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Old 03-14-2019, 05:19 PM
 
Location: Texas
1,299 posts, read 1,187,612 times
Reputation: 1366

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Is everyone stupid? Am I the only one who can see from the article that the dad was involved too?

Life for both of those bastards.
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Old 03-14-2019, 06:35 PM
 
Location: Washington state
5,044 posts, read 2,554,596 times
Reputation: 14962
Abortion in the US hadn't even been legal for 10 years at that time and it was in South Dakota, a fairly religious state that's pretty restrictive on abortion today in 2019. You can only imagine what South Dakota was like then. She may not have wanted to have an abortion anyway, but if she did, she probably wouldn't have had a lot of options for getting one. Honestly, given what's going on today, I'm not surprised that this isn't going to happen more and more. Women will just be burying the bodies a little deeper so they're never found.
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Old 03-14-2019, 07:48 PM
Status: "The stupidity of commercials is mind-boggling." (set 15 days ago)
 
Location: Spurs country. "Go, Spurs, Go!"
3,218 posts, read 3,803,541 times
Reputation: 8037
Quote:
Originally Posted by cowdog View Post
Is everyone stupid? Am I the only one who can see from the article that the dad was involved too?

Life for both of those bastards.
"Bentaas admitted to having the child in her apartment alone, then driving the baby to the place where he was later discovered..... Webb said the father*of Andrew, Dirk Bentaas, is not facing charges in the case.........Dirk Bentaas admitted he saw Theresa "had a bump and then no bump" around the time Baby Andrew was found......(Dirk) Bentaas admitted to hearing about (Baby Andrew) being found but did not believe the defendant was capable of doing such an act".

She hid the pregnancy from everyone. The father had no idea that a newborn that was found was his, she never told him and he probably never asked (if she was pregnant, did she do this, etc). He was not complicit in the act that she alone committed. This is how I personally am reading the story as it is written/reported and explains why he was not charged. Who knows, that may change.........
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Old 03-14-2019, 08:17 PM
 
Location: Michigan
2,107 posts, read 1,337,281 times
Reputation: 4721
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
Not arguing but what sort of options did she have 38 years ago as an pregnant unmarried teenager?
I have also read some "experts" say that newborn abandonment is normally not premeditated but impulsive.
ANYTHING other than murder. Keep it, adopt it out, leave it somewhere guaranteed to be found right away. I don't agree with this, but even try to sell it as a last resort. That sure beats flat-out killing it, as she had to know what would happen leaving it in a DITCH.

Murder? I have no sympathy for her whatsoever. There's too many people out there incapable of having a baby, and wanting one that would be able to adopt.
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Old 03-15-2019, 06:19 AM
 
Location: Posting from my space yacht.
7,641 posts, read 2,912,868 times
Reputation: 13756
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
There were not safe haven laws in 1981. She would have been arrested and she was probably in denial about the pregnancy and birth.

I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand I guess its good the case was solved. On the other, putting all that time and energy into investigating and prosecuting a woman 38 years later for something she did as a scared 19 year old seems fruitless. Either way it is sad and shameful that that a woman would leave her newborn to die and more so that our society would support conditions where a women would feel so shamed, scared and alone that it would seem her only option.
I went in to this thread with mixed feelings as well but when I read the bit about the "you are loved" pin my feelings became decidedly less mixed. I know it's not rational but that really got my goat. What utter crap. Talk about your cold comfort.
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Old 03-15-2019, 08:20 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
21,013 posts, read 21,186,381 times
Reputation: 21048
Quote:
Originally Posted by MikeBear View Post
ANYTHING other than murder. Keep it, adopt it out, leave it somewhere guaranteed to be found right away. I don't agree with this, but even try to sell it as a last resort. That sure beats flat-out killing it, as she had to know what would happen leaving it in a DITCH.

Murder? I have no sympathy for her whatsoever. There's too many people out there incapable of having a baby, and wanting one that would be able to adopt.
Is keeping it or adoption an option when your obviously terrified to let anyone know your even pregnant?
Leaving it to be found would come back to her and she would have to face all the shame and fear she was avoiding to begin with and then face prosecution. Selling it, same.

Keep in mind I'm not defending her just looking into the mental state of teens/women who do this. It is not so black and white, cut and dried. People argue that the human brain is not "mature" until about age 25. They use this argument to justify limiting freedoms to those under a certain age like having sex, marriage, voting, drinking, signing contracts, etc. There are lots of studies on how stress and desperation influence our thought processes as well as how pregnancy hormonal imbalance affect a women's mental and emotional state.

Whether or not there are others who are infertile has no bearing on the state of mind of someone facing a taboo pregnancy possible with no support or even worse facing retribution from family and society in general. This was in 1981. There were no safe haven laws, there were few organizations or programs to help unmarried pregnant women and society was certainly not accepting of unmarried pregnant women.

Given all this I can understand what would drive a young teen to behave so irrationally (again understanding not defending) and thankfully society has come around and put some safeguards in place to try and prevent these kind of things. I'm not sure we are all the way there yet as abandoning infants still goes on.
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Old 03-15-2019, 11:31 AM
 
Location: colorado springs, CO
4,516 posts, read 2,065,197 times
Reputation: 15516
Man, it's getting deep in here!

Quote:
... The couple has two living adult children...
Well, there but for the grace of God went them! Good God, this was in 1981 in the U.S.; not some radical Muslim state in the M.E. where it's an; "Off with your head; Infidel!" scenario. This woman gets no pass from me whatsoever (not that my opinion will matter); so what if she was 19 in 1981 & "scared"?

I was a 17-year-old runaway in 1985 & terrified ... I went to the county Health Department clinic & got myself signed up for prenatal care. After months of no-contact with my parents, I brought my mom flowers on Mother's Day & told my parents that they were going to be grandparents soon. I was so scared I puked in the car 3 times on my way over there. I "told" my 20-year-old boyfriend to quit d***ing around with his under-the-table carpet-laying endeavor & to get a real job because I would not be "bringing home baby" to his parent's trailer.

There was plenty of "help" available in the 1980s, I should know; I was the poster-child (not literally) for "Unwed Teenage Mom Living In Poverty". I took the bus to the food pantry, was enrolled in WIC, signed up for LEAP to help pay for utilities & the county gave me vouchers for the local thrift stores & turned my name into a charity organization that sent "church ladies" over to see me every month. Which was slightly annoying but they meant well. When I told them I could just use a dresser drawer as a baby bed, they brought me a bassinet. The hospital sent me home with a car seat, several packages of diapers & a rectal thermometer, bulb syringe, a few receiving blankets & bathing items. You know; because I was a "county patient".

I declined welfare/food stamps because I wasn't raised that way but I wasn't going to turn down tangible donations & anyone who felt differently about the "dole" had that option available to them if they wanted to. We are talking 1980s, people.

WTF do "Safe-Haven" laws have to do with anything? You either leave the baby on a doorstep & run, or you arrange for adoption. Plenty of other girls put their babies up for adoption in the 1980s; I'm pretty sure nobody got tarred & feathered. Put the baby on a doorstep? Don't get caught. Or; go to court for putting a baby on a doorstep. Big deal. Compared to going to court for Murder; at least.

The only thing this woman was a "victim" of was probably being born during the last years of the Boomer's generation & getting pregnant in 1981; when the only people suffering the consequences of the "novelty lifestyles" & the non-traditional gender roles were the kids & teenagers. Unlike those who promoted it. Oh well; I missed that party & got caught up in that agenda too but there were options to Murder, for crap's sake!
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Old 03-15-2019, 11:34 AM
 
36,420 posts, read 13,958,687 times
Reputation: 23031
I too wonder why she didn't just tell her loving family that there was a new member.

Why she didn't tell the boyfriend that joy of joys they were soon to be parents.

Why she didn't go to the nearest county social work office and ask for help. Since the government has so much interest in her carrying the pregnancy to full term, surely they would have had a lot of assistance ready to help her raise the child.

This is all such a mystery.

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Old 03-15-2019, 12:03 PM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
21,013 posts, read 21,186,381 times
Reputation: 21048
Quote:
Originally Posted by coschristi View Post
Man, it's getting deep in here!



Well, there but for the grace of God went them! Good God, this was in 1981 in the U.S.; not some radical Muslim state in the M.E. where it's an; "Off with your head; Infidel!" scenario. This woman gets no pass from me whatsoever (not that my opinion will matter); so what if she was 19 in 1981 & "scared"?

I was a 17-year-old runaway in 1985 & terrified ... I went to the county Health Department clinic & got myself signed up for prenatal care. After months of no-contact with my parents, I brought my mom flowers on Mother's Day & told my parents that they were going to be grandparents soon. I was so scared I puked in the car 3 times on my way over there. I "told" my 20-year-old boyfriend to quit d***ing around with his under-the-table carpet-laying endeavor & to get a real job because I would not be "bringing home baby" to his parent's trailer.

There was plenty of "help" available in the 1980s, I should know; I was the poster-child (not literally) for "Unwed Teenage Mom Living In Poverty". I took the bus to the food pantry, was enrolled in WIC, signed up for LEAP to help pay for utilities & the county gave me vouchers for the local thrift stores & turned my name into a charity organization that sent "church ladies" over to see me every month. Which was slightly annoying but they meant well. When I told them I could just use a dresser drawer as a baby bed, they brought me a bassinet. The hospital sent me home with a car seat, several packages of diapers & a rectal thermometer, bulb syringe, a few receiving blankets & bathing items. You know; because I was a "county patient".

I declined welfare/food stamps because I wasn't raised that way but I wasn't going to turn down tangible donations & anyone who felt differently about the "dole" had that option available to them if they wanted to. We are talking 1980s, people.

WTF do "Safe-Haven" laws have to do with anything? You either leave the baby on a doorstep & run, or you arrange for adoption. Plenty of other girls put their babies up for adoption in the 1980s; I'm pretty sure nobody got tarred & feathered. Put the baby on a doorstep? Don't get caught. Or; go to court for putting a baby on a doorstep. Big deal. Compared to going to court for Murder; at least.

The only thing this woman was a "victim" of was probably being born during the last years of the Boomer's generation & getting pregnant in 1981; when the only people suffering the consequences of the "novelty lifestyles" & the non-traditional gender roles were the kids & teenagers. Unlike those who promoted it. Oh well; I missed that party & got caught up in that agenda too but there were options to Murder, for crap's sake!
Glad things worked out well for you.
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Old 03-15-2019, 01:42 PM
 
Location: S.W. Florida
2,052 posts, read 824,948 times
Reputation: 5754
Quote:
Originally Posted by Delahanty View Post
She said she was "young and stupid" when she left him to die of exposure in a field, during winter.

According to the article, a little pin inscribed with You are loved was pinned to his yellow pajamas.

https://www.usatoday.com/amp/3110501002
Not only was she young and stupid, but she was also cold,heartless,classless,brutal,and a murderer.
Are we supposed to say “gee, it’s ok,after all you were so young and stupid? All is forgiven”.

Not in my book. I have ZERO sympathy for this murdering animal.
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