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Old 01-25-2015, 02:14 AM
 
Location: Old Mother Idaho
19,663 posts, read 13,242,240 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
there's a difference between physical violence and some person calling you a racial insult/
Words hurt just as much as physical blows. Not not believe otherwise!
Words also stay with a bullied person far longer than the pain of a physical attack does. The body forgets pain when it heals, but the mind never does.

There may be differences, but the differences are all degrees of bad. Never degrees of good. No person ever deserves to be bullied for what color they are or who they are.
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Old 01-25-2015, 02:57 AM
 
11,457 posts, read 6,566,062 times
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1. Boys didn't even know the girl. Does the father expect his daughter to never hear the N-word? How does that make it "double bad"?

2. Boys father may have racist thoughts/jokesfeelings. Is being racist/telling racist jokes illegal?

3. Dad with feelings hurt said that multiple times he said things to the boy's father that he couldn't repeat and hung up on him twice.

GROW UP AMERICA. Stop getting butt-hurt and running to social media. All parties involved seem like their having a middle school spat.
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Old 01-25-2015, 06:41 AM
 
4,749 posts, read 3,491,652 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
there's a difference between physical violence and some person calling you a racial insult/
More often than not, verbal abuse lays the foundation for more extreme forms of abuse later.

At any rate, I find it disturbing that some are apparently defending abuse on the one hand, but I'm amused at the rationale on the other. It seems you're saying that those who are bullied should just accept it, but why? Why should bullies be free of consequences? Looks like in this case, the people being bullied used their intelligence to defeat the bullies, knowing that the larger public would find the behavior disgusting. The bullies picked the battle, but the bullied picked the battlefield -- and won.

If you can't accept losing, then don't pick a fight.
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Old 01-25-2015, 06:50 AM
 
4,749 posts, read 3,491,652 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiehaskell View Post
1. Boys didn't even know the girl. Does the father expect his daughter to never hear the N-word? How does that make it "double bad"?

2. Boys father may have racist thoughts/jokesfeelings. Is being racist/telling racist jokes illegal?

3. Dad with feelings hurt said that multiple times he said things to the boy's father that he couldn't repeat and hung up on him twice.

GROW UP AMERICA. Stop getting butt-hurt and running to social media. All parties involved seem like their having a middle school spat.
1. No, but the dad isn't going to tolerate antisocial behavior toward his daughter.

2. No, but legality isn't the issue here; it's inappropriate, and people don't have to just sit there and take it.

3. ???

Yeah, anyway, looks like this is a case where the ones doing the bullying were exposed and now they can't accept the consequences of people judging them for their behavior. Looks like a bunch of intellectual lightweights who have nothing better to do than to be ogres toward others got outsmarted their intended victims who used the power of social media to bring their character to light. As I said, the bullies started the war, but the ones being bullied chose the battlefield in which it would be fought. The 'victims', with their superior intelligence, won the war. They need to accept defeat.

And oh yeah, maybe they shouldn't go around being a bunch of d-bags to others.
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Old 01-25-2015, 07:02 AM
 
11,457 posts, read 6,566,062 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chickenfriedbananas View Post
1. No, but the dad isn't going to tolerate antisocial behavior toward his daughter.

2. No, but legality isn't the issue here; it's inappropriate, and people don't have to just sit there and take it.

3. ???

Yeah, anyway, looks like this is a case where the ones doing the bullying were exposed and now they can't accept the consequences of people judging them for their behavior. Looks like a bunch of intellectual lightweights who have nothing better to do than to be ogres toward others got outsmarted their intended victims who used the power of social media to bring their character to light. As I said, the bullies started the war, but the ones being bullied chose the battlefield in which it would be fought. The 'victims', with their superior intelligence, won the war. They need to accept defeat.

And oh yeah, maybe they shouldn't go around being a bunch of d-bags to others.
1. Dad has a never ending fight ahead of him. Kids and adults will a some point say nasty things for the rest of one's life regardless of race. It's called life and more often than not - there's nothing you can do about it. My suggestion is for dad to pull the internet because there is far worse out there. Heaven forbid the girl ever goes to unmoderated forums/comment sections...dad will shat his pants.

2. Dad didn't just take it. He talked to the guy on the phone, supposedly cursed at him and hung up on him. Why keep poking someone that doesn't agree with you unless they're putting you in harm?

3. Dad stooped to the same level as the "N word" using dad when he cursed(?) him out, but cried to social media when he didn't get the reply he wanted.

I don't know if anyone won or was defeated here. That's middle school talk. Both parties lost their cool and lost their civility. Yes, one dad got the other fired, but did he really accomplish anything other than a little fodder for folks on the net to talk about? The likely outcome is just further anger for one party and life as usual for the other. I'm not sure if the girl will be teased over the situation blowing up as it did. As a kid, I always prayed that my parents wouldn't try to step in and fight any part of my battles.

Last edited by eddiehaskell; 01-25-2015 at 07:11 AM..
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Old 01-25-2015, 07:54 AM
 
Location: Type 0.7 Kardashev
10,577 posts, read 6,914,947 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
did he go to far? I mean kids get bullied all the time, especially if they aren't white. it's kind of an accepted part of life. I'm a mixed race child, and I was bullied at times. I certainly wouldn't have told my parents or had my parents confront anyone (not that they would, they would have told me to sucked it up).
Any adult who thinks bullying is something one should just accept is a fool. Anyone who just accepts the bullying of their child is practicing bad and neglectful parenting.

And something is seriously wrong with those posters who demand that the targets of racist bullying 'just take it', but think it's unfair that those who are doing the racist bullying can't count on their victims to keep their racist bullying secret when the racist bullies intentionally recorded their racist bullying on the victims' devices. Why don't they likewise demand that the racist bullies 'just take it'?

Because it's obvious where their sympathies actually lie. That's why.
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Old 01-25-2015, 08:09 AM
 
11,457 posts, read 6,566,062 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unsettomati View Post
Any adult who thinks bullying is something one should just accept is a fool. Anyone who just accepts the bullying of their child is practicing bad and neglectful parenting.
I believe one has to have some sort of standard to define bullying. If someone calls me a name on the internet - is that bullying? If someone gets mad at me in traffic and yells an insult - is that bullying? If someone gives me the middle finger in the grocery store - is that bullying? If I call my neighbor to complain about how he drives down the street and he says **** off you *$&$*$# - is that bullying?
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Old 01-25-2015, 08:14 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
5,431 posts, read 9,628,135 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiehaskell View Post
I believe one has to have some sort of standard to define bullying. If someone calls me a name on the internet - is that bullying? If someone gets mad at me in traffic and yells an insult - is that bullying? If someone gives me the middle finger in the grocery store - is that bullying? If I call my neighbor to complain about how he drives down the street and he says **** off you *$&$*$# - is that bullying?
One authority on bullying (Olweus) defines it as "Bullying is when someone repeatedly and on purpose says or does mean or hurtful things to another person who has a hard time defending himself or herself." So the answer to your questions is no.

And telling racist jokes is not illegal of course, but then nobody has been arrested here. Free speech doesn't mean you are free of the consequences of your speech from other citizens.
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Old 01-25-2015, 08:29 AM
 
11,457 posts, read 6,566,062 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maf763 View Post
One authority on bullying (Olweus) defines it as "Bullying is when someone repeatedly and on purpose says or does mean or hurtful things to another person who has a hard time defending himself or herself." So the answer to your questions is no.
Makes sense. Seems like a few isolated incidences lead to overreaction and everything being labeled bullying.

Quote:
And telling racist jokes is not illegal of course, but then nobody has been arrested here. Free speech doesn't mean you are free of the consequences of your speech from other citizens.
I agree - social media gives and takes.
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Old 01-25-2015, 08:35 AM
 
4,749 posts, read 3,491,652 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiehaskell View Post
1. Dad has a never ending fight ahead of him. Kids and adults will a some point say nasty things for the rest of one's life regardless of race. It's called life and more often than not - there's nothing you can do about it. My suggestion is for dad to pull the internet because there is far worse out there. Heaven forbid the girl ever goes to unmoderated forums/comment sections...dad will shat his pants.

2. Dad didn't just take it. He talked to the guy on the phone, supposedly cursed at him and hung up on him. Why keep poking someone that doesn't agree with you unless they're putting you in harm?

3. Dad stooped to the same level as the "N word" using dad when he cursed(?) him out, but cried to social media when he didn't get the reply he wanted.

I don't know if anyone won or was defeated here. That's middle school talk. Both parties lost their cool and lost their civility. Yes, one dad got the other fired, but did he really accomplish anything other than a little fodder for folks on the net to talk about? The likely outcome is just further anger for one party and life as usual for the other. I'm not sure if the girl will be teased over the situation blowing up as it did. As a kid, I always prayed that my parents wouldn't try to step in and fight any part of my battles.
Whenever the subject of bullying is brought up, there seems to be a divide between the old school mentality that seems to just content with accepting it as a rite of passage and more nuanced, progressive, enlightened patterns of thought which questions that notion. It reminds me of how people used to behave on the subject of gays back in the 1980s or 90s.

I absolutely agree that parents need to teach their children to be strong, but the assumption is that parents of bullied children don't attempt to do that. In many cases, parents do teach their children to be proud, to value themselves and so forth, and the bullying just doesn't seem to stop. It goes overboard and continues because the bullies are encouraged to continue their behavior. Whether the dad insulated his child from bullying in this case isn't really the point. The point is, the more that bullies and the people who support bullies are exposed like this, the more it might make some bullies think about their behavior.

In this case, it wasn't just the bullies who got exposed; it was their culture of bullying that everyone reacted to. It was a culture that involved their parents, and the parents got exposed. And paid a price for it - as they should have.
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