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Old Today, 08:38 AM
 
Location: Los Angeles County
11,590 posts, read 9,570,362 times
Reputation: 30798

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Quote:
Originally Posted by kovert View Post
So much venom & vitriol towards the metabolically challenged.


Shameful.
No the "venom & vitriol" is towards idiots who can't mind their own business and then fat shame themselves.
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Old Today, 03:43 PM
 
10,129 posts, read 6,759,430 times
Reputation: 23782
If he said anything to her, I would totally get her POV. And I see her pic, she would fit just fine in her own seat (this comes from someone who has been thin, chubby, typical, big, and all in-betweens and flew in all states, I know the seats). But he didnt say anything *to* her...she read his personal text message. Unless he did it on purpose for her to see it, which is possible, and maybe it did happen...she just doesn't get to be mad. He could write a letter about having his privacy invaded by some crazy lady on a plane for reading over his shoulder.
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Old Today, 04:06 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
407 posts, read 117,763 times
Reputation: 284
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
If he said anything to her, I would totally get her POV. And I see her pic, she would fit just fine in her own seat (this comes from someone who has been thin, chubby, typical, big, and all in-betweens and flew in all states, I know the seats). But he didnt say anything *to* her...she read his personal text message. Unless he did it on purpose for her to see it, which is possible, and maybe it did happen...she just doesn't get to be mad. He could write a letter about having his privacy invaded by some crazy lady on a plane for reading over his shoulder.
Yep - he never fat-shamed her. Having a private text conversation is not fat shaming.
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Old Today, 06:14 PM
 
10,129 posts, read 6,759,430 times
Reputation: 23782
Quote:
Originally Posted by CorporateCowboy View Post
Yep - he never fat-shamed her. Having a private text conversation is not fat shaming.
Well...he was being a jerk if it is all true. But at least he was keeping it to himself and friend. Still, total jerk. But she shouldn't have read his texts. I sometimes have the ability to read other people's texts, but to me that is spying...so I don't. I look away. Unless he shoved it in her face, she should have looked away. But I do wonder if there was more...........

I have to give the writer some leeway that maybe he was eye rolling, or being rude in other ways. Or he put his texts easily out there for her to read. Maybe. But as the story is told...no. We all say things in text that is private on some level...no one should attempt to read them. That is an invasion of privacy. But maybe there was more? Maybe not? Maybe she went on looking for a fight? I am not sure. But she just shouldn't have read his texts unless he was volunteering them. If she did read his texts because of his behavior, I do feel like she would have mentioned that. That gets my attention.

What he might have said to the flight attendant was "the lady who sat down next to me seems to be looking for drama. She read my texts and took them out of context and confronted me and I am uncomfortable that she might raise the stakes". And the flight attendant might have said "we don't have another seat now. Just ignore her and don't make an issue out of it. If she carries on, we will take over. But try to keep the peace". Because, honesty, as much of a jerk as he might have been for sending those messages (if he did), it does seem like her behavior was worse (reading someone's private texts, jumping to conclusions and then attacking him).

Let me tell you about "fat shaming" in real life...it is real. Very real.

At my highest weight (as I said I have been from thin to quite heavy in my adult life...and all in between, more then once) my husband and I went to a local casual french restaurant. You ordered in a line, waited at the table with your number for a server to bring it out, but the food was quite good.

It was a cool summer evening so we took a two seat table outside on the balcony. We were ready to enjoy our time together. Next to us was a table of two women who were eating and chatting. I paid no attention to them. Quickly the server brought out my and my husband's meal. Being larger...I did feel anxious about eating in public. So there is no way I was eating gross or even over-eating. I knew the looks I got for that and didn't want that attention (yes it happens...alot!). 2 or 3 bites in, a woman at the next table pushed her full meal away and declared to her friend....

"I just cant eat near fat people. It tasted good before she sat down (side glancing at me). I am so disgusted, I cant have another bite. Why would any fat person eat in public? Don't they know how disgusting they are". She shoved her plate a bit further away. I looked up with heart break in my eyes. Her dining companion couldn't speak. Not to her "friend" and not to me. My husband didnt hear it but saw the humiliation and distress in my eyes. He took a few bites and we headed for the car.

I was SHAMED for being FAT. I was not allowed to eat a meal with my husband without the verbal assault that took place (I paraphrased, it was more then what I wrote).

I was so shamed, it still affects me now...at a "normal" weight. It fed into eating disorders, and anxiety. This stupid shell of a person took up alot of space in my head.

That is "fat shaming".....

What this guy said, if out loud is fat shaming. But in a private text...it is nothing. Maybe he was showing off, maybe he is a jerk, maybe she even misread the texts? Then again, maybe he was awful and let her see the texts, maybe he rolled his eyes or made other comments, etc.

The bottom line is "fat shaming" does happen. But it doesn't feel like this is what happened in this situation.
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Old Today, 06:51 PM
 
Location: San Francisco
407 posts, read 117,763 times
Reputation: 284
Of course fat-shaming happens, but even if he was being a jerk with the person he was texting, that’s not fat-shaming. If he was, public backlash against him would be enormous (and rightfully so) - but it really happened in reverse (she posted him on social media to shame him) and yet we’re still talking about how he ‘might’ have been a jerk in his private conversation to someone? This particular situation is on her - her post was meant to shame him because she was hurt (of her own accord) by invading his privacy and reading his text.
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