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Old 06-22-2014, 07:22 AM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,393 posts, read 29,736,370 times
Reputation: 14499

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Quote:
Originally Posted by bigjretrac View Post
I'm going to give you all the benefit of the doubt here, since I'm not a parent.

Personally, if something small disrupts my routine, I'm usually cognizant instead of going into to cruise control. BUT, I don't usually remember the first five minutes of when I wake up, so if the Mrs. had to leave for work early and asked me to take little junior to daycare, I would've said okay and honestly forgotten ten minutes later-- possibly leaving the baby at home accidentally.

Like I said, I still don't see how you could leave a baby in the car (wouldn't you see it when you got out the car?), but there's enough responses here to substantiate that this is a real thing. I liked the idea of leaving a bag under the carseat, so when I have kids, I'll be sure to put my messenger bag under the baby's car seat-- no sense in leaving it to chance.

ETA: As I think about it, fatigue may play a role in it. I remember one Monday morning accidentally driving towards church instead of work because I didn't get much sleep and had spent the weekend volunteering at some church activities and then had a big project coming up at work. I guess it just goes to show you the importance of taking care of yourself
I would speculate that there are more parents like me who for whatever reason were alerted to the baby in the car than there are parents who have buried their children because they left them in the car.

I don't understand how this happens but I know it does. It happened to me. The article states that this usually happens when the parent is stressed, fatigued and deviates from their normal routine. That's what was going on with me. I had been putting out fires at work while getting up for midnight feedings and day care drop off wasn't my normal routine. I can't explain why the brain replaces what happened with what usually happens but I know it does. I think it's the same thing that used to happen to me when I was working 60 hours a week and driving 45 miles to get to and from work. I cannot tell you how many times I arrived at work and didn't remember the commute at all or how many times I drove right past my exit and didn't realize it until I was several miles past my exit. If you read the article, it goes into the structure of the brain believed responsible for this. We do not process everything we see and contrary to your belief, you don't notice every little thing that's out of place. You notice some of them. It's like others never happened. Since you only remember the ones you noticed, from your perspective, you noticed them all however I will bet you dollars to donuts that you did not.
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Old 06-22-2014, 07:25 AM
 
Location: Vermont
5,439 posts, read 14,343,841 times
Reputation: 2609
a very very sad story. i am not sure if the guy deserves a murder sentence.

A while back a guy intentionally left his son in the car while he went to work. his childcare bailed on him i think and he was worried about losing his job. he brought him to a covered parking lot and put the windows down i think. the child died.

while i don't think that i would forget my own child... i know i have left my dog at someones house when we first had our child (my wife and i drove off with ourselves and our son, leaving the dog in the driveway!).

any time my wife asks me to do something outside of the normal routine of drop off for our child at pre-school, i will forget something (not our child, but whatever is outside the norm of the routine or perhaps something that is within the routine but it's like i only have the capacity for remembering to do X things and when you give me X+1, something has to give).
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Old 06-22-2014, 07:27 AM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,393 posts, read 29,736,370 times
Reputation: 14499
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ten Cat View Post
I don't have kids, and that article made me cry My niece has a 24 month old, I sent her the article. This kind of thing can obviously happen to anyone.

There but for the grace of God go I, indeed.
Everyone would like to think it can't happen to me. That I'm somehow better, smarter, more alert than everyone else but the truth is we're more alike than different. It can happen to anyone. Maybe we all need to make preventing this a priority. How many times do we walk through a parking lot and not look in the cars as we walk past. Could we save a child by being more observant of our surroundings?
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:13 AM
 
Location: Hyrule
8,401 posts, read 9,558,628 times
Reputation: 7421
Quote:
Originally Posted by YAZ View Post
Our own AZ guy just got sentenced to four years....different set of circumstances....



Arizona man sentenced to four years prison in baby's hot car death | Reuters
Ya, saw that this week. The guy went in and forgot about his son in the car while he smoked pot with his friends for 3 or 4 hours. You can't do that in Phoenix without killing your kids, it's just so hot it only takes an hour.
He only got 4 years? Wow, I wonder with all the prescription meds and now legal pot use how much more this will happen? It happens without it, substance use isn't going to help matters any.

I bet people are a bit less understanding of this guy though. It's hard for me to be. I can't imagine leaving a kid in the car but it happens an awful lot so I don't want to judge.
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:16 AM
 
Location: Hyrule
8,401 posts, read 9,558,628 times
Reputation: 7421
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
Everyone would like to think it can't happen to me. That I'm somehow better, smarter, more alert than everyone else but the truth is we're more alike than different. It can happen to anyone. Maybe we all need to make preventing this a priority. How many times do we walk through a parking lot and not look in the cars as we walk past. Could we save a child by being more observant of our surroundings?
They need to use an alarm that goes off if you don't remove the child from the seat once your door is open. I'm sure if they've not come up with this already they are working on it right now. I mean we strap them in like they're going to mars on the space shuttle, I'm sure eventually an alarm will be installed in these things.
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:17 AM
 
Location: Texas
42,283 posts, read 49,847,621 times
Reputation: 67136
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
Everyone would like to think it can't happen to me. That I'm somehow better, smarter, more alert than everyone else but the truth is we're more alike than different. It can happen to anyone. Maybe we all need to make preventing this a priority. How many times do we walk through a parking lot and not look in the cars as we walk past. Could we save a child by being more observant of our surroundings?
No.

I do know you can look away for only a second and your kid is in the pool or out in the street.

I get that.

Forgetting them in the car makes ZERO sense to me.

That being said, it should not be too hard to have a pressure sensor designed o alarm if your car is not running and someone is in the seat for more than a couple minutes.
We must find a work-around.
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:29 AM
 
Location: Holly Springs
3,861 posts, read 9,283,086 times
Reputation: 2995
Unless there is malicious intent, I cannot agree with murder, or any other charges with long-term prison sentences for this. What he will have to live with is more than enough punishment if this was truly accidental. If he did leave the kid in the car intentionally, I would certainly revisit my stance.
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:35 AM
 
Location: Texas
42,283 posts, read 49,847,621 times
Reputation: 67136
Quote:
Originally Posted by sacredgrooves View Post
Unless there is malicious intent, I cannot agree with murder, or any other charges with long-term prison sentences for this. What he will have to live with is more than enough punishment if this was truly accidental. If he did leave the kid in the car intentionally, I would certainly revisit my stance.
It is neglect. Negligent homicide.

No malice.
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:41 AM
 
Location: DC/NY
1,561 posts, read 2,141,845 times
Reputation: 1625
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
I would speculate that there are more parents like me who for whatever reason were alerted to the baby in the car than there are parents who have buried their children because they left them in the car.

I don't understand how this happens but I know it does. It happened to me. The article states that this usually happens when the parent is stressed, fatigued and deviates from their normal routine. That's what was going on with me. I had been putting out fires at work while getting up for midnight feedings and day care drop off wasn't my normal routine. I can't explain why the brain replaces what happened with what usually happens but I know it does. I think it's the same thing that used to happen to me when I was working 60 hours a week and driving 45 miles to get to and from work. I cannot tell you how many times I arrived at work and didn't remember the commute at all or how many times I drove right past my exit and didn't realize it until I was several miles past my exit. If you read the article, it goes into the structure of the brain believed responsible for this. We do not process everything we see and contrary to your belief, you don't notice every little thing that's out of place. You notice some of them. It's like others never happened. Since you only remember the ones you noticed, from your perspective, you noticed them all however I will bet you dollars to donuts that you did not.
Like I said, I'm giving y'all the benefit of the doubt, and in my response said that I plan on taking precautions when I have children.
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Old 06-22-2014, 09:53 AM
 
8,319 posts, read 8,599,004 times
Reputation: 25975
I accept that things like this sometimes happen. As a parent, I submit it could never have happened to me. I never spent a waking hour without the thought crossing my mind "Where is my child and is she/he safe?". I always knew where my kids were and I always knew that they were in a position of safety. My wife can tell you about all the times I called home from work during a day to inquire about one of our children.

I did not leave my children in a car by themselves. However, as an extra precaution, the windows in my car were almost always partially open. The noise while driving was a pain in the butt sometimes, but it was an added level of reassurance to me.

If something like this had ever happened while I was responsible for my child, I would probably have killed myself. Such is the level of responsibility that a parent bears for caring for a child in his/her custody and control. From a moral standpoint, something like this is really not excusable. Children in this age group are helpless people and a parent is the one almost totally in control of whether they survive or not.

As far as the criminal justice system goes, I'm satisfied to charge such parents with negligent homicide. Whether or not a parent goes to jail is fairly irrelevant to me. The value of such charges is that they get the attention of the community and cause other parents to discuss and think about this sort of problem. One hopes these stories prevent other similar occurrences. Perhaps, instead of being sent to jail, such parents could be required to go around and talk to various groups and discuss the dangers of leaving your child unattended in an automobile.

Last edited by markg91359; 06-22-2014 at 10:43 AM..
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