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Accidents happen. This was a tragic one, but not the fault of the parents. They will forever be consumed with this, wondering if there wasn't more they should have done. That's sad. It can and might drive them both insane. At the least it might drive them to divorce level as each parent starts blaming the other for not being more attentive.
It isn't possible for a parent to watch their child every second of the day. That's simply not reality... except in the minds of The Perfect.
For sure! Or a grandparent. I've spent the summer babysitting my two grandsons (4 3/4 and 22 months). We put up a baby gate between the kitchen/great room and the rest of the house, (where we spend most of our time to keep the 22 month old off the stairs). He found a route...through the bathroom, my adjoining room (which was half of the "double parlor" in their very old house), the "toy room" (the other half of the "double parlor") and up the stairs. Quick as a flash. He bumps his head constantly. I took them to the indoor "play land" of the mall while his mom (my DD) got her hair done. Everything is manufactured "soft" so as not to cause an injury. What does he do? Walks into things. Entered the "hollow log" tunnel without crouching, bumping his head and making himself cry. I'm sitting there, and every one is looking at me as he's suddenly bawling like a Banshee, as if I'd jumped across the room to smack him. Every night, his mom (my DD) would ask me, "How did he get this bruise/skinned knee, etc.?" Fortunately, she believes me when I tell her. "He walked into the side of the house, a wall, he tripped over his feet, etc." A couple of times his older brother DID slap or sock him a good one, for which he was given no TV for a week. No spanking allowed.
When DD and son-in-law were first house hunting, they seriously considered an awesome Victorian painted lady...with an unfenced inground pool, adjoining woods...ending in a swamp and the river at the bottom of the property. Imagine that place with two boys. A grandma's stroke factory. I had nightmares about that place. It was painted a nice pastel green, but looked like "The Munsters", although a bit smaller, Still, three stories...plus a tower room...stairs...pool...swamp...woods...river.
Last edited by Mrs. Skeffington; 08-22-2018 at 11:01 AM..
I care more about the lost children than the feelings of the parents, and the idea is to prevent this from happening as much as possible using practical methods. I don't view the photo as helpful. Watching them IS #1, but also making some sacrifices when the children are very young. Life is different with kids and adjustments need to be made.
Perhaps it is a poor idea to have a swimming pool at all at a home with very young children who cannot swim. Or simply drain and cover your pool until the children are older and have learned to swim. They can scale the darned fences.
Same standards for visiting houses with pools. If there's water in it, you don't bring the kid or you commit to watch the kid the entire time. Never ever depend on fences or gates.
My family had a lake house, drowning would be super easy in that dark water. Lots of kids visiting for parties and cookouts. Safety standards were strict and if any parent didn't follow them they were uninvited. Sorry if that is expecting too much perfection, but the homeowners didn't want drowned kids.
Same standards for visiting houses with pools. If there's water in it, you don't bring the kid or you commit to watch the kid the entire time. Never ever depend on fences or gates.
My family had a lake house, drowning would be super easy in that dark water. Lots of kids visiting for parties and cookouts. Safety standards were strict and if any parent didn't follow them they were uninvited. Sorry if that is expecting too much perfection, but the homeowners didn't want drowned kids.
It’s not much different than when before proms, schools have police bring a wrecked car that teens were killed in drinking and driving, or even stage an accident complete with bloody “victims”. It’s one thing to tell people what can happen, but a visual is often more powerful.
I think it's very different. Both situations you described above do not show actual people suffering. Someone else's suffering is being shown for whatever expense, and that's not necessary at all. I can't even look at the photo in the OP nor the video I mentioned, so I don't even want to read about the story.
Remember the fried egg commercial back in the 80's, "...this is your brain on drugs"? I was only a kid back then, and even that commercial taught me a lot more.
I think Bode's wife should take down that photo. Their story was already on the news the first time they posted about this on their Instagram, and no disturbing photo was used back then. Besides, don't do drugs and watching your little kids especially around pools should be a given.
I'm not sure why some of you are convoluting the issue which is clear. It is our responsibility to be vigilant at home or wherever we take our kids. This is about education to reduce accidents and it is fully up to the parents to be aware. That is why they are speaking out.
'It is 100 per cent preventable. You need to think of water completely differently. [It's] sort of like sitting here and I am looking outside at my pool and that is a lion.
'That is a lion, that is a kidnapper. That is something that could take my child in 30 seconds.
Quote:
'Guilt is a very painful thing,' Morgan said. 'And even though it's awful and living with it is terrible, and I hope and pray and beg that it gets easier, I am now much more aware in that area to make sure it doesn't ever happen again.'
The volleyball player explained the importance of scanning the surroundings of a house to make sure there were no open areas of water that could pose a threat.
'When you go to someone else's house, survey the home to see if it's a safe place for your child to be,' she said.
Every house on their block has a swimming pool, of course. Their own pool has a standard fence that a kid can scale.
Thing is if it was really a lion you wouldn't keep it in your back yard and play with it.
But she gave practical advice. Water is the number one danger for young children, so let's be aware of that.
Yes, this was preventable. And yes, when you go to someone else's house, you should survey the home to see if it's a safe place. No one is arguing that. But even with the most attentive parents, accidents still happen. You can reduce risk. You can't eliminate it. It is impossible to have eyes on your children 100% of the time.
And I notice you didn't answer whether you have children, so I'll take that as a no.
When my son was two he slipped going around a step at the family pool. Face down and to the bottom. It was a close friend that scooped him up..otherwise he would have been a goner. My husband at the time was indifferent to the entire scenario. My eldest son was the one who told me about it since I was at work that day. So yes in a blink it can happen. From that day forward my mil had arm swimmies and little vests for any child even wandering outside near the pool. She made it a rule and heaven help any kid who tried to take off the vest on her watch.
I refuse to add insult to these grieving parents. Shoulda coulda woulda folks need to exit stage left. It doesn't heal these broken hearts...
When my son was two he slipped going around a step at the family pool. Face down and to the bottom. It was a close friend that scooped him up..otherwise he would have been a goner. My husband at the time was indifferent to the entire scenario. My eldest son was the one who told me about it since I was at work that day. So yes in a blink it can happen. From that day forward my mil had arm swimmies and little vests for any child even wandering outside near the pool. She made it a rule and heaven help any kid who tried to take off the vest on her watch.
I refuse to add insult to these grieving parents. Shoulda coulda woulda folks need to exit stage left. It doesn't heal these broken hearts...
Bode wasn't there so nothing he could have done, but Morgan is mostly taking responsibility that she was less vigilant than she might have been, it is more offensive to her to deny her truth than to acknowledge it.
Your story doesn't help, what is with your husband ignoring your child almost drowning and the mil having to deal with your children's safety.
I guess people really love their swimming pools.
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