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Based on my own experience it may be that they grew up watching people go through bad marriages. If people are adulterous and do not love and respect one another, it may be better to get divorced. In addition, some women in the old days married someone so they could make a living, because employment options were limited.
Getting married to a man with a job was the only way for many women to afford a home and comfortable retirement. So some of them put up with a lot for money, unless the man left them for another woman it seems. Now there is a better chance that a woman can make a living and have a retirement etc. even if she is not married, so there is less incentive for them to stay in a bad marriage.
IMO a bigger question is why so many of us end up in relationships with unsuitable partners. That's one for the ages.
yea and in the good old days, wealthy people stayed married but most carried on dalliances on the side and no one batted an eye.
And yes, why end up with unsuitable partners? Religion stresses the staying married thing and again how many of those marriages have ended in scandal? Even priests can't keep it in their pants. Might as well admit that we are just lustful animals - lol
I don't think most of us know ourselves, who we are, until around 30. Lust dominates in early marriage. Friendship, shared life goals, and lust share importance in later, successful marriages.
Not being shamed or otherwise expected to stick with something that is obviously not working. Having the education, legal and financial resources and protections to leave a bad situation if needed.
True, and people change so much from 20-30. Besides, not everyone is made for marriage. Why in our society is it expected that all people will find bliss in marriage is beyond me: Some people are just plain toxic: I know so many A-hols that should never have gotten married. Some like being single, amd some are just picky and will never find someone to match them.
One of the best pieces of advice my father ever gave me was not to get married in my 20's. because you are a completely different person by the time you turn 30, and he was correct.
This, 100 times over. Like many women, in my early 20's I'd have married just about any nice guy who asked. I lucked out and found a good one, but we also played it safe with a relatively long engagement and put off having kids. We're stilling going strong 15 years later, and are indeed completely different people than we were at 22... but I think we expected that we would be change, so it wasn't a big shock or disappointment.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4
Bc verrrry few people in their 20s know themselves well enough or have enough judgment to choose well.
I got married at 23, which might be on the younger side of average in San Francisco (though probably very late by say, Texas standards).
Regardless of my age, I truly believe most conflicts can be worked out.
There are only 3 situations in which I would divorce (and in these situations, I would immediately walk out right then and there. There would be no compromises, no second chances, no delay. I would pack my bags that minute, and he would only ever see me again in court).
- any type of infidelity
- domestic violence
- if he clearly stated that he doesn't want to be married anymore and doesn't love me anymore
Anything else can and should be worked out IMO. When it comes down to it, I see marriage as us as partners in crime for life!
I got married at 23, which might be on the younger side of average in San Francisco (though probably very late by say, Texas standards)
What a strange thing to say. Actually, according to Pew Research, the average age of first marriage for females is 25.7 in Texas and 27.3 in California.
"The Median Age of Marriage in Every State in the U.S., in Two Maps"
By Eileen Shim June 27, 2014
Last edited by texan2yankee; 12-21-2014 at 02:14 PM..
Reason: Add reference source
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: Some people are just plain toxic: I know so many A-hols that should never have gotten married. Some like being single, amd some are just picky and will never find someone to match them.
