U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Current Events
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 05-23-2016, 11:27 AM
 
1,056 posts, read 958,128 times
Reputation: 2417

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by emm74 View Post
She looks fine - this was about her size. The teacher even made a comment about "Us big girls gotta cover up." This is about that teacher being uncomfortable about her own body and trying to force this student to feel the same way.
The teacher wasn't saying that because she's uncomfortable with her own body - the teacher was saying that because she knows what it's like to have large breasts and women with large breasts have to be more conscious of what they wear on top than women who have small breasts. It's just a fact of life as a large breasted woman. I should know as I'm one too.

All the folks saying this dress is fine also need to consider the angle of the picture. It's not quite straight on so we're almost looking up just a little bit at her chest rather than straight at it so there really isn't that much cleavage visible from this angle. But what you need to realize is that up closer her cleavage is a lot more visible than what this picture shows. Anyone who is as tall or taller than her (which is probably every guy and most of the girls there) can come up to her from a couple feet away, look down and see just about everything god gave her.

As a fellow woman who also has a lot on top, I know from personal experience wearing something cut like this just how much more of her cleavage can be seen from "above". That's probably why it was decided that the dress was inappropriate.

Last edited by patches403; 05-23-2016 at 11:35 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-23-2016, 11:37 AM
 
6,307 posts, read 7,426,741 times
Reputation: 8082
Quote:
Originally Posted by patches403 View Post
Anyone who is taller than her (which is probably every guy there) can come up to her from a couple feet away, look down and see just about everything god gave her.
Not in this physical universe.

Quote:
Originally Posted by patches403 View Post
As a fellow woman who also has a lot on top, I know from personal experience wearing something cut like that just how much more of her cleavage can be seen from "above". That's probably why it was decided that the dress was inappropriate.
The bodice looks like it fit well across the front. What was going to be seen from "above"? Even if someone shone a flashlight down there, not too much.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2016, 11:54 AM
 
Location: United States
919 posts, read 583,406 times
Reputation: 2581
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Bully View Post
I fail to see the problem here. Are schools allowed to have dress codes or not? If so, then they must be followed. Appropriate or not is not the issue. Compliance with dress codes is. If the dress code is too ambiguous, then clarify it with an amendment.
That is true. People sometimes are under the misguided impression that they have individual rights which are broader than what they are in actuality. Within the controlled environment of a school setting, students are expected to conduct themselves in a certain manner or else face possible consequences such as suspensions and the like. Similarly, teachers also have to carefully watch what they say and do.

I would be surprised if schools did not have specific guidelines covering proms, and administrators are likely to get the word out well in advance so that both students and parents are familiar with dress code requirements for proms. So long as notice is given and there is no deliberate attempt to target any student unfairly, it is hard to anticipate a different outcome in these cases. The dress worn by the student in this instance was by no means inappropriate or outrageously revealing, but there was always the option of having the student's mother seek additional clarification to ensure that her daughter's special day had a much better ending.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2016, 11:57 AM
 
1,056 posts, read 958,128 times
Reputation: 2417
Quote:
Originally Posted by mishigas73 View Post

The bodice looks like it fit well across the front. What was going to be seen from "above"? Even if someone shone a flashlight down there, not too much.
The bodice does seem to fit well across the front but if you can see this much breast from a front view at slightly below straight-on, I can guarantee you can see a whole lot more from a closer and higher view. Maybe not everything God gave her, but certainly a significant amount of breast surface. When you have big breasts and wear a style dress like this on top with a push up bra it will definitely show a significant amount of breast surface at the right angle no matter how well fitted it is.

I think it's a lovely dress and it looks great on her, but it's a dress that is designed to showcase a lot of cleavage on a large breasted woman. If this was an adult party, this dress would be very tasteful and no one would think it was risque at all, but it wasn't an adult event and the school is entitled to have whatever standards for appearance at school events that it wants to have. I do feel bad for this girl - the internet and cell phones have made certain aspects of life a lot harder for kids growing up now.

Last edited by patches403; 05-23-2016 at 12:09 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2016, 12:16 PM
 
510 posts, read 337,304 times
Reputation: 1290
The problem with these stories is there is always some teacher who takes it upon himself/herself to police for dress code violators based how they interpret the rules. Much akin to the religious police in Saudi Arabia. Its simple. Either make the rules extremely clear (ie, gown must cover collar bones) or just not bother with the prom entirely.

Seriously why is the prom treated like some sacred tradition. Every year we get stories of kids getting kicked out for the dumbest reasons (girls wearing pants, no dates, strange hair cuts, etc). They're students. They wear/do things different than adults because of their age. Just let them have a good time.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2016, 12:22 PM
 
6,307 posts, read 7,426,741 times
Reputation: 8082
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aura 524 View Post
I would be surprised if schools did not have specific guidelines covering proms, and administrators are likely to get the word out well in advance so that both students and parents are familiar with dress code requirements for proms. So long as notice is given and there is no deliberate attempt to target any student unfairly, it is hard to anticipate a different outcome in these cases. The dress worn by the student in this instance was by no means inappropriate or outrageously revealing, but there was always the option of having the student's mother seek additional clarification to ensure that her daughter's special day had a much better ending.
Maybe I missed it, but were there additional guidelines given in this situation? Was the dress code described as anything other than "formal"?

Your point is taken about asking for additional clarification, but I'm stuck on the idea that it would be up to the individual to run their prospective outfit choice past the powers that be. If "cleavage is bad", then make that rule. Same if shoulders should be covered, or the skirt should be of a particular length. Upfront, not when the attendees are walking into the venue.

Since this topic has come up, I've thought back to my own prom experience. Will be 25 years ago next month.

I got a custom dress. At that time, where we lived, any off the rack dress that would have fit my bust would have been, as my mother so kindly puts it, "matronly".

It was, I suppose best described as a "cocktail dress". Strapless, sweetheart top, with a skirt just above the knees, and lots of tulle. (Yeah, it WAS the early 90's...lol)

Yup, there was cleavage showing- but the fact is that mine was fitted for me, so it was far more likely that those girls that had gotten their hundred dollar Macy's dresses off the rack would have had a "wardrobe malfunction".

Prom was a HUGE thing where I grew up. It was held at a swanky NYC hotel, and everyone dressed to the nines. Try as I might, I can't recall anyone being denied entry because of what they were wearing.

Times have changed, I know. People are way more sensitive about these sorts of things. Which is all fine and dandy, but IMO, people just need to be upfront about the "rules" and apply them evenly across the board. If nothing was mentioned for the dress code about this prom other than "formal", I have a very difficult time accepting that this gal was turned away. That someone felt uncomfortable with what she was wearing is not a good enough reason, IMO.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2016, 12:23 PM
 
6,307 posts, read 7,426,741 times
Reputation: 8082
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taluffen View Post
Its simple. Either make the rules extremely clear (ie, gown must cover collar bones) or just not bother with the prom entirely.
Bingo.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2016, 12:24 PM
 
6,307 posts, read 7,426,741 times
Reputation: 8082
Quote:
Originally Posted by patches403 View Post
The bodice does seem to fit well across the front but if you can see this much breast from a front view at slightly below straight-on, I can guarantee you can see a whole lot more from a closer and higher view. Maybe not everything God gave her, but certainly a significant amount of breast surface.
Nah.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2016, 12:27 PM
 
Location: Canada
5,708 posts, read 4,125,099 times
Reputation: 15307
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taluffen View Post
The problem with these stories is there is always some teacher who takes it upon himself/herself to police for dress code violators based how they interpret the rules. Much akin to the religious police in Saudi Arabia. Its simple. Either make the rules extremely clear (ie, gown must cover collar bones) or just not bother with the prom entirely.

Seriously why is the prom treated like some sacred tradition. Every year we get stories of kids getting kicked out for the dumbest reasons (girls wearing pants, no dates, strange hair cuts, etc). They're students. They wear/do things different than adults because of their age. Just let them have a good time.
I agree. She can't help having a cleavage and if some slim girl wore that dress, it would probably be deemed appropriate by the prom police. Double standards are not fair. Thick or thin, same dress code.

I think some of you who don't approve are just looking at, and are disgusted by the size of this young girl, not how beautiful she is and how pretty the dress is.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-23-2016, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
21,001 posts, read 11,624,951 times
Reputation: 31847
A larger person has more skin to show but it doesn't mean that relative to a smaller person, this girl was showing more cleavage. And the article posted in the original post confirms that other students wore dresses showing cleavage, some with clear fabric, as well as others with thigh high slits and backless dresses. Lots of skin was on display yet somehow it's only an issue on a student who happens to be a bigger girl.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Current Events
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 03:43 AM.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top