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Old 03-05-2015, 11:35 AM
 
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
9,286 posts, read 16,132,688 times
Reputation: 11272

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Quote:
Originally Posted by vanguardisle View Post
I didnt say I thought they were incapable I just wanted to discuss the reason for the post. People on here need to get real with this op. She or he is not saying anyting or thinking anything that a lot of other people would not be saying or thinking ( and not so nicely) they just would not post it so do not be rude to this person who shares that they feel uncomfortable and wants to talk about it. Insulting someone will not make the feeling go away but maybe an honest discussion will. I will give this gay couple the benefit of the doubt but since many in my family growing up were adopted ( including my own mother as a baby) I have normally thought of adoption as something for babies or very young children not teens and of course it is only in the last decade or so that gay rights gained prominence to the general public so it is all new and strange .

I guess what is also strange to me is to adopt a teen who is almost a grown man? How much time will they have with him before he leaves the house and goes out on his own? Yes it is strange to me ... I do not think the gay couple is incapable of doing something wrong and neither is a straight couple, I just hope for the best and the boy is old enough to protect himself and stand up for himself if there is something wrong going on. I do in general like the idea of gay couples adopting unwanted children.
Just because the boy will turn 18 and (hopefully) go off to college or work does not mean all ties are severed.... this couple will be his parents for the rest of their lives....

Quote:
Originally Posted by ashpelham View Post
Ah. But, you see, no other side is allowed to express their feelings in this current environment. those screaming for tolerance and inclusion and equal rights are the first ones in the room to start yelling when someone voices a different opinion.

The original premise of this thread is "leading" to say the least. It's a dangerous intro if an intelligent conversation is desired.
only when that different opinion PROMOTES intolerance and exclusion and bigotry....
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Old 03-05-2015, 01:23 PM
 
Location: Kansas
19,189 posts, read 14,074,451 times
Reputation: 18141
Quote:
Originally Posted by longneckone View Post
Forget the gay/straight aspect. As a parent/step parent I am just saying I wonder if they had any idea what they were getting into. Teen years are not all a bed of roses even with great kids.
This is the reason a lot of adoptions do disrupt. I wonder also if it is possible that the teen is gay and I would tend to think that would be a strong possibility. At 16, there wouldn't be too many people stepping up to offer a home despite his sexuality and I do not blame them. We went through lots of profiles of children and the problems as they get older depending on what has happened before are just overwhelming.

I think most states follow-up on placements for some time and it is not unusual for the family and/or child to be in therapy working on forming the family and any issues from the past.

I am actually more comfortable with an older child being placed in this home then I would be with a younger one. I am betting this teen knows how to take care of himself and was able to make a judgement call about whether he would be comfortable living in the home with that particular couple.

SO much abuse goes on with children in every type of home: birth parent, foster and adoptive.

I hope it turns well for all of them. It is such a shame that some children age out of foster care and have no one. I always think about what holidays and special events must be like for them.
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Old 03-05-2015, 01:39 PM
Status: "Certified Victim™ who walked away" (set 3 days ago)
 
Location: Laguna Niguel, Orange County CA
9,121 posts, read 6,781,442 times
Reputation: 7053
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zelpha View Post
Virginia ABC 5 o'clock news has a segment called "Wednesday's Child" in which they spotlight foster children and success stories of adoption.

Today's segment was presented as any other segment, but this was a remarkably untraditional arrangement, I observed two gay men happily married, very nice home, blushingly introduce their new 16-year-old son, much taller than them, and very attractive.

I'm fairly confident that this will be a healthy parent/child arrangement but it seems a line between selecting a child in need of a home and selecting an attractive young man was blurred a bit.

The boy was relieved and down to earth and emotionally mature as he described his feelings of finally being adopted into a stable, permanent home.
As a gay male, I am hurt by this sentiment in your post as I hate the thought that people think I am a pedophile. I am not! I find interest in children to be repugnant. That said, I do hope these guys did not adopt the boy for the wrong reasons, but I absolutely see no evidence of it. His being attractive means nothing. Who wants an ugly kid? Be honest now.
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Old 03-05-2015, 01:44 PM
 
Location: FLG/PHX/MKE
7,289 posts, read 12,876,040 times
Reputation: 11529
This thread is so stupid. For crying out loud, he's SIXTEEN and probably has a girlfriend.

Plus, he probably came out as straight already, thereby avoiding that tough discussion.

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Old 03-05-2015, 01:53 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX
14,301 posts, read 20,557,796 times
Reputation: 20190
Most ridiculous thread on the board. Ever.
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Old 03-05-2015, 02:01 PM
 
2,287 posts, read 2,494,281 times
Reputation: 6999
I've never been prouder of most of my fellow posters on City Data! OP, go crawl back under your rock.
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Old 03-05-2015, 02:02 PM
 
Location: USA
7,778 posts, read 9,614,579 times
Reputation: 11672
An excellent example of how a person damn well better not have an opinion about anything having to do with gays that gays do not agree with. Who knew? I don't necessarily agree with what was posted, but that has nothing to do with what I'm saying here. Why are gay people so touchy?
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Old 03-05-2015, 02:13 PM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
1,470 posts, read 1,558,563 times
Reputation: 3185
please everyone, I am not implying that I think there would be any misbehavior in this family relationship. adoptive families are interviewed to ensure the best care for the adopted children. I only mean that on some subconscious level these men adopted this boy preferring him over, say, a newborn baby girl.

An earlier commenter requested a link to the story, but there is no link, as I saw this on the news on Television.

some of the commenters wondered if the boy might be homosexual too. But from what I saw he seems very heterosexual, not that I can be a judge of that, but you know. anyway, the boy seemed a bit weather worn from bouncing through the foster care system it seems that romance of any sort couldn't have been further from his mind, as he was just relieved to be adopted finally.
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Old 03-05-2015, 02:17 PM
 
Location: Texas
42,237 posts, read 49,783,147 times
Reputation: 67035
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rubi3 View Post
An excellent example of how a person damn well better not have an opinion about anything having to do with gays that gays do not agree with. Who knew? I don't necessarily agree with what was posted, but that has nothing to do with what I'm saying here. Why are gay people so touchy?
I think anyone would be touchy if you hinted at the idea that the only reason they seem to be doing something altruistic is because they want to get their hands on them.
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Old 03-05-2015, 02:17 PM
 
Location: Lakewood OH
20,873 posts, read 22,451,999 times
Reputation: 32624
Geez. My former best friend who is now deceased was the victim of incest by her biological father at the age of eleven. He tormented her until she was able to leave home until she was eighteen. Even after years of therapy she was never really mentally whole.

So I guess we can say that no child is guaranteed safety but maybe biological kids least of all because biological parents aren't screened like adoptive parents are.

These guys are taking in a teen who needs a home. That's the simple story. Good for them. There is no need to read anything else into it. There is no evidence anything more is at issue here. Who knows? Maybe the kid himself is gay and feels comfortable around gay parents more than straight ones. If the teen is okay with this and the dads are okay with it no one else matters.
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