Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I would have 150% eloped if my husband wasn't so dead set on having a wedding. It was required with him that we have a wedding. It ended up being a really terrible day for me. I mean, I am glad we are married. But wedding and the details were all about him.
I didn't want to have a wedding but my husband really wanted to have one so we did.
Why does everyone care what she spent her money on anyway? She didn't ask you for money. And all of the things that people complain about give other people jobs/business---catering, florists, drivers, etc. If everyone just ran to city hall or eloped, many of these people wouldn't have businesses.
Where I live, even if you wanted to rent a hall/space, one of the cheapest ones I could find for my wedding is now 4K for four hours. It's nothing fancy. Luckily this space at least comes with tables and chairs---most of the spaces come with nothing and are a minimum of 5K. (Unless you're doing something in a catering hall then you're not necessarily just renting the space.) Also where I live, there aren't really backyards for people to hold receptions.
I don't think the price was THAT out of line for a standard wedding reception. She had 170 guests.
I got married in 1989 and had 160 people. It was your basic reception at a hotel with a cocktail hour, open bar and the chicken entree because it's cheaper than the beef. It ran about $10k. 28 years later, $30K doesn't seem too far off for something similar, although it was Indianapolis, where I'm guessing everything's got to be cheaper than NJ.
It's true that the wedding doesn't make the marriage. Mine sucked and only lasted 11 years. But people had a blast at pur wedding and talked about it for years.
It was at the time that it was still unusual to have a wedding DJ rather than live music. We got a 7-piece band for the price of 5 because there was a cancellation. That made the whole night. Everyone was on the dance floor.
I had dinner with a former coworker recently. He spent $80k on his daughter's eedding, but he says it wiped out his reserves.
My second marriage, we did it at Sandals in Jamaica. They include the wedding, a bouquet, a wedding dinner and a cake
( with options to upgrade of course ). I took my parents and we all had five days in paradise, plus the wedding for about 7k.
I'm sorry that this lady didn't get her dream wedding for her 30k, but hopefully she can still get a dream wedding at some point. She sure wracked up some good Karma points with her kind actions.
For whatever her reasons are that the wedding was cancelled, she did a good thing by donating the reception to the homeless. The big money was already spent, the food purchased, the cake created. The homeless who benefited from her generosity received a nice meal and cake, at a nice location. I am sure it brightened their day.
Kudos to her.
I didn't want to have a wedding but my husband really wanted to have one so we did.
Why does everyone care what she spent her money on anyway? She didn't ask you for money. And all of the things that people complain about give other people jobs/business---catering, florists, drivers, etc. If everyone just ran to city hall or eloped, many of these people wouldn't have businesses.
Where I live, even if you wanted to rent a hall/space, one of the cheapest ones I could find for my wedding is now 4K for four hours. It's nothing fancy. Luckily this space at least comes with tables and chairs---most of the spaces come with nothing and are a minimum of 5K. (Unless you're doing something in a catering hall then you're not necessarily just renting the space.) Also where I live, there aren't really backyards for people to hold receptions.
I'm getting married in 9 days. The two biggest expenses is the reception and the food/drinks. I believe there are many on these forums that are ignorant of the fact. $30,0000 for a wedding is not far off. The Ritz Charles Venue is upper scale. Probably close to $10,000. Food alone probably cost between $30 to $40 per plate.
Our neighbor's granddaughter had an "over the top" wedding (probably would have cost $200,000 or more in today's money) and filed for divorce from her husband within weeks.
We found out later that the bride was having second thoughts for several months but she & her mother had been planning the wedding for so long (perhaps two years) and dad had paid so many non-refundable deposits that she was afraid to say anything except just "hint" about having second thoughts. In their case the bride & groom paid nothing towards the wedding and the bride kept all of the wedding gifts. The bride & groom were only about 20 years old, which probably was part of the problem.
BTW, I think that the $30,000 was just the cost of the food & drink & things at the reception, not the whole cost of the wedding.
Heck if Kim Kardashian can do it, why can't your neighbor's grand daughter do the same? LOL.
I do have to wonder...how many people go through with a wedding because of how much money they put into it. 30K isn't actually a lot for a wedding (but it is a lot of money, don't get me wrong). I don't like big expensive weddings. Mine was very low key and didn't cost much. But...like if you are the bride and your dad spent 75K on it...would that impact your feelings about canceling it?
That would be a very difficult situation for both the bride and the father. Now as an old man knowing what I have seen my advice to the bride would be run NOW.
There are those things that you can honestly argue one way or another whether it's a wise use of money or not, and then there are those things, like a $30,000 party, that are always a waste of resources. There are some people who can sneeze away $30,000 like it's nothing but those are not the average sort of people. For most people, if you save up that much money there are many wiser and more responsible ways to utilize it. That you could disagree over what those ways might be does not negate that fact.
No, there are things you think are a waste.
Personally, I wouldn't spend anywhere near that sort of money. But I've bought some very nice Scotch that wasn't cheap. I enjoy nice dinners that run hundreds of dollars. I have a television and have gone on vacations and have two cats. Do you know what all of those things have in common? They are completely and totally unnecessary. Their value to me is entirely subjective, resting solely on whether or not I would rather have those things and those experiences than they money they cost to obtain.
That's it.
Nothing more.
The exact same is true of a wedding costing $30k. Not my thing, but I'm not such a narcissist that I think it's inherently not worth spending the money just because I wouldn't.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
