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So -- a fireman who is injured trying to save your house when it's struck by lightening doesn't require a "thank you" because "it's just his job."?
A policeman who works to recover your stolen car doesn't deserve a "thank you" because "it's just his job"?
A lifeguard who dives into the ocean to rescue your child who got caught by a riptide doesn't deserve a "thank you" because "it's just his job"?
A simple thank you to a serviceman or woman is an acknowledgement that they are doing an often difficult job under unpleasant and dangerous circumstances. The fact that they are trained to do it doesn't negate the kindness of a "thank you". Heck, I tell my server in a restaurant "thank you" when he brings me my drink. Why wouldn't I thank a person who put himself in harm's way for my country? Thanking someone doesn't make them "special" -- it's a human-to-human expression of thanks and appreciation.
Which is exactly what I meant in my original post. But this vet is too busy feeling sorry for himself to appreciate it.
The fact is, many of his fellow Americans gladly sent him off to war for no reason and shouted the rest of us down who questioned it and argued against it and now his and many other soldiers lives are in tatters. I never blame soldiers for wars and only expect them to serve honorably, but it is the job of American politicians and their constituents (us voters) to make sure that we don't just go to war for made up reasons that hurt our soldiers (who are sons and daughters, fathers and mothers). Then we thank them for going instead of us so that we could have our cushy jobs and make lots of money and buy houses and cars while they now have mental issues. Anyone who was around for the weapons of mass destruction bs and all the gung-ho Americans who were ready to fight (not them of course) know what I mean. War is not a football game.
But he voluntarily joined the service. He knew it could lead to war, and we're all aware of the devastating pyschological impact that can have. Yet, he still chose to volounteer.
So stop crying about it. There is all kinds of trauma in the world. He is no more special than others.
But, it's turned into this big...thing...this thing that's not sincere and quite obligatory.
It's called MANNERS. We say thank you to those who provide a service, and they say.....YOUR WELCOME. No need to cry that people don't understand your tribulations in life. Heck, nobody really understands or knows what sacrifices we've all made. Some worse than others. I'm sure his is not the worst either.
As a Vietnam vet I personally don’t like it and it’s awkward. Maybe it makes the person saying it feel better it doesn’t give me a warm and fussy feeling. I make it a point not to wear anything that would give the impression that I served for that reason. I don’t know who started this BS but it should stop. Just say Hi.
I wouldn't say I get "offended" when people say "thank you for your service", it's just annoying, and occasionally patronizing.
No need to thank me, I was glad to do it. I'm also especially tired of the media and media personnel who try to give themselves or their organization brownie points by constantly "thanking" veterans when they know nothing about the service.
Hell I've rarely read a newspaper article that could report a unit's designation right. What the heck is C company of the 4th infantry division anyway? Huh? There are more than a dozen C companies within any division. And it would be so easy to look up too.
I no longer explicitly tell people that I'm a veteran. Most people find out when another co-worker or family member of mine mentions it. There's just no reason (for me) to advertise it.
Like a couple of others have mentioned, thanking the military has become so commercialized and even politicized to the point that it may be perceived as hollow, never mind that it becomes a morals contest between networks and a barometer of patriotism. As a veteran married to a retired veteran, I kind of like it when people thank my husband; it's a "nicety" in an increasingly rude world. I do not particularly care for it when it's used to measure human worth for political office and ratings and I absolutely hate it when the veteran himself uses it to curry favor in public, to embellish achievements or to give weight to false testimony in courts of law. But that's just me.
I don't think it's offensive, necessarily, and it almost always comes from a well intentioned place. But I can see why a lot of people feel like that's not something they want to hear. They probably have a lot of baggage from the war, whether that's physical, mental, social... and they're also disillusioned about the mission's outcome, about the state of the government, etc. They're bitter about the fact that all the sacrifices they made did not really result in an outcome like, say, the WWII vets who came home, victorious and really having changed the world for the better. And the people saying "thanks for your service" tend to be people with no real connection to the sacrifices made by the military. (Yes, sometimes it's family members of vets, but not always.) They really don't get it, most of them. And now the tide of "military appreciation" has turned a bit in the last decade or so. Like the comments about how "it's just a job, they're not anything special" - those didn't really exist too much circa 2004.
What IS the proper response? Guess I don't think there's a blanket generalization. It varies based on the person. Some people really crave being thanked. Others hide their service. Some are doing just fine in the civilian world and view it as just a thing they did once. Others are homeless and addicted to drugs and they relive their service every day in their heads.
The fact is, many of his fellow Americans gladly sent him off to war for no reason and shouted the rest of us down who questioned it and argued against it and now his and many other soldiers lives are in tatters. I never blame soldiers for wars and only expect them to serve honorably, but it is the job of American politicians and their constituents (us voters) to make sure that we don't just go to war for made up reasons that hurt our soldiers (who are sons and daughters, fathers and mothers). Then we thank them for going instead of us so that we could have our cushy jobs and make lots of money and buy houses and cars while they now have mental issues. Anyone who was around for the weapons of mass destruction bs and all the gung-ho Americans who were ready to fight (not them of course) know what I mean. War is not a football game.
Sorry, never gonna thank someone for their service unless I know how they feel about it and know their situation. I know a bunch of people who have served in the military, at least one with severe PTSD, and yeah, "thank you for your service" can seem flippant and draw unwanted attention, especially to people who may have come away with some pretty awful memories. It also seems invasive to me - randomly thanking a stranger with no context aside from one fact you know about them. I'm a fairly gregarious person, but when I'm out and about, the last thing I would want is random people approaching me while I'm getting my morning coffee or something.
My point is this: When you thank someone for their service, you don't know how it will make them feel, what their mindset is, etc. The only thing you DO know is that it will make YOU feel good.
If you really do feel compelled to thank folks for their service, you might want instead to volunteer for organizations that help out veterans or donate to causes that support them or encourage businesses to prioritize them in their hiring process.
Re: The people who are saying "it was their own choice to serve" - yeah, and the majority of them were barely out of high school when they enlisted. (Not talking about career officers etc.) You read all the time about celebrities or even just local young people who mess up in life, DUI's and whatnot, are "just kids" and "didn't know any better" and "they'll grow up, eventually." Hell, most people think that an 18 year old getting married is committing a huge mistake, they don't know what they're getting into, etc. How do these same people then turn around and think that impressionable, typically low-income teens who are being pursued by recruiters and sign-on bonuses (I know it's not quite like that now, but recently that was the case) should be held accountable to a different standard? I know plenty of people who went to college without the slightest idea about what it would be like, and either partied and ignored their classes, changed majors, transferred, dropped out, moved back home... things you can't do once you sign on to the military. I'm not saying all service members should be idolized, but the argument of "well, they CHOSE to do it" annoys me. It's not like you can just change your mind once you get there and realize you're in a crappy situation that maybe isn't quite as glamorous as you thought it'd be.
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