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Old 01-25-2015, 08:37 AM
 
4,749 posts, read 3,478,743 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiehaskell View Post
I believe one has to have some sort of standard to define bullying. If someone calls me a name on the internet - is that bullying? If someone gets mad at me in traffic and yells an insult - is that bullying? If someone gives me the middle finger in the grocery store - is that bullying? If I call my neighbor to complain about how he drives down the street and he says **** off you *$&$*$# - is that bullying?
Bullying in the classic sense involves repetitive taunting and tormenting of a victim who is unable to escape the abusive environment. It's like domestic violence in that sense.

What you're describing in these scenarios isn't bullying. It's inappropriate behavior, but you can escape it. A bully at school, at work, or in a schoolyard is taking advantage of someone who he assumes to have some sort of power over, and he does it in an environment in which the behavior is repetitive. It's a type of relationship that forms in which one is predator and the other is prey.

The father in the video basically wanted to change the dynamics in that relationship by exposing the parent who obviously endorsed that abuse. What the bully's father found out is, he's not free from consequences. He has to live with his own behavior. Maybe the guy who fired him had been abused or had a child who'd been abused. Or maybe he just felt he wasn't cool being around someone like that. Who knows, who cares.

In any case, all is not lost. It's an opportunity for these people to become better people - if they choose to be.

Last edited by chickenfriedbananas; 01-25-2015 at 08:45 AM..
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Old 01-25-2015, 08:53 AM
 
11,436 posts, read 6,509,554 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chickenfriedbananas View Post
Bullying in the classic sense involves repetitive taunting and tormenting of a victim who is unable to escape the abusive environment. It's like domestic violence in that sense.

What you're describing in these scenarios isn't bullying. It's inappropriate behavior, but you can escape it. A bully at school, at work, or in a schoolyard is taking advantage of someone who he assumes to have some sort of power over, and he does it in an environment in which the behavior is repetitive. It's a type of relationship that forms in which one is predator and the other is prey.

The father in the video basically wanted to change the dynamics in that relationship by exposing the parent who obviously endorsed that abuse. What the bully's father found out is, he's not free from consequences. He has to live with his own behavior. Maybe the guy who fired him had been abused or had a child who'd been abused. Or maybe he just felt he wasn't cool being around someone like that. Who knows, who cares.

In any case, all is not lost. It's an opportunity for these people to become better people - if they choose to be.
So therefore, I don't believe this case adds up to bullying and definitely not abuse. It's simply a case of someone saying something that another person doesn't like. I don't understand the labels of "bullying" and "abuse" when in this case it doesn't meet your definition.
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Old 01-25-2015, 09:07 AM
 
4,749 posts, read 3,478,743 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiehaskell View Post
So therefore, I don't believe this case adds up to bullying and definitely not abuse. It's simply a case of someone saying something that another person doesn't like. I don't understand the labels of "bullying" and "abuse" when in this case it doesn't meet your definition.
I don't really care -- you can believe what you want.

Doesn't change the outcome in this case, does it? Dude got canned.
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Old 01-25-2015, 09:10 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chickenfriedbananas View Post
I don't really care -- you can believe what you want.

Doesn't change the outcome in this case, does it? Dude got canned.
That sort of attitude certainly doesn't leave much room for discussion.
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Old 01-25-2015, 10:03 AM
 
24,007 posts, read 31,258,887 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stellastar2345 View Post
there's a difference between physical violence and some person calling you a racial insult/
Not sure what your point is. I was responding to your post that stated that bullying was somewhat accepted. It is NOT, and should not ever be.

Last edited by ChessieMom; 01-25-2015 at 10:22 AM..
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Old 01-25-2015, 10:06 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chickenfriedbananas View Post
Whenever the subject of bullying is brought up, there seems to be a divide between the old school mentality that seems to just content with accepting it as a rite of passage and more nuanced, progressive, enlightened patterns of thought which questions that notion. It reminds me of how people used to behave on the subject of gays back in the 1980s or 90s.

I absolutely agree that parents need to teach their children to be strong, but the assumption is that parents of bullied children don't attempt to do that. In many cases, parents do teach their children to be proud, to value themselves and so forth, and the bullying just doesn't seem to stop. It goes overboard and continues because the bullies are encouraged to continue their behavior. Whether the dad insulated his child from bullying in this case isn't really the point. The point is, the more that bullies and the people who support bullies are exposed like this, the more it might make some bullies think about their behavior.

In this case, it wasn't just the bullies who got exposed; it was their culture of bullying that everyone reacted to. It was a culture that involved their parents, and the parents got exposed. And paid a price for it - as they should have.
My situation occurred many MANY years ago, so no, it was not accepted by everyone. My parents were very in tune with children and appropriate behavior. Bullying was simply NOT tolerated. Ever.
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Old 01-25-2015, 10:29 AM
 
24,007 posts, read 31,258,887 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiehaskell View Post
So therefore, I don't believe this case adds up to bullying and definitely not abuse. It's simply a case of someone saying something that another person doesn't like. I don't understand the labels of "bullying" and "abuse" when in this case it doesn't meet your definition.
It's certainly not abuse, but it is definitely harrassment, and I think it may even cross the line into bullying. It would be interesting to see the legal perspective of it.

This is from bullying.gov.


Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Both kids who are bullied and who bully others may have serious, lasting problems.

In order to be considered bullying, the behavior must be aggressive and include:

An Imbalance of Power: Kids who bully use their power—such as physical strength, access to embarrassing information, or popularity—to control or harm others. Power imbalances can change over time and in different situations, even if they involve the same people.
Repetition: Bullying behaviors happen more than once or have the potential to happen more than once.

Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.

There are three types of bullying:

Verbal bullying is saying or writing mean things. Verbal bullying includes:
Teasing
Name-calling
Inappropriate sexual comments
Taunting
Threatening to cause harm
Social bullying, sometimes referred to as relational bullying, involves hurting someone’s reputation or relationships. Social bullying includes:
Leaving someone out on purpose
Telling other children not to be friends with someone
Spreading rumors about someone
Embarrassing someone in public
Physical bullying involves hurting a person’s body or possessions. Physical bullying includes:
Hitting/kicking/pinching
Spitting
Tripping/pushing
Taking or breaking someone’s things
Making mean or rude hand gestures


So, is it bullying? Or is it harrassment? Either way, it was WRONG, and the father was right to take action. Personally, I would have called the school as well.

What is Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place using electronic technology. Electronic technology includes devices and equipment such as cell phones, computers, and tablets as well as communication tools including social media sites, text messages, chat, and websites.

Why Cyberbullying is Different

Kids who are being cyberbullied are often bullied in person as well. Additionally, kids who are cyberbullied have a harder time getting away from the behavior.

Cyberbullying can happen 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and reach a kid even when he or she is alone. It can happen any time of the day or night.
Cyberbullying messages and images can be posted anonymously and distributed quickly to a very wide audience. It can be difficult and sometimes impossible to trace the source.
Deleting inappropriate or harassing messages, texts, and pictures is extremely difficult after they have been posted or sent.


Federal Laws

Although no federal law directly addresses bullying, in some cases, bullying overlaps with discriminatory harassment when it is based on race, national origin, color, sex, age, disability, or religion. When bullying and harassment overlap, federally-funded schools (including colleges and universities) have an obligation to resolve the harassment. When the situation is not adequately resolved, the U.S. Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights and the U.S. Department of Justice’s Civil Rights Division may be able to help.
Are there federal laws that apply to bullying?

At present, no federal law directly addresses bullying. In some cases, bullying overlaps with discriminatory harassment which is covered under federal civil rights laws enforced by the U.S. Department of Education (ED) and the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ). No matter what label is used (e.g., bullying, hazing, teasing), schools are obligated by these laws to address conduct that is:

Severe, pervasive or persistent
Creates a hostile environment at school. That is, it is sufficiently serious that it interferes with or limits a student’s ability to participate in or benefit from the services, activities, or opportunities offered by a school
Based on a student’s race, color, national origin, sex, disability, or religion*
Although the US Department of Education, under Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 does not directly cover religion, often religious based harassment is based on shared ancestry of ethnic characteristics which is covered. The US Department of Justice has jurisdiction over religion under Title IV of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Examples of cyberbullying include mean text messages or emails, rumors sent by email or posted on social networking sites, and embarrassing pictures, videos, websites, or fake profiles.
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Old 01-25-2015, 10:37 AM
 
Location: 500 miles from home
27,496 posts, read 15,182,285 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chickenfriedbananas View Post
You're free to handle it or not handle it however you wish. The father has that same right. He was protecting his child. If I'm understanding it correctly, the father of the bullies left voice mails for the father of the girl being bullied that were beyond the pale.

Assuming that's what really happened, all I can say is:

a) What kind of idiot would leave a recording like that in this day and age and not expect consequences?

b) I have no sympathy for a bigot.
I agree that one would have to be particularly stupid to leave a recording like that. I'm guessing the apples didn't fall too far from the tree either.

Actions have consequences.

Quote:
Originally Posted by eddiehaskell View Post
1. Boys didn't even know the girl. Does the father expect his daughter to never hear the N-word? How does that make it "double bad"?

2. Boys father may have racist thoughts/jokesfeelings. Is being racist/telling racist jokes illegal?

3. Dad with feelings hurt said that multiple times he said things to the boy's father that he couldn't repeat and hung up on him twice.

GROW UP AMERICA. Stop getting butt-hurt and running to social media. All parties involved seem like their having a middle school spat.
Oh, I'd say the boy's father certainly does have racist feelings. And he just happens to be dumb enough to record them. Who said it was illegal?

Is it not up to the almighty job creator to fire who and when they choose? Free market and all? Right to work and all?

I'm not understanding why conservatives have a problem with this man losing his job.
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Old 01-25-2015, 10:49 AM
 
11,436 posts, read 6,509,554 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom View Post
It's certainly not abuse, but it is definitely harrassment, and I think it may even cross the line into bullying. It would be interesting to see the legal perspective of it.
If we define bullying so loosely as to include every mean word said to someone, we could even find thousands of examples of bullying here on CityData. I've personally been "bullied" thousands of times on forums and comment sections around the web.



Quote:
So, is it bullying? Or is it harrassment? Either way, it was WRONG, and the father was right to take action. Personally, I would have called the school as well.
Calling someone you don't even know a name is bullying or harassment? That seems like a disservice to everyone that goes through actual bullying or harassment.


Like I said, if you never want to be called a name, skip childhood and become a hermit on some abandoned island.
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Old 01-25-2015, 10:53 AM
 
11,436 posts, read 6,509,554 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ringo1 View Post
Oh, I'd say the boy's father certainly does have racist feelings. And he just happens to be dumb enough to record them. Who said it was illegal?

Is it not up to the almighty job creator to fire who and when they choose? Free market and all? Right to work and all?

I'm not understanding why conservatives have a problem with this man losing his job.
Why are you pigeonholing my views and labeling me a conservative without knowing anything about my political views. I feel like you are bullying me.

And I don't care about who loses their job - I just think people are quick to run to social media to get some sort of revenge when people don't say the things they want to hear.
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