Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I should have specified "dinner date." I figured most would assume that's what I meant considering the discussion at hand. But yeah, dinner date.
Thank you. That makes perfect sense. No, I couldn't assume, in view of all the threads on this topic, and the all-too-typical posts they attract, on the Relationships forum.
How did you come to the conclusion that this is done with regularity? I'm getting long in the tooth so in my dating days it was by default that if a man asked you out he would be paying for the date. Its just the way it was. Never did I order the most expensive meal. On the contrary I was very consciousnesses of the price and tried to order the least expensive meal, no dessert, etc.
Last time I dated was 15 years ago and most first dates were not dinner. They were coffee or bars for a drink. Anyway, if I were dating again I would always insist on going dutch. Most guys are cheap bastards anyway and I'm not going to feel obligated because they paid for a cup of coffee.
According to ^ link, guy was all romantic, touchy- feely and kissy during the date, before dashing.
In at least one situation, he arrived early and consumed a full meal before his date arrived and then ordered another meal.
Sounds to me like he went out of his way to appeal to the hopeful fantasies of some women.
He was still doing it? He should have gotten a longer jail sentence. He's pathetic. I've read enough about him to realize that he's probably a gay man who hates women for some reason. He also still lives at home with his mother even though he's in his 40s. None of this stuff he's doing will change the fact that he's a loser.
I'm struggling with whether this is technically a crime.
Women do this with REAL regularity, either doing the exact same thing and feigning needing to go to the bathroom and exiting during a bad date, or indicating interest in the relationship and ordering lobster and steak and the most expensive bottle of wine, and then coldly leaving at the end. Is that the same?
I do not think this is a real crime, so long as it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to go out on a date with a man, accept a free meal or a free drink, and never talk to him again. I think that's theft. Almost every woman is guilty of theft. The stories that I could tell from my dating life are astounding. I can recall a date where a woman faked a headache to get off a date with me. I recall a date ending in good kissing but not sex and the woman never replies to a text message for a next date. This behavior is abhorrent.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Reefmonkey
The practice of women expecting men to feed them and cover their bar tab is sexist and objectifies men as well as women. It objectifies men because it reduces them to basically a source of income, and objectifies women because they are basically selling the opportunity for their company for the cost of a drink or a meal. It also puts the relationship on unequal footing – it is the man’s responsibility to pursue and woo the woman by lavishing her with drinks and meals, and reinforces the dangerous notion that now the woman “owes” the man for his “generosity.” And even in the bad old days, it was never good manners. If you read an old Emily Post or Amy Vanderbilt etiquette guide from the 50s, yes, women were not supposed to “pay” for a man as that was emasculating or other such bull, but if a woman accepted an invitation from a man and wanted him to keep inviting her out, she was supposed to reciprocate his invitations on a fairly even level by inviting him to do things – and the rules were that whoever extended the invitation was supposed to provide the entertainment and refreshments. So to avoid the appearance of “paying for the man”, women invited men over for a home cooked meal, or told the little white lie that they had “found” or been “given” theatre tickets. Now that we live in the 21st Century, women can pick up the check at restaurants too, and should be ready to do so as often as men do, if we really want gender parity in society.
I do not agree with the idea of men paying for dates. As someone who has been single in the 21st Century, I have not liked that there were many times where I've paid for a first date for a woman making a higher salary than I have made because of some outmoded principle of men paying for stuff. The whole thing feels like extortion. Guys have to pay for dates still even with women supporting themselves because if one guy won't, women have a whole slew of options of guys that will do so.
I stopped going on dinner dates in restaurants until I had sex with a woman. But even drinks or activities dates (the more common early stage dates I had) are costly. I'm surprised that anyone still does dinner dates. I thought people knew by now that dinner dates were terrible early stage dates.
Obviously the dine-and-dash guy has issues he needs to resolve, but 13 years of prison punishment seems quite excessive. Bar him from online dating sites, pay back the women he screwed, go to therapy and do community service.
I do not think this is a real crime, so long as it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to go out on a date with a man, accept a free meal or a free drink, and never talk to him again. I think that's theft. Almost every woman is guilty of theft. The stories that I could tell from my dating life are astounding. I can recall a date where a woman faked a headache to get off a date with me. I recall a date ending in good kissing but not sex and the woman never replies to a text message for a next date. This behavior is abhorrent.
I think you misunderstood my post, RJ. It's one thing to go out with a man, accept his offer to buy a drink or a meal and then decide the relationship won't work out. That's dating.
If you go to a medium priced restaurant, and she orders an average priced meal or a bar and she orders an average priced drink, and then says she's not interested in a further relationship at the end of the evening - that's how that works.
Just because you bought her a meal doesn't chain her to you for a relationship.
And that, IMHO, is an ENTIRELY different thing from a woman or a man who goes on a date with absolutely no intention of finding out if they might be interested in a relationship, and ordering 4X the cost of what you expect to pay, and then leaving.
Which women do, just as this man did.
It seems like a fine line, but to me, it's all the difference in the world.
And wow about the woman who faked a headache to get out of being with you - do you have any idea what was so off-putting?
I do not think this is a real crime, so long as it is perfectly acceptable for a woman to go out on a date with a man, accept a free meal or a free drink, and never talk to him again. I think that's theft. Almost every woman is guilty of theft. The stories that I could tell from my dating life are astounding. I can recall a date where a woman faked a headache to get off a date with me. I recall a date ending in good kissing but not sex and the woman never replies to a text message for a next date. This behavior is abhorrent.
The same old false equivalency.
If a woman asks a man out on a date, she should expect to pay. If the man asks, it's on him. If the two come to another agreement, fine.
This guy was asking these women out for the sole purpose of ditching the check.
I'll willing to bet the the women who declined second dates with you or to have sex with you in exchange for dinner aren't the ones who did the asking.
Last edited by Metlakatla; 01-05-2019 at 06:40 PM..
Obviously the dine-and-dash guy has issues he needs to resolve, but 13 years of prison punishment seems quite excessive. Bar him from online dating sites, pay back the women he screwed, go to therapy and do community service.
He didn't get 13 years in prison. He got 120 days.
I hope he gets convicted and serves every single day. How crazy is it to do something so outrageous on numerous occasions?
Me too. The news will get out and discourage other dine-and-dash scammers. This has happened a lot in my area, and its not right. You are using someone else as your accomplice in committing a crime, and they don't even know it until the restaurant staff looks at them to cover the bill. Plenty of times this unwitting participant in the free meal has to deal with the Police on the dashers behalf.
If you want to rob a meal, don't drag innocent people into your scam. If you do, prepare to do a nice stretch of time for everyone's inconvenience. It wont stop until it becomes not worth doing.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
