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Old 09-24-2019, 06:36 PM
 
1,246 posts, read 351,994 times
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Society, when will we get over this idea of big fancy marriage proposals? If simply the prospect of getting married isn't exciting enough for you, maybe you shouldn't be doing it. For that matter, haven't marriage proposals gone the way of the dodo anyway? If a man just "decides" they should get married and the woman is surprised because it's not something they've ever discussed, it's probably not the best idea anyway... and if they *have* discussed it, then why the charade of a big "surprise" proposal? Why should men feel pressured to come up with big fancy impressive ways to propose marriage, and women feel pressured to have a cutesy proposal story to tell? (Oh yes, the pressure is on women too here. No fancy proposal? No huge ring? What, doesn't he love you? Aren't you good enough to merit such a thing? How sad you're marrying someone so boring. You don't want those things in the first place, are you cracked?? Etc.)

(The pressure to do this is even extending to asking people to Prom, FFS, also often with negative consequences like kids pulling stupid, destructive, illegal, or dangerous stunts.)
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Old 09-24-2019, 07:09 PM
 
Location: Seminole County, FL
10,162 posts, read 7,007,862 times
Reputation: 12868
Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144 View Post
Society, when will we get over this idea of big fancy marriage proposals? If simply the prospect of getting married isn't exciting enough for you, maybe you shouldn't be doing it. For that matter, haven't marriage proposals gone the way of the dodo anyway? If a man just "decides" they should get married and the woman is surprised because it's not something they've ever discussed, it's probably not the best idea anyway... and if they *have* discussed it, then why the charade of a big "surprise" proposal? Why should men feel pressured to come up with big fancy impressive ways to propose marriage, and women feel pressured to have a cutesy proposal story to tell? (Oh yes, the pressure is on women too here. No fancy proposal? No huge ring? What, doesn't he love you? Aren't you good enough to merit such a thing? How sad you're marrying someone so boring. You don't want those things in the first place, are you cracked?? Etc.)

(The pressure to do this is even extending to asking people to Prom, FFS, also often with negative consequences like kids pulling stupid, destructive, illegal, or dangerous stunts.)
Chances are, he didn't feel pressured. Sometimes, one just wants to surprise a loved one, to see their reaction, to make them more than just happy. You know, the same kind of joy one sees at the announcement to kids that we're going to Disney World...
I've always taken joy in surprising my loved one, be it my now ex-wife, or current girlfriend, with surprises. It's not for attention, and I actually prefer NOT to have such things paraded on social media. It's for me and her to enjoy.
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Old 09-24-2019, 08:40 PM
 
1,246 posts, read 351,994 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arcenal352 View Post
Chances are, he didn't feel pressured. Sometimes, one just wants to surprise a loved one, to see their reaction, to make them more than just happy. You know, the same kind of joy one sees at the announcement to kids that we're going to Disney World...
I've always taken joy in surprising my loved one, be it my now ex-wife, or current girlfriend, with surprises. It's not for attention, and I actually prefer NOT to have such things paraded on social media. It's for me and her to enjoy.
I can't, off the top of my head, think of a situation where someone surprised me or did something nice for me and my thought was, "Well, the presentation could have been better..."
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Old 09-24-2019, 08:50 PM
 
Location: Seminole County, FL
10,162 posts, read 7,007,862 times
Reputation: 12868
Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144 View Post
I can't, off the top of my head, think of a situation where someone surprised me or did something nice for me and my thought was, "Well, the presentation could have been better..."
Okay? Still. Me just being me, I enjoy seeing the element of joyful surprise on people's faces when I come up with new ways to make them happy. My kids are just fine spending a weekend at home and playing at the park. Surprising them with a random surprise trip to Busch Gardens or the like is still nice. My girlfriend is fine going out to Olive Garden for dinner on a Friday night. A surprise dinner at a high end romantic establishment is still a nice thing to do. To each their own... But it has nothing to do with feeling "pressured" or wanting to show off on Social Media (to some, maybe, but certainly not all.)
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Old 09-25-2019, 01:42 AM
 
842 posts, read 251,316 times
Reputation: 2956
I'm not so quick to put the guy in the "Darwin" record book without knowing his physical history. Had he held his breath and dove this deep in the past, such that he was comfortable doing so, or better yet, gotten some training beforehand? Back in my "swimming" days, I used to hold my breath as long as possible, to see if I could swim underwater two lengths of an Olympic-sized pool (I think I came close a few times) almost every time I hit the gym. Later, I read that's a dangerous thing to do, as some people have been known to pass out while holding their breath. Live and learn, I guess, I never felt like I was in much danger, even though I was alone much of the time. I've probably never been more than 15' deep myself (enough to make your ears pop), but a few posts up, someone stated they've been at 45' unaided. I know that there are pearl divers (Bahamas? Puerto Rico?) that regularly go down a hundred feet without equipment, but they are probably like the Sherpas (highly conditioned to do so). Bottom line, it doesn't seem that what he did was "that" extreme (except that it killed him, I may as well beat someone to the punch), if he had prepared for it beforehand. Maybe the guy was a walking heart attack and didn't have a clue, you read about high school kids dying on the basketball court fairly often. I've done stuff WAY dumber than what this guy did, and am still typing on C-D in my 60's.

On the other hand, maybe I've got this "bragging" thing a little backwards...
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Old 09-25-2019, 04:43 AM
 
21,683 posts, read 17,185,961 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Scrat335 View Post
I'll write this off to the mysterious hand of Darwin.
You guys are so misguided about how evolution actually works.
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Old 09-25-2019, 07:45 AM
 
7,270 posts, read 1,902,613 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Suburban_Guy View Post
The quest for likes and attention on social media is driving people to do risky stunts, at costs to their lives.

What was wrong with proposing like everyone else does, on bent knee and giving the ring on her finger on land?

https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article...posal-tanzania

Seems like everyone now is trying to get their 15 minutes and with social media I suppose anyone can achieve it.



I can't really feel bad for someone who does something completely stupid and pays the ultimate price.
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Old 09-25-2019, 09:16 AM
 
Location: Seminole County, FL
10,162 posts, read 7,007,862 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Oklazona Bound View Post
Seems like everyone now is trying to get their 15 minutes and with social media I suppose anyone can achieve it.



I can't really feel bad for someone who does something completely stupid and pays the ultimate price.
I really donít see it as being a cry for attention in this case. They donít seem like the type to be seeking spotlight in that way. Looked more like a quiet, low key couple. Who knows... It just didnít strike me as that.
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Old 09-25-2019, 01:47 PM
 
Location: Colorado
181 posts, read 40,209 times
Reputation: 798
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Why would he do that without oxygen tanks? It doesn't make sense.
Free diving to 30, 40, 50 feet is absolutely no big deal. I have done it dozens of times. BTW, it is an air tank, oxygen is lethal at that depth. I am thinking something like an electrical charge in the water from a damaged wire.
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Old 09-25-2019, 01:48 PM
 
7,262 posts, read 4,002,144 times
Reputation: 14961
Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzcat22 View Post
I'm glad to see that other people are questioning why he did this stunt. I thought I was the only one not awed by how "romantic" this gesture was. But then, I always think a regular proposal face to face is more than enough. It doesn't have to be an exotic setting. It doesn't have to be in front of thousands of people, like at a concert or athletic event. Are we so jaded and so obsessed with acquiring content to post on social media that a possibly one-in-a-lifetime life-changing event has to be tarted up like this?

He was just wearing a mask, nothing else. Thus his sign that said "I can't hold my breath long enough to tell you all I love about you." Yeah, I get it. Had he been wearing equipment it would have contradicted his sign about holding his breath, but so what? Accept your human needs and limitations that you need oxygen to continue to live!

And it's amazing to me that he would hold the ring underwater. What if he somehow dropped it---would he ever be able to retrieve it? Most diamond rings cost thousands of dollars. Usually people want to keep it safe. (Then again, I'm amazed at the gym to see people with their cell phones in the sauna and, especially, pool and hot tub.)

I'm also surprised that immediately there was a GoFundMe to raise $8000 to get the body back to the US. This young couple had the money for an exotic vacation. He had the money for a diamond ring. I think it's safe to assume that a loft of money would have been spent on the wedding. So there wasn't $8,000 to fly the body back/take care of the funeral?

That said, this is such a tragedy. They looked to be a very nice couple who had their whole lives ahead of them.
He may have bought the ring on time, rather than outright. Could've gotten the trip reasonably priced on a deal, and they'd saved up for it. I have a friend who takes a trip every year. She plans for it, saves for it, and is experienced at getting a decent deal.

There's no telling how much or little they would have spent on a wedding. Nothing about what they did as vocations/professions.
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