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Old 07-15-2015, 03:35 PM
 
5,481 posts, read 8,500,794 times
Reputation: 8284

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Quote:
Originally Posted by riaelise View Post
No need for any "pity". Different strokes for different folks. We're happily married, with children. Your happiness is definitely no greater than ours (and our happiness isn't solely wrapped around being parents, btw).

I never did understand why certain childfree people feel the need to demonize children or parents or feel as if their lifestyle is superior. Having children is a personal lifestyle choice. If you don't want kids, don't have them. No one really cares. The irony of it all is that these same people were "soul sucking" "parasites" themselves. Unless an alien abducted them right after birth, some person or persons raised them and had to forego some of their "freedoms". Or maybe not, because often these people have parent issues somehow.
I'm not demonizing children or couples who choose to have children. I'm just pointing out my experiences as a 36yr old man and what I've personally witnessed over the years. Am I saying that this is the case for every single family out there? Of course not. I'm just pointing out the ones whom I personally know that have children only to constantly complain about how hard it is and how they're very limited as to what they can do and where they can go as a result.
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Old 07-15-2015, 03:37 PM
 
Location: Keller, TX
5,658 posts, read 6,243,976 times
Reputation: 4111
Quote:
Originally Posted by louie0406 View Post
I'm just pointing out the ones whom I personally know that have children only to constantly complain about how hard it is and how they're very limited as to what they can do and where they can go as a result.
And counting the days until those children LEAVE HOME.
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Old 07-15-2015, 03:43 PM
 
5,481 posts, read 8,500,794 times
Reputation: 8284
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nepenthe View Post
And counting the days until those children LEAVE HOME.
LOL. Never understood that. They purposely have children only to complain about the struggles of raising a child, then cant wait for them to leave the house.

Just the other day my neighbor told me that her favorites months are Sept - June because that's when the kids are out of the house all day and at school.

If having children is so burdensome to some people, why continue to have them? I can understand those who have one then see what a challenge it is and decide to not have any more, but there's those who keep popping them out only to complain and complain. I dont get it...
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Old 07-15-2015, 03:48 PM
 
Location: Ohio
15,701 posts, read 16,952,644 times
Reputation: 22089
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mack Knife View Post
According to this article, most women who had abortions do not regret having done so.

Too bad they can't ask those who would have grown up to speak for themselves.

Most Women Who Have Abortions Don
What about all of the children that would never have been born if not for the abortion that took place earlier?
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Old 07-15-2015, 03:58 PM
 
Location: Ohio
15,701 posts, read 16,952,644 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
Its amusing that on other threads on the abortion topic anti-choice people claim that abortions are traumatic and women who get them have life long regrets and even emotional problems afterwards.
..........while ignoring the fact that women who put children up for adoption are also traumatized, have life long regret and even emotional problems afterwards.
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Old 07-15-2015, 03:59 PM
 
1,425 posts, read 1,377,600 times
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I regret it even though it was justified by my serious health issues. But I started regretting it about 20 years later after I had it.
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Old 07-15-2015, 04:18 PM
 
Location: Way up high
22,181 posts, read 29,145,284 times
Reputation: 31224
It was a smart decision for me. No regrets here
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Old 07-15-2015, 04:23 PM
 
Location: Ohio
15,701 posts, read 16,952,644 times
Reputation: 22089
Quote:
Originally Posted by riaelise View Post
No need for any "pity". Different strokes for different folks. We're happily married, with children. Your happiness is definitely no greater than ours (and our happiness isn't solely wrapped around being parents, btw).

I never did understand why certain childfree people feel the need to demonize children or parents or feel as if their lifestyle is superior. Having children is a personal lifestyle choice. If you don't want kids, don't have them. No one really cares. The irony of it all is that these same people were "soul sucking" "parasites" themselves. Unless an alien abducted them right after birth, some person or persons raised them and had to forego some of their "freedoms". Or maybe not, because often these people have parent issues somehow.
And I have never understood why certain parents feel the need to demonize the childfree, often insinuating that those who choose to be childfree are selfish, as you have just done.

Should I have a child I don't really want just because my parent's chose to have children? Poor kid.

Why is choosing not to have children anymore selfish than choosing to have them?

In both cases, you are choosing to do something you want to do......so you could call both choices being selfish.
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Old 07-15-2015, 04:23 PM
 
Location: Round Rock, Texas
13,437 posts, read 15,337,866 times
Reputation: 18959
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nepenthe View Post
True. I don't demonize parents. I feel bad when they rarely get to go have fun or enrichening activities. But I find the opposite is true more often. I get demonized as well as discriminated against in the workplace and elsewhere due to not having produced copies of myself. Very true -- a kid is a LUXURY ITEM. Especially the second or third or beyond.
But that therein lies the problem. Those parents don't have any balance in their lives. They nail themselves to crosses and then complain. It's not an "all or nothing" deal. Yes, when you have children, they do become a priority. But that doesn't mean that your every waking moment revolves around playdates and SpongeBob. My husband and I go to the movies. We're celebrating our 12th anniversary in Granbury sans kids. We do spend a lot of our time when we're not working with our children but we also spend time with each other as a couple and keep our marriage a priority as well. We both know that the children will at some point leave and if we've disconnected as a couple and our whole world revolved around only the kids, our marriage would probably fail. BTW, I respect those who choose not to have children. Better they realize that early on instead of procreating "just because". Not everyone wants to make that commitment and that doesn't make them bad people. Everybody knows his/her own life's needs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by louie0406 View Post
I'm not demonizing children or couples who choose to have children. I'm just pointing out my experiences as a 36yr old man and what I've personally witnessed over the years. Am I saying that this is the case for every single family out there? Of course not. I'm just pointing out the ones whom I personally know that have children only to constantly complain about how hard it is and how they're very limited as to what they can do and where they can go as a result.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nepenthe View Post
And counting the days until those children LEAVE HOME.
Quote:
Originally Posted by louie0406 View Post
LOL. Never understood that. They purposely have children only to complain about the struggles of raising a child, then cant wait for them to leave the house.

Just the other day my neighbor told me that her favorites months are Sept - June because that's when the kids are out of the house all day and at school.

If having children is so burdensome to some people, why continue to have them? I can understand those who have one then see what a challenge it is and decide to not have any more, but there's those who keep popping them out only to complain and complain. I dont get it...
I never did understand that either. If they weren't ready to be all in, then they should have put off having children a little longer. Or maybe not have children at all. Like I said above, that doesn't make them horrible people. It's not the act of having the children that's the problem. The problem is with the adults not being true to themselves and not giving such a major decision much weight. You should never have kids because Aunt Mildred keeps pestering you, or because you're turning 35, or because you need a whole in your life filled. If people aren't ready to make room in their lives for someone else, then don't have a child. These are the same parents that don't have any balance in their lives whatsoever.

I will be the first to admit that many Friday nights are spent at home - my husband and I have abused the heck out of Netflix and board games. A night of dancing and debauchery requires planning. Yes, we play Kidz Bop in the car (oh, how I hate top 40). I have to play referee when they fight. Yes, there's times when they push all of our buttons simultaneously and we do a collective ARGGGGGGH. But do we truly have any regrets? No. We were grownups..and we made a conscious decision. It's what we wanted. We waited until we were absolutely ready to have kids (I was 30) and then we started our family. as clichéd as it sounds, we really can't picture our lives without our children. They've become such an integral part of us for so long, but at the same time, we do rekindle the moments before kids too.

Last edited by riaelise; 07-15-2015 at 04:35 PM..
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Old 07-15-2015, 04:38 PM
 
Location: USA
30,430 posts, read 21,645,519 times
Reputation: 18760
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicci6Squirrels View Post
I think it's probably more complex than just feeling regret or not. I've never had an abortion myself, but have accompanied a friend when she had it done. I know it was not an easy decision for her. She was 19, unmarried, and dating a guy who turned out to be quite a crazy person. (She ended up married to him, he abused her, they divorced.) She's never had children.

It's not an indication of a woman's character if she doesn't feel regret for having had an abortion. It's not illegal, it's a very personal choice for most people, and I'm sure the majority of woman did what they felt was best when faced with a very difficult situation. I think the word, "regret" implies lack of feeling, but that's usually not the case at all. These women don't have regret because they feel as if they made the correct choice for themselves, that's all. In a perfect world, all babies would be wanted and taken care of, but we don't live in a perfect world, unfortunately.

When it comes down to to destroying your own life in your friends case I can see that. I was Anti abortion for all but rape and incest at one time, but no more. There are a lot of messed up and abused kids that will continue the cycle of insanity and violence because they were against abortion.
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