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Old 02-10-2017, 03:55 PM
 
35,095 posts, read 51,053,827 times
Reputation: 62662

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Quote:
Originally Posted by billl View Post
If the biological father had any compassion at all for his daughter, he would see and understand that what he is doing is NOT in her best interest. He would stop the legal fight over custody immediately. Then if he still wants contact with her he can begin the process of fighting for access ... as you say, "spending time together under supervision in a slower steady progression". What he is doing currently will not benefit the child in any way.

Those here who are arguing about the biological father's rights and his fitness to be a parent are missing the whole point! It's the child who will be harmed in all this. It's the child whose needs and stability should be considered. Tearing her away from what she knows as family could do irreparable harm at this point, regardless of the biological father's legal standing. Unfortunately the courts and the law don't see it that way. This is one of the tragedies of our adoptive process.
And who are you that you know exactly what is best for this child? Alleged *fit to be parents* hurt their children every day but no one says a word about it. The lack of attention, talking, taking the cell phone out of their eye balls and focusing on their children does not happen which is just as traumatizing as a
beating.
The whole point is, no one knows what is best for this child, they are just assuming it is not the biological parent because he does not fall into society's acceptable cookie cutter.


Who can honestly say that one or both of the adoptive parents won't have a mental break down and
kill the entire family then commit suicide?
Who can honestly say the the adoptive parents or siblings won't sexually, emotionally or mentally abuse this child?
No one can and there is no way to know for sure which way to go with this child is going to be the
right way that is best for her. All I am pointing out is that there are many assumptions regarding this issue by you and many others who do not know the specific true details of this case, the families involved,
nor what the future holds. It's all a drop of the donut landing icing side up if you are lucky and things work out for the best.
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Old 02-10-2017, 03:58 PM
 
35,095 posts, read 51,053,827 times
Reputation: 62662
Quote:
Originally Posted by ringwise View Post
That's right. Crime has consequences. And if he truly had an interest in the child, he wouldn't have, as the article states, "failed to demonstrate the minimum efforts…to establish or maintain a parent child relationship".

He lost his chance to have a relationship with this child.
No he didn't, his chance to have a relationship with this child was taken away by her Mother.
There is an actual possibility that what the article states and the actual truth are two different things.
News is boring if it is dull and full of truthful details but expanded truth is much more exciting and sensational.
Don't believe everything you read or hear when it involves humans reporting the news.
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Old 02-10-2017, 04:07 PM
 
Location: Odessa, FL
2,218 posts, read 4,356,824 times
Reputation: 2942
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
And who are you that you know exactly what is best for this child? Alleged *fit to be parents* hurt their children every day but no one says a word about it. The lack of attention, talking, taking the cell phone out of their eye balls and focusing on their children does not happen which is just as traumatizing as a
beating.
The whole point is, no one knows what is best for this child, they are just assuming it is not the biological parent because he does not fall into society's acceptable cookie cutter.
Sounds like you are very certain that ripping this child away from the only adults she has ever known as "mom" and "dad" would be a perfectly acceptable thing to do. Sounds like you are very certain that turning this child over to a man whom she has never met and has never had any sort of relationship with would just be A OK.

I don't necessarily know what is best for This Child, but I do have first hand experience in what a child goes through when separated from a loving family. Our courts are so focused on what's legal they miss what's best. This has been proven time and time again when lawyers screw up an adoption, just like what has happened here.

Quote:
Who can honestly say that one or both of the adoptive parents won't have a mental break down and
kill the entire family then commit suicide?
Who can honestly say the the adoptive parents or siblings won't sexually, emotionally or mentally abuse this child?
No one can and there is no way to know for sure which way to go with this child is going to be the
right way that is best for her. All I am pointing out is that there are many assumptions regarding this issue by you and many others who do not know the specific true details of this case, the families involved,
nor what the future holds. It's all a drop of the donut landing icing side up if you are lucky and things work out for the best.
Who can honestly say that the biological father, once he has regained custody, won't have a mental break down and kill the entire family then commit suicide? Who can honestly say the the biological father, or one of his relatives won't sexually, emotionally or mentally abuse this child?

Who can honestly say that a neighbor of the adoptive family won't have a mean dog that breaks out of the back yard and attacks and mauls the child to death? Who can honestly say that a meteor won't land on the adoptive family's house, killing everyone inside?

These are all called "strawman fallacies" and are worthless.

No one knows what the future holds. No one here knows the families involved personally. Many people know that ripping a child away from the only family she has known is, in nearly all cases, very detrimental to the child. Even in cases where there is abuse, taking a child away from family (adoptive or otherwise) is terribly disruptive and should only be done when the child is actually known to be at risk. Can you honestly say that is the case here? No you can't and neither can I.
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Old 02-10-2017, 04:12 PM
 
888 posts, read 552,977 times
Reputation: 1984
I find this terrible. If he cared about the well being of that child, he would let her be. Regardless of HIS wants to all of a sudden be a dad, he would see she is secure and stable and just leave it. Very selfish of the bio dad to do this.
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Old 02-10-2017, 04:15 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
23,911 posts, read 32,232,721 times
Reputation: 67861
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
Emotional custody battle for South Carolina adoptive family - CBS News

Couple Fights To Keep Adopted Girl From Biological Father - CBSN Live Video - CBS News (video)

Stories like this make me so mad.

This guy was in jail, never cared about his kid, his wife was a drug addict and gave the girl up for adoption.

Now this loser's mother is getting involved and trying to get the little girl back, when they've never even met her! And he says his life is put together now - Ha! He's living with Mommy!

That precious little girl should stay with the adoptive parents!

Thank you convextech for sharing this story. I am both SICKENED and HEARTBROKEN when I read stories such as this one! It happens too many times! The only people involved with adoption who's feelings are taken into consideration and regarded by the courts seem to be the biological parents.

There is absolutely no regard for the PARENTS (adoptive) what so ever. And the child, who's feelings should come first - comes LAST.

There are some people who have made egregious mistakes in life that to my mind disqualify them from parenthood. They screw up, proclaim to have straightened themselves out - and then procede to act like entitled little brats and demand their child or children back.

And for some reason, the courts increasingly favor the whims of these dirt bags.

As a parent by both birth and adoption, I despise the saying "Blood is thicker than water".

If these biological "parent"s REALLY cared for their children they would not barge into their lives, taking them away from the only home and parents they have ever had.
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Old 02-10-2017, 04:28 PM
 
Location: BC
112 posts, read 132,169 times
Reputation: 626
As someone who was adopted, my biological parents mean absolutely nothing to me. Bio dad is complete scum in this case. Being blood relations is one of the most overrated things.
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Old 02-10-2017, 04:43 PM
 
Location: Ohio
15,701 posts, read 16,982,620 times
Reputation: 22090
Quote:
Originally Posted by canadiangirl_2015 View Post
I find this terrible. If he cared about the well being of that child, he would let her be. Regardless of HIS wants to all of a sudden be a dad, he would see she is secure and stable and just leave it. Very selfish of the bio dad to do this.

Exactly.


In cases like these, the mere fact that the biological parent puts their wants and their feelings ahead of the welfare of the child is more than enough proof that they are unfit to parent that child.


I can't even imagine the psychological damage done to children like this who are ripped away from the only parents they have ever known and loved.
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Old 02-10-2017, 06:06 PM
 
Location: Midland, MI
510 posts, read 714,016 times
Reputation: 1138
This happened in my hometown and emotions were pretty strong about allowing the child to stay where she was at. The bio parents even said, "the people of City X are all against us." Yep, and pretty much just like this story.
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Old 02-10-2017, 07:54 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
23,911 posts, read 32,232,721 times
Reputation: 67861
Quote:
Originally Posted by the searchers View Post
You would think the emotional welfare of the child would come first over considerations for a parent who the child does not know.
THIS! But instead the ONLY PERSON who is being taken into consideration, as usual - is the person who screwed up and never planned upon having a family in the first place
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Old 02-10-2017, 07:56 PM
 
Location: Somewhere in America
15,479 posts, read 15,542,365 times
Reputation: 28462
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
So anyone who goes to prison, pays their court ordered debt to society, gets out, lives with family, trying to re-establish their lives has no right to be a parent to their biological child?
According to who? YOU?
Just because you *assume* they are *acting* like they have it together and they live with their *mommy* (your words)
does not mean the situation is true.
There are in theory *educated, law abiding citizens* who *live with their mommy* who also have a child/children
either in or out of wedlock.
Perhaps they should not have the right to be biological parents either.


Also, the *assumption* that money is involved so they want the child is merely an assumption.
There are actual ex-convicts and drug users who do straighten up, just ask Tim Allen, Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings,
Robert Downey Jr., etc.
His rights were terminated by a judge before he got out of prison.
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