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Old 04-20-2015, 09:35 PM
 
Location: Aztlan
2,686 posts, read 1,339,008 times
Reputation: 1282

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Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
Maybe it wasn't....but you still pull the kid aside, and say "Look, I know you don't know this boy, but he's here at your party and I expect you to be polite to him and to let him go on rides with you and your cousins". Is that so hard? How do we teach them if we just let them do whatever they want? If a child is staring and pointing at an obese man or a person in a wheelchair in a restaurant, don't you correct them and say "don't do that, it's not nice"?
In the case of the obese man, the child pointing at him may encourage him to lay off the Ding Dongs. You can't fairly compare obesity with having to be in a wheelchair(unless the person is in the wheelchair because they made themselves fat).
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Old 04-20-2015, 09:42 PM
 
Location: Aztlan
2,686 posts, read 1,339,008 times
Reputation: 1282
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
She showed initiative by inviting them to her party, did she not? They're classmates, doesn't that make her part of the group? You think the problem here is that this little girl who has struggled her entire life hasn't been told yet it's a harsh world? Somehow I think her and her family already know that...it has nothing at all to do with socializing our own kids in a way that they contribute to the world in a positive way.
Did it ever occur to you that the other kids may have had other things to do? Nowadays, kids are involved in so many activities that they may not have time to attend a party. I think that by pulling this stunt, the mother has accomplished the impressive feat of making everyone assume that the lack of RSVP's were because of her child's condition. Now she can say that her kid is a victim of "discrimination". This knee-jerk effect of just believing a sob story is a symptom of a current trend of people simply not using the brains with which they were blessed. Rational thought and critical thinking is unfortunately fast becoming a lost art. Now everyone has to "feel" something.
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Old 04-20-2015, 09:46 PM
 
Location: Aztlan
2,686 posts, read 1,339,008 times
Reputation: 1282
Quote:
Originally Posted by renault View Post
ALL of the classmates turned her birthday invitation down? ALL of the parents agreed that it was perfectly okay for their child not to attend this child's birthday party because of [x] reason(s)?

Maybe I'm being too skeptical but the recent rash of nobody-came-to-my-childs-birthday-party-until-I-posted-on-Facebook stories doesn't add up.

If anything, they sound like stories planted by Facebook.
It's a "vast right wing conspiracy".
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Old 04-20-2015, 09:47 PM
 
Location: Aztlan
2,686 posts, read 1,339,008 times
Reputation: 1282
Quote:
Originally Posted by Utopian Slums View Post
By teaching them WHY they should and exposing them to human DIFFERENCES.
Can't that be done without resorting to force?
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Old 04-21-2015, 05:21 AM
 
17,308 posts, read 14,850,963 times
Reputation: 32922
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
We can encourage them. However, compassion is not built in a day. Children who were raised to be empathetic, will generally make empathetic choices in life.

However, children have personalities and their own feelings, no matter how they are raised.

My children were never invited to the parties of any disabled children, however they had some invitations to the parties of unpopular children.

One of my children always went. He felt sorry for the birthday person. My daughter, on the other hand, needed to be encouraged. She worried more about what others thought. Because I saw this in her, and I was not wild about this trait, I did encourage and have dialogue with her about this.

Generally, she decided to attend.

The other part of this is a bad choice on the part of the mother to have a party involving children who were clearly not friends of her daughter. Why set your child up for a disappointment?
She had to know that her daughter was not friends with these children.

Personally, I would have either invited cousins or neighbors. Gone to an amusement park, Cirque du Soliel, see a movie and have dinner at the Cheese Cake Factory.

I wouldn't want to hurt my child and set her up for rejection. I think the parents made a bad call.

I also would not want my child to be the object of all of this embarrassing publicity, pity and sympathy.
She looked very happy in the video, in fact she looked beside herself with joy...she even had professional athletes show up at her party. Even so, Mom didn't plan it this way..she put the word out on her FB page directed to mom's in some groups she belongs to..she never made a public plea...the other moms extended it.

I think you did a good job, though. I don't think anyone here is judging the kids themselves.
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Old 04-21-2015, 05:26 AM
 
17,308 posts, read 14,850,963 times
Reputation: 32922
Quote:
Originally Posted by O.C. Ogilvy View Post
Can't that be done without resorting to force?
Who here said the moms should have resorted to force? isn't that a bit it silly anyway? If you extend that, why not just never make them do homework, stick to commitments, make their bed, etc etc, why not let them decide if they want to go to school, too...aren't kids pretty much "forced" to do things they may not have chosen to do every day? I think force is quite an odd word to use describing a parent and 10 year olds, though.
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Old 04-21-2015, 05:30 AM
 
17,308 posts, read 14,850,963 times
Reputation: 32922
Quote:
Originally Posted by O.C. Ogilvy View Post
Did it ever occur to you that the other kids may have had other things to do? Nowadays, kids are involved in so many activities that they may not have time to attend a party. I think that by pulling this stunt, the mother has accomplished the impressive feat of making everyone assume that the lack of RSVP's were because of her child's condition. Now she can say that her kid is a victim of "discrimination". This knee-jerk effect of just believing a sob story is a symptom of a current trend of people simply not using the brains with which they were blessed. Rational thought and critical thinking is unfortunately fast becoming a lost art. Now everyone has to "feel" something.
I am not blaming anyone most especially the kids..if anyone it's the parents that missed a great opportunity to show their kids how to look outside themselves....but the particular post I was responding to above, said that the kid should have been told that since she wasn't part of the group, she just had to accept they didn't like her, or she needed to take more initiative to make them like her...you can't just take a post out of context and re-post it like it was a general comment.
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Old 04-21-2015, 11:15 AM
 
7,022 posts, read 5,776,902 times
Reputation: 6963
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
Planted how? There was video of the party on the news, Sam's Club donated a tent and other things, a local barbeque place donated food...I'm not sure what you're saying, that it was all staged by Facebook and Sam's Club and the barbeque place were all in on it as well as the girl and her family? The girl and her family were lying along with Facebook and they made the whole thing up to get a free party, and Facebook went along with it??? What do you mean, exactly?
I don't know if this story is really a hoax or a clever "guerrilla marketing" tactic by Facebook, but I do believe that Facebook has the money and know-how to set all this up. Not only that, but I've noticed that these parents who claimed nobody came to their problem child's party are/were involved in Autistic groups/associations. Coincidence? It certainly brings "awareness" to the fact that autistic children are sometimes sidelined by their normal peers.

Regardless, I still find it very suspcious that not one single child would attend this child's party. It's only for a few hours. Society is far more PC today so I find it hard to believe that ALL of these parents are so insensitive and mean.

Like I said before, maybe I'm being overly cynical. JMO.
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Old 08-22-2015, 02:57 AM
 
Location: I'm out searching for me... If you see me, let me know... ;--)
3,283 posts, read 1,708,224 times
Reputation: 7194
Quote:
Originally Posted by renault View Post
I don't know if this story is really a hoax or a clever "guerrilla marketing" tactic by Facebook, but I do believe that Facebook has the money and know-how to set all this up. Not only that, but I've noticed that these parents who claimed nobody came to their problem child's party are/were involved in Autistic groups/associations. Coincidence? It certainly brings "awareness" to the fact that autistic children are sometimes sidelined by their normal peers.

Regardless, I still find it very suspcious that not one single child would attend this child's party. It's only for a few hours. Society is far more PC today so I find it hard to believe that ALL of these parents are so insensitive and mean.

Like I said before, maybe I'm being overly cynical. JMO.
Yes, you are being cynical with your post. Why did you call the girl the problem child? That is shifting the blame to the girl.

Which brings to the fact Society has not advanced to be PC towards other peoples feelings. Society is not to the point a child would be not be left behind. Kids still get excluded. Whether it was just parents and kids believing the someone else will join or they were being unkind doesn't matter. The results are the same. Someone was excluded but lucky for her, her mother took action!

If this was a hoax any one of the parents of the girl's classmates would have blown the whistle.

Not only that but Facebook does not need publicity. Ditto for Sams. To think everyone in this story is making it up is crazy. What mother would put her shy child through that?

Also, do you think the Autistic associations would be part of deceiving people? Really??

What a silver lining!Rejected by 20 (is that number right??) and accepted by at 300+ people! Shows society does have great people who care!

Last edited by Wild Flower; 08-22-2015 at 03:31 AM..
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Old 08-22-2015, 10:49 AM
 
Location: Deep 13
994 posts, read 712,391 times
Reputation: 2932
Did those 300 people play with her at recess the following Monday?
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