baby because in your mind, he's at daycare where he should be. I never made it a habit to call dd's daycare and check on her unless there was some particular reason, so if I did make that mistake, it's possible that a full day would pass before I realized it. Thankfully, I also have a talker!
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Old 06-21-2014, 04:48 PM
 
Location: Western Washington
8,004 posts, read 9,651,862 times
Reputation: 19408
Hey, I think ALL of us can say, "There but for the grace of God go I". There are so many things that can go wrong. I mean....one time, 2 min of looking away...broken routine and in autopilot. Yes, we're all imperfect people in an imperfect world.

All I can do, when I hear these stories is get frustrated, but the horror that their caregivers will suffer with for the rest of their lives, OMG, horrendous. Maybe I'm wrong...but I would never be "okay" again.... How can I not imagine that any other parent who loved their child, would hurt in the same way? What a horrible, horrible thing to have embedded in your mind.....forever. OMG!
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Old 06-21-2014, 05:15 PM
 
1,677 posts, read 1,966,625 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beachmel View Post
Hey, I think ALL of us can say, "There but for the grace of God go I". There are so many things that can go wrong. I mean....one time, 2 min of looking away...broken routine and in autopilot. Yes, we're all imperfect people in an imperfect world.

All I can do, when I hear these stories is get frustrated, but the horror that their caregivers will suffer with for the rest of their lives, OMG, horrendous. Maybe I'm wrong...but I would never be "okay" again.... How can I not imagine that any other parent who loved their child, would hurt in the same way? What a horrible, horrible thing to have embedded in your mind.....forever. OMG!
Exactly! I can SO see myself making one absentminded error...and such an error could cause me to lose the child I love more than anything. I don't think I could bear it. And to add insult to injury, to hear a bunch of "How could you" and "I would NEVER..." These parents have to live with the fact that their child is dead because of their actions. I can't even begin to imagine the pain of that. Unless it's done deliberately and with malicious intent, I don't point fingers and proclaim what could NEVER happen to me.

I just thank goodness the days of the baby seat are over!
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Old 06-21-2014, 08:43 PM
 
Location: oHIo
613 posts, read 569,748 times
Reputation: 1305
Quote:
Originally Posted by Penga25 View Post
i read the article mentioned above and its long but worth the read, as a new parent (3 month old), i had a lump in my throat and a tear on a few occasions during the read. i cant imagine going through life knowing you killed your own child. as it seems from the article, these parents are in their own personal hell with no way out, when truly an accident, it doesn't seem that prison makes any sense
I don't have kids, and that article made me cry My niece has a 24 month old, I sent her the article. This kind of thing can obviously happen to anyone.

There but for the grace of God go I, indeed.
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Old 06-21-2014, 09:37 PM
 
398 posts, read 359,862 times
Reputation: 780
Parents need to be more engaged with their children, and not do things like this. Leaving the child with internet access is just as damaging.

Kids need to be kids. I see so many parents around today who are basically afraid to teach their children morals, values, and lessons.
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Old 06-21-2014, 10:09 PM
 
Location: La Mesa Aka The Table
7,183 posts, read 7,513,131 times
Reputation: 7974
Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofsilence82 View Post
Parents need to be more engaged with their children, and not do things like this. Leaving the child with internet access is just as damaging.

Kids need to be kids. I see so many parents around today who are basically afraid to teach their children morals, values, and lessons.
Exactly!
Why have kids if you're not going to make them a priority?
I put my kids before, Work, partying with friends, school ect....
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Old 06-21-2014, 10:17 PM
 
2,839 posts, read 4,754,848 times
Reputation: 3689
I just can't imagine, I'm 30 weeks pregnant now and things like this just TERRIFY me, that one day I'll "forget" my child. It can happen to ANY of us. We are all capable of this.

My MIL when my husband was a baby, put him on top of the car in his carseat, loaded up the car, then got into her car and turned it on, only when HER mom screamed at her she left the baby on top of the car did she realize...

I guess as a parent when we have a kid we'll have a "car checklist" of 'purse, keys, phone, empty car seat?"
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Old 06-22-2014, 02:17 AM
 
Location: USA
3,966 posts, read 9,150,540 times
Reputation: 2197
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnaNomus View Post
Anybody can get caught up in their busy work day and hours will pass before they have a moment to think about ANYTHING. And if a parent believes their child is safely at daycare, there's no reason for them to worry.
Does this man never look at his rear view mirror or make lane changes?
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Old 06-22-2014, 05:23 AM
 
Location: oHIo
613 posts, read 569,748 times
Reputation: 1305
Quote:
Originally Posted by beera View Post
I just can't imagine, I'm 30 weeks pregnant now and things like this just TERRIFY me, that one day I'll "forget" my child. It can happen to ANY of us. We are all capable of this.

My MIL when my husband was a baby, put him on top of the car in his carseat, loaded up the car, then got into her car and turned it on, only when HER mom screamed at her she left the baby on top of the car did she realize...

I guess as a parent when we have a kid we'll have a "car checklist" of 'purse, keys, phone, empty car seat?"
I recall reading an article in the 90's about a woman who had done the same thing, but she drove off

Thankfully, the baby was unharmed, a truck driver was driving down the same road, and noticed the car seat off to the side. Fortunately he checked his rear view mirror as he passed and saw the baby strapped in the seat. He stopped and drove the baby to the nearest police station, they were able to reunite the baby with it's family. I believe they did charge the poor woman with negligence, but this case at least had a happier outcome.
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