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My point is to stop blaming his wife for staying w him. This detracts from the actual act of physical abuse. Many people like her have a history of being abused and see it as acceptable behavior. We cannot see through her eyes.
If you don't think people can change then do why would you think it's so easy for HER to get out and get help? Sure it might be the logical thing to do from our end, but we are not her.
Abusive relationships can be a wicked cycle & they're complicated. Sure, some women get out of them immediately but many others don't. An abuser is very very good at manipulation & keep women tied to him. Unfortunately, people don't understand the complexities so instead they do as they always do, go straight towards blaming the victim. Those people are just as sick as the actual abuser.
I stopped watching the NFL. Just can't get into these guys thinking they are gods and can do whatever they want. They can run fast and hold a ball. Who cares? What gets me is all the kids watching these so-called heroes on TV every Sunday and look up to them. WOW! Just a bunch of showoffs dancing around. You can keep that crap. All sports are getting like that except maybe golf and somewhat tennis. Oh well, it is what it is. Americans seem to love it more than ever. I watch the NHL less these days as well, due to all the fights. It gets old seeing grown men fighting like pea-brains.
What I'm not understanding is why he is not in jail for assault.
Sorry, if it has been addressed already, maybe she will not press charges...
do you need to when you have this evidence?
He is a criminal...you do not do this in a civilized society...we have laws.
I'll keep up with the news...I don't have any interest in what his employers do...it
is what the police do that interests me.
This thread proves that the NFL, in all its sad and pathetic behavior, is just a reflection of society.
False Equivalency, Part I - 'But she hit him, too!'
Indeed, she did. And she should not have done so. But there is no comparison. He is twice her size. He is an athlete who has spent years turning his body into muscle mass and working on his dexterity and quickness. The kinetic energy behind his punches are many times greater than that behind hers. When someone at work throws today's morning report in your face, you don't beat them unconscious with a chair, then claim that the actions were equal. Unless you're idiotic and/or dishonest. And no one who isn't a fool or a liar tries to claim that there is any equivalency between what she did and what he did. Because there isn't.
False Equivalency, Part II - 'She shouldn't have stayed with him!'
Right. She should not have done so. But her actions were simply foolish (probably stemming from self-esteem issues) and naive (the 'I believe he can change' fantasy). They harmed no one else, and no one at all directly. His actions were malevolent and violent and directly harmed someone else. There is no comparison. Those who try and draw a comparison are clearly blaming the victim in an attempt to divert blame from the person who deserves all the blame. These people are either misogynists, or the usual pathetic 'mens rights' whiners who falsely see equality as some sort of zero-sum game that they're losing. They may well be ignorant enough to actually believe there is some sort of equivalency between the acts. But there isn't.
The NFL Enables This Sort Of Thing
The business model of the NFL is "Profit now, nothing else matters!". They are far less interested in nurturing the golden goose than they are of squeezing every last golden egg they can from it right now. And they would much rather bury, ignore and excuse harmful behavior when they can get away with it than deal with those problems. No one is more responsible than the person doing the hitting (in this case), but the NFL could do a lot more to prevent behavior like this. It doesn't, because its concern completely and totally ends where the negative publicity ends. The NFL isn't simply some company with employees - in the NFL, the employees are the product. Thus we have the jerseys and the trading cards and the embarrassingly juvenile grown men who will actually pay money for the signature of someone just because that someone can throw a ball well or does an entertaining dance after he tackles someone.
She married a thug and an abuser. Yes, I can say matter of fact that she is not intelligent.
No, you can't. Period.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ipaper
I have to agree with this, Ray Rice was 110% wrong in what he did and deserve his suspension. However, that wasn't very smart to go ahead and marry a guy who knocks you out cold then drags you off an elevator. I wouldn't care how much money he makes, you knocked me out and I'm going to still say I do. Nothing he could have tell me after that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tor_Nado
She wants to spend his money. Plain and simple. She accepts the fact that she'll get beat up from time to time so she can enjoy the finer things in life. Same reason why Dez Bryant's mother didn't press charges against him when he threw her down the stairs.
There are many people, women and men, who stay in abusive relationships, both mentally and physically abusive, who even marry their abusers after the abuse starts. I don't understand it, so can't even start to try to explain it, but I've personally known people who are very intelligent intellectually stay with abusers, for the sake of the children, or thinking that the abuser will change, that their love for the abuser will make things different. The statistics are staggering. Some 85% of domestic abuse victims are women, women are more likely to be killed by a male partner when they attempt to leave than when they stay, and those who leave successfully are still in danger from their abuser. People stay not only because the abuser is the bread winner or for the sake of the children, but because they are scared of what will happen if they try to leave.
I did, what of it? This is a public message board and my opinion is she is not very bright for staying with this thug. What I posted is on topic and there is no user violation.
I did, what of it? This is a public message board and my opinion is she is not very bright for staying with this thug. What I posted is on topic and there is no user violation.
Yes, you did say it, but you should understand that you were wrong because you made a statement as if it were fact instead of an opinion, when you don't actually know if the woman in question is intelligent, or if she is a battered woman who is afraid of her batterer.
Yeah, I can use the rolly eyes too, but I would rather try to get you, and people like you, to understand that you can't say something like that as if it were fact. Please stop marginalizing the victim here, and please stop trying to rationalize it when you don't have the FULL knowledge of this particular situation, or of why this type of pattern of abuse victim is widespread. Instead, try to be compassionate and try to grasp what is happening so that, as a society, we can work on reducing or eliminating domestic violence.
But then, it's just easier to say that she isn't intelligent than for you to change your mind, isn't it?
Overall, African Americans were victimized by intimate partners a significantly higher rates than persons of any other race. Black females experienced intimate partner violence at a rate 35% higher than that of white females, and about 22 times the rate of women of other races. Black males experienced intimate partner violence at a rate about 62% higher than that of white males and about 22 times the rate of men of other races.
Callie Marie Rennison. and Sarah Welchans, U.S. Dep't of Just., NCJ 178247, Intimate Partner Violence (2000), available at http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/bjs/pub/ascii/ipv.txt
Your link didn't work for me. This link should work.
Your percentages sound impressive to bolster your argument. The chart on page 33 of the document you referenced shows 24.8% white women experienced violence from a partner, vs 29.1% of African American women. I haven't read the whole section of the document pertaining to race yet, but I will later when I get a chance.
Yes, you did say it, but you should understand that you were wrong because you made a statement as if it were fact instead of an opinion, when you don't actually know if the woman in question is intelligent, or if she is a battered woman who is afraid of her batterer.
Yeah, I can use the rolly eyes too, but I would rather try to get you, and people like you, to understand that you can't say something like that as if it were fact. Please stop marginalizing the victim here, and please stop trying to rationalize it when you don't have the knowledge of this particular situation, or of why this type of pattern of abuse victim is widespread. Instead, try to be compassionate and try to grasp what is happening so that, as a society, we can work on reducing or eliminating domestic violence.
Silly and juvenile. You are going to get me? What are you in high school?
To dumb this down for you the "roll eyes" was me stating the obvious.
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