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She's dead, now. But it might have been useful while she was still alive. There must have been recourse that she didn't avail herself of: a school guidance counselor, a trusted teacher, the school nurse, somebody! And why didn't the parents try to talk to school admin? She called a family member the morning of her death, crying, but wouldn't say what the problem was? She thought they wouldn't understand? Why wouldn't they understand? This is heartbreaking! She reached out, but very ineffectively.
Damn! I didn't read the story and just went by the thread title. I thought they hanged her inside the bathroom and called her stupid pole.
I read the article and saw her pics. I feel the bullying had to due with the fact that this girl was very pretty. The other girls might have been jealous and spiteful over that (i mean if you are ugly then you need to blame your parents for procreating!)
Got to go with you there . They were mean as h&$^ to me all through school and my daughters had some issues with it but my sons did not . I have one daughter who after a year of bullying actually got into a fight so bad she threw this girl under the stopped school bus. She had terrorized my older daughter and at the time my 4th grader even after school hours and threatened to come to OUR HOUSE thinking she was going to have a go at me ( big mistake there ) and my HUSBAND with 4 other girls to back her up , I thought I was in the Twighlight Zone . I am NOT condoning what my daughter did ( 17 at the time and now works as a funeral director at age 23 ), but in court my daughter was found not guilty and frankly was glad I didn't have to answer when the girls family said I was ok with the incident - they would not have liked what I would have had to say - in front of the judge . .
I like to hear some input from the British members of this forum about their take on racism and anti-immigration violence in the aftermath of the Brexit vote.
Anti-immigrant bigotry. It's always been around. Germans and Italians went through that in the early 1900's in the US.
Damn! I didn't read the story and just went by the thread title. I thought they hanged her inside the bathroom and called her stupid pole.
I read the article and saw her pics. I feel the bullying had to due with the fact that this girl was very pretty. The other girls might have been jealous and spiteful over that (i mean if you are ugly then you need to blame your parents for procreating!)
It's unclear if it was a suicide or a murder. The investigation is ongoing. And yes, I posted the same thought earlier, about their motive for bullying her.
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Any "kick ass and take names" solutions work only if you are able to do so in the first place. It's also victim-blaming - in this case for not being able to defend herself (physically or socially), but any other kind of undesirable trait also qualifies (weirdness, having odd habits or hobbies or dress, social cluelessness, gullibility - the list is potentially endless). It's as if ass-kicking ability is the main yardstick with which to measure a person's deservance of even the basics of dignity and respect (read: not getting indignity and disrespect).
Instead of focusing on what the victim should have done, the better approach is to change the culture so that kind of behavior is unacceptable - the same techniques used to stigmatize racism, homophobia, sexism, smoking, drinking and driving, and (increasingly) transphobia.
I wonder if immigrants from the Mid-East are told to go back to their own countries.
Those kids are taught from a very early age that there will be absolutely zero tolerance of any negative attention given to the "Asian" students. The eastern euros are the only ones they are still allowed to hate and bully, so they get it in spades.
I like to hear some input from the British members of this forum about their take on racism and anti-immigration violence in the aftermath of the Brexit vote.
I grew up and went to school in Manchester, we had poles who couldn't speak English, no-one bothered them. I became life long friends with a Diaczuk family, great people.
Kids will zero in on self centered types though.
Suicide is an extreme form of selfishness.
I see so called "bullying" as an unsophisticated response to self centered kids.
No-one has the power to make someone kill themself. It was already there.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jonesg
I grew up and went to school in Manchester, we had poles who couldn't speak English, no-one bothered them. I became life long friends with a Diaczuk family, great people.
"Some of my best friends are black" doesn't fly as an excuse in the US (and no doubt the UK too). The same logic applies to Poles - and any other kind of human difference you can imagine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonesg
Kids will zero in on self centered types though.
Suicide is an extreme form of selfishness.
What prevents them from zeroing in on unselfish types, especially if a lot of people with trouble setting boundaries as mere dupes that deserve to be taken advantage of? Do you really think people who have trouble with boundary-setting tend to be the selfish types?
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonesg
I see so called "bullying" as an unsophisticated response to self centered kids.
Again, even assuming it's an unsophisticated response to the self-centered kids, it's much more often an unsophisticated response to people traditionally considered "distastefully different" in some way (not just on race, ethnicity, religion, orientation, and gender identity, just to name five).
Quote:
Originally Posted by jonesg
No-one has the power to make someone kill themself. It was already there.
I know its popular to believe that humans are in total control of their emotions, or even their destiny, but that just isn't the case - at least in any relevant time frame. By that logic, I have to say that nobody has the power to make you disrespect people who are slow-witted, weak, strange, easily duped, etc. Yet I've seen MANY people kneejerkedly react with almost maniacal spite toward such people - including many people on C-D (Although I agree it is somewhat possible for many or most people to train themselves out of being irritated or annoyed over nitpicky superficially annoying traits like this I just mentioned - but even that takes extensive reprogramming to even partially accomplish. Even then, there's the issue of victim-blaming, i.e. use the "pull yourself together" argument against the victim, implicitly absolving the perpetrator of any responsibility for their actions).
It was a long time ago but I was severely bullied in high school.
No amount of reaching out or confiding or being positive ever helped me!
I don't know how things are now but I was basically told to handle it myself; to be the mature one and be diplomatic.
I was shy and scared to death but was told I was "stuck on myself".
I was the one who got detention after being beaten up (the usual 6-7 against one) in gym class!
Some of us just can't handle it.
And if "no one " has the power to make others do anything , cults etc would not exist.
Hmm makes me want to study and listen to some debates on "free will".
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