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Another great solution: rear-facing mirrors required by law. Many are safety-crash tested, and it allows you to see your children. You see their face every time you look in the rearview mirror, whether they are sleeping or not. It also allows them to see you, and you can keep an eye on them if they are eating to make sure they don't choke. I have one for both of my rear facing children, and they sell the mirrors everywhere. They should be mandated by law in every state, and included with every infant and convertible car seat purchase.
After almost leaving my dd in the car one day (there but for the grace of God go I) I started putting a teddy bear in her car seat when it was empty and moving it to the front seat when she was in the car seat. I am shocked at how easily this can happen. Normally dh dropped dd off at day care but I needed to that day but instead of turning right to go to the day care center I turned left to go to work. From that moment forward, in my mind it was a typical day and dh had dropped her off. When I saw her in the back seat, after getting out of the car, my first reaction wasn't OMG I almost left the baby in the car it was "What's she doing there?". It's like my brain over wrote the morning's events with those of a typical day instead of this unusual one.
How about an idiot light that lights up on the dashboard when there's a baby in the car seat? I can't explain how this happens but I know how easily it happens. I've done some reading on the subject and it appears our memories are like swiss cheese with lots of holes our brains fill with "typical" events. It's too easy to get into a normal routine and go on auto pilot without realizing it. I used to make a 45 mile commute every day and there were many days when I arrived at work and realized I didn't remember the entire drive. It was like POOF I was there.
Whenever a case like this hits the media -- and it always does -- the public response is the same: How could a parent leave her child in a hot car? In most instances the child had fallen asleep, so there was no sound to remind the parent to take him out. And if a baby was in a rear-facing car seat in the backseat, there was also no visual cue: The baby's head might not have been visible over the top of the seat.
This is a relatively new problem. Prior to the early 1990s, children were routinely placed in the front seat, where it was obvious that they were in the car. In fact, from 1990 to 1992 there were only 11 known deaths of children from heatstroke after being left in a car. After that, car seats were moved to the back. This is when airbags became common and kids riding in the front seat were being killed by them -- 63 in 1995 alone. Not a single child has died due to an airbag since 2003, but at least 110 kids died of heatstroke from 2011 to 2013 -- a tenfold increase over the prior decade. So although kids are safer in cars in one way, they are more at risk in another.
Quote:
But that isn't the only factor in heatstroke deaths, and safety experts stress that the backseat remains the safest place for children. Another major contributor, one that's more difficult to comprehend, relates to the brain. "These are not negligent parents who have forgotten their kids," says David Diamond, Ph.D., a neuroscientist in the psychology department at the University of South Florida, in Tampa, who has reviewed the details of many hot-car deaths and has spent time with dozens of parents who unintentionally left their child in the car.
Understanding what they did, he says, requires grasping how two very different parts of the brain work. There are the basal ganglia -- the "background system" that controls our habits. "It allows us to do things without thinking about them," Dr. Diamond says. When you're training in sports, for example, you repeat an action over and over to fine-tune your skills. Once it's time to compete, the action is automatic. "Your basal ganglia take over and you don't have to think about how to bounce or shoot the ball."
Please read the rest of the article. It explains the science about how you forget. It's why you need to put something in the front seat that reminds you that the baby is with you - example have a teddy bear that rides in the car seat when the child is not in the car and rides in the front with you when you put the baby in the carseat. Or put your purse and phone in the back seat so you have to look in the back seat every time.
Please read the rest of the article. It explains the science about how you forget. It's why you need to put something in the front seat that reminds you that the baby is with you - example have a teddy bear that rides in the car seat when the child is not in the car and rides in the front with you when you put the baby in the carseat. Or put your purse and phone in the back seat so you have to look in the back seat every time.
Thanks nana053
This article should be mandatory reading for parents and anyone that cares for children.
I agree. More mercy should be shown the father, it was not intentional; and every one of us are capable of making mistakes. The living hell he has in his mind right now is certainly punishment, he will never be the same...
In today's fast paced world, and with the child in the back seat, out of line of vision; it does (in my mind anyway) make this easier to happen.
I think the article the OP prompted us to read (and Nana053 refers to quotes above) does provide more understanding of this tragic situation.
Some readers here brought up some excellent ideas the car manufacturers could install to cut down on the amount of times this occurs. Too bad it's not mandated, we'd see a lot less of this.
Last edited by TerraDown; 06-25-2016 at 08:09 AM..
It's a sad commentary that people would never forget their cell phones, but easily forget their own children.
If you read about these tragedies you'd realize that they usually happen when a routine is changed. The person who leaves the child in the car isn't the one who usually drops the child off in the morning. It's not their habit to go to the day care before going to work. The day I almost left dd in the car I simply made my normal left turn out of the sub division and from that moment forward in my mind it was a typical day and dh was taking dd to day care. She was quiet the entire trip. I don't know what made me look in the back seat but I did and I saw her hand move. My first thought wasn't OMG I almost left the baby in the car it was confusion. For a moment I was confused as to why she was even in my car.
Our memories are not perfect. They're like swiss cheese and our brains fill the holes with typical events. Once I turned left my brain filled my day with typical day. Or maybe it already had before I turned left but I did what I do out of habit and this would include something like getting your cell phone before getting out of the car. It's not that the cell phone is more important but that it's something you usually do. I could drive the entire 45 mile trip from my house to the plant years ago and not even remember getting off at my exit. Obviously I was awake for the entire trip but I tuned it out and my brain just substituted typical commute.
The truth is we'd over tax our brains if we had to process every moment of every day so we don't. Most of what we do is dumped quickly after we do it. (Ever walk from one room to another and you can't remember why you got up?) Unless something happens to cement the memory it can be lost. Somehow I lost my memory of putting my dd in my car that morning. I did not remember putting her in the car. I did remember, after seeing her, that I was supposed to drop her off that morning but my memory was of a typical morning that day. Stress may play a role here, maybe we're trying to do too many things at one time...all I know is it happens easily. Here was a child I prayed for and waited for for 16 years and I almost left her in the car that morning. How could that be? I was a good mom. Everything I did I did to her advantage. All I did was disrupt my normal routine.
So yes, put the cell phone, purse or brief case in the back seat because it's part of your normal routine to get those things before you get out of the car. These accidents usually happen when it's not the normal routine to drop off the child.
I don't have kids. But thinking about how a different routine messes you up, and how common that is in these incidents, just this weekend I can name several small mishaps. Yesterday I went to the shelf I store my keys on and little else. I left something there and realized I wanted it. I walked over, grabbed my keys and put them in my purse. Instead of grabbing the item I wanted.
This morning I headed downtown to the coffee shop. Usually I don't turn there and go further in. As I got to the light I told myself I would turn towards the coffee shop. And sure enough I missed that turn and headed to the one i usually take everywhere else.
These obviously have no consequences but the Swiss cheese brain makes a lot of sense. I hope this happens to none of you but it is quite easy to imagine how it could in the right combination of circumstances.
I agree. More mercy should be shown the father, it was not intentional; and every one of us are capable of making mistakes. The living hell he has in his mind right now is certainly punishment, he will never be the same...
In today's fast paced world, and with the child in the back seat, out of line of vision; it does (in my mind anyway) make this easier to happen.
I think the article the OP prompted us to read (and Nana053 refers to quotes above) does provide more understanding of this tragic situation.
Some readers here brought up some excellent ideas the car manufacturers could install to cut down on the amount of times this occurs. Too bad it's not mandated, we'd see a lot less of this.
Awesome, make cars more expensive because some unemployed parent who had one job decided to take a nap instead of watching his kid.
This scumbag of a father arrives home, and makes the decision to take a nap. Even a moron can think to themselves, "hm, I want to take a nap, but I have to watch my kid."
No mercy, sorry. It may not have been intentional, but it was certainly negligent.
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