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There's no need to say "thank you for your service". Just treat the vet like a normal everyday citizen. The "thank you for your service" is like "I'm sorry we treated veterans like crap for more than a decade since Vietnam". Just don't treat veterans the way some treated Vietnam vets back in the 60s, 70s, & 80s. Also, some vets have a survivor's guilt complex. They were lucky to make it home alive while their buddies didn't. Thanking them can cut like a knife in their gut.
Here's my personal experience. I served 8 years in the Navy and served in Desert Shield and Bosnia. What did I personally do in the Navy? I worked in the engine room of a steam driven Navy ship. I kept the engines, generators, and water distilling plant running. While not as dangerous as being on the ground in combat, we did have ten sailors killed in a steam leak in the fire room (aka boiler room). This was the USS Iwo Jima LPH-2 and it happened in October 1990. On the same ship in 1992 there was an accident on the flight deck and a sailor who was a few years away from retiring was killed. Some who served on the ship cut hair, cooked food, ran the ship's store, operated the ship's laundry, or filed paperwork. You thanking us for our service can make some of us feel bad or uncomfortable. You're thanking us as if we served some Hollywood movie version of military service and yet we feel we just did a dull boring job. There were some things we did that were dangerous or involved combat (getting the ship to a location for an operation), but these were brief moments. Vast majority of our time was very dull boring routine interrupted by periods of fire fighting drills and other operational drills on the ship. If you meet a firefighter, do you thank them for their service or do you thank them when they've rescued you, your family, and or your friends/neighbors? It's easy to accept a thank you for doing a particular service. Why are you thanking me? What did I do for you? Do you know what I did in the military? For all you know, I could have been the biggest jerk and a worthless dirtbag of a soldier/sailor/airman/marine. Thanks for what,...not getting killed? I directly help people all the time on my job at the hospital. People thank me for fixing their AC, fixing their bed, getting them out of elevators, helping them find their way around the hospital, and doing other things. But thanking me for my service in the Navy feels hollow.
Re: The people who are saying "it was their own choice to serve" - yeah, and the majority of them were barely out of high school when they enlisted. (Not talking about career officers etc.) You read all the time about celebrities or even just local young people who mess up in life, DUI's and whatnot, are "just kids" and "didn't know any better" and "they'll grow up, eventually." Hell, most people think that an 18 year old getting married is committing a huge mistake, they don't know what they're getting into, etc. How do these same people then turn around and think that impressionable, typically low-income teens who are being pursued by recruiters and sign-on bonuses (I know it's not quite like that now, but recently that was the case) should be held accountable to a different standard? I know plenty of people who went to college without the slightest idea about what it would be like, and either partied and ignored their classes, changed majors, transferred, dropped out, moved back home... things you can't do once you sign on to the military. I'm not saying all service members should be idolized, but the argument of "well, they CHOSE to do it" annoys me. It's not like you can just change your mind once you get there and realize you're in a crappy situation that maybe isn't quite as glamorous as you thought it'd be.
Disagree!!!
What about the teenage girl who chooses to have sex and becomes pregnant?? No matter how she follows through (abortion, adoption, or keeping the baby) her life is changed forever.
As children we make choices that affect us our whole lives- who cares if someone was only 18 when they joined the military? Age is irrelevant.
A child chooses to experiment with drugs and ruins their life.
A teen drives drunk and kills someone.
Anyone who joins the military is aware of the commitment and possibility of war. NO SYMPATHY FROM ME.
We ALL make choices throughout our lives and we have to live with the choices we make. It's part of GROWING UP. I have made many choices I've regretted. Life goes on.
What about the teenage girl who chooses to have sex and becomes pregnant?? No matter how she follows through (abortion, adoption, or keeping the baby) her life is changed forever.
As children we make choices that affect us our whole lives- who cares if someone was only 18 when they joined the military? Age is irrelevant.
A child chooses to experiment with drugs and ruins their life.
A teen drives drunk and kills someone.
Anyone who joins the military is aware of the commitment and possibility of war. NO SYMPATHY FROM ME.
We ALL make choices throughout our lives and we have to live with the choices we make. It's part of GROWING UP. I have made many choices I've regretted. Life goes on.
Just so you know - I doubt very seriously that ANY veteran is looking for sympathy or adulation from you.
What about the teenage girl who chooses to have sex and becomes pregnant?? No matter how she follows through (abortion, adoption, or keeping the baby) her life is changed forever.
As children we make choices that affect us our whole lives- who cares if someone was only 18 when they joined the military? Age is irrelevant.
A child chooses to experiment with drugs and ruins their life.
A teen drives drunk and kills someone.
Anyone who joins the military is aware of the commitment and possibility of war. NO SYMPATHY FROM ME.
We ALL make choices throughout our lives and we have to live with the choices we make. It's part of GROWING UP. I have made many choices I've regretted. Life goes on.
I am a veteran, and I certainly don't want your sympathy or your thanks. I chose to serve my country and I am not looking for anything for doing what I felt like I needed to do. BTW I am sure all of the others feel the same way.
There's no need to say "thank you for your service". Just treat the vet like a normal everyday citizen. The "thank you for your service" is like "I'm sorry we treated veterans like crap for more than a decade since Vietnam". Just don't treat veterans the way some treated Vietnam vets back in the 60s, 70s, & 80s. Also, some vets have a survivor's guilt complex. They were lucky to make it home alive while their buddies didn't. Thanking them can cut like a knife in their gut.
Adding my Amen as well.
I have a great deal of respect for people who do the type of work that can sometimes be dangerous, or even life threatening. Law enforcement officers, firefighters, EMT's & rescue personnel, etc., come to mind. But I don't feel the need to 'thank them' for doing the job they do until it benefits me personally. I think the same applies to the military and combat veterans. Having respect for what they've done doesn't require a thank you. Myself and most veterans I know don't feel like we did anything special that warrants attention, and being thanked for your service is uncomfortable because you don't feel like you deserve it.
Seeing how things have turned out in the last two major theatres of operation can you really blame the guy for maybe feeling a little bitterness? Maybe instead of trying to appear more patriotic-than-thou throughout the past decade and a half might we have been better off paying attention to what was actually happening on the ground? Maybe he feels his service was futile and doesn't want to constantly be reminded of it.
Just read an article on MSN about a vet that is offended when people tell him "thanks for your service."
Claims it is empty, thoughtless because anyone who wasn't there doesn't understand, etc.
I say- don't be offended by people who didn't share in that experience. He VOLUNTEERED; it was his choice.
It even says within military groups some militants make fun of the phrase with each other.
Cripes! What the h***do they want us to say to them?? Nothing??
Think of the Vietnam vets- I'm sure they would have loved to hear people thank them for their service.
I am a VietNam vet, and I agree, I would rather not hear a "thank you". I also think it is most often an empty, meaningless statement, made because the current PC climate makes it somehow mandatory.
I am also a military retiree. The only "thank you" that I want for all those years of service is for the Government to KEEP those promises that their representatives made back in 1959 when I first enlisted, and at every re-enlistment briefing.
No, those promises were not in writing, because they were supposedly codified in laws and regulations, and didn't need to be part of the enlistment contract.
Yeah, right.
Actually, those of us from Montana DID get a meaningful "thank you" from our state after Vietnam: A Vietnam service bonus. Mine was, IIRC, $700. I REALLY appreciated that!
I can see why some people might find it irritating, 'thanks for your service' could come across as throw away, trite or patronizing. Or, who are you to thank me? ... you're not my senior officer and you've got no conception of what it was like. Sometimes silence is ok too.
I agree.
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