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Old Today, 03:11 AM
 
17,023 posts, read 20,971,034 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
Why does it have to be quiet and low key? Itís just a different time now. I have a friend who helped her son plan a very elaborate and romantic ruse for him to ask a girl to prom...they didnít do it for attention on social media, he just wanted it to be special and the kids donít do things low key today. Obviously just going to this crazy expensive place tells you the man wanted it to be something really really special. I donít think we can assume he wanted attention or praise from anyone but her. And she gets to post to show her friends how awesome he is. No reason to assume negative intentions thatís all Iím saying. It is a different time now.

I didn't say it had to.

I was responding back to the poster who said this particular couple was quiet and low key.
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Old Today, 05:14 AM
 
Location: Seminole County, FL
10,177 posts, read 7,017,785 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
I didn't say it had to.

I was responding back to the poster who said this particular couple was quiet and low key.
If you look at their FB profiles, you may see why I said that.
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Old Today, 01:50 PM
 
3,325 posts, read 2,333,720 times
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Why would his GF post the video of her BF last seconds of life on social media before she even returns home is this a hoax or internet stunt? I know the mans sister was on CNN and other news stations talking about her brother she said she has no other information other then what the GF told them.
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Old Today, 05:27 PM
 
1,260 posts, read 354,445 times
Reputation: 3585
Quote:
Originally Posted by ocnjgirl View Post
She wouldíve told everyone she knows about it in 1962, she just wouldíve done it on the telephone then. I mean if you really wanna nitpick, whatís the point of a large diamond engagement ring, if not to have people say ďwowĒ when they see it. Half the fun of having your loved one send you flowers at work, is people coming up to you and telling you what an awesome guy you have. This is nothing new at all. People arenít posting it on world news sites, theyíre posting it on their personal Facebook pages. Itís human nature to want to share about and and brag about good fortune. Itís just that the method they use to disseminate this information is different today.
"I'm getting married." There, that's "brag{ging} about good fortune." Anything else is extra. (People tend to frown on "bragging," by the way.) I'm not talking about "posting it on world news sites," I'm talking about the expectation that a person ought to make their personal business public at all or there's something wrong with them/their relationship/their SO if they don't/don't want to, or the expectation that a person can't have a good thing just happen to them without it having to be flashy and impressive. Maybe a person doesn't even want a large diamond engagement ring to flash around... and there will be judgment of them and their SO for that. You honestly don't see why that's a problem?? If someone's into this kind of thing, fine-- until they take risks and get themselves into trouble-- but for it to be expected that everyone will want and do these kinds of things, so that people feel pressured? Not cool.

I have never needed people to tell me if my SO is "awesome." I already know. And I know it from things that are not showy public displays of affection that actually say nothing about that person's character (perhaps even things nobody knows about except the two of us). I also don't care if other people know or think so, because it's not their relationship. And, I've never been impressed by the showy public displays of affection for others. I know people who have "awesome" significant others, and I know it because of the way that person treats them and comports themself otherwise, not because they can buy fancy gifts to be flaunted in others' faces. I've also known people who never talk about virtues of their significant other besides in what said SO has bought for them, which has always made me wonder if the SO has anything going for them otherwise... Anyone can buy fancy gifts; it doesn't make them a good person.
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Old Today, 05:55 PM
 
2,807 posts, read 783,972 times
Reputation: 7311
I agree, K12144. The sending flowers to the recipient at work always seemed bizarre to me. This was especially the case with one of my fitness instructors. Her husband would have a big floral arrangement delivered to her during a class she was teaching. This might make sense when someone works in an office and has a desk they can keep the flowers on. But since she just came in a day or two a week to teach and had no personal space, she had to schlep it home. Wouldn't she have been just as surprised to receive the flowers at home? And at this point, since she got them every year, there was no element of surprise---just the showy thing of getting a big floral arrangement in front of other people. If this added to her enjoyment, then great. No skin off my nose---but I think the deeper thing is cherishing that you have a husband, one who cares, etc.---not that others can see that you do. To me the litmus test of whether a thing or experience is truly enjoyable is: would you enjoy it if no one knew you got that thing or had that experience? Like would a vacation be something you treasured, even if you never showed/posted a photo of it so other people could see it?

And just as statistics show that the fanciest, most expensive weddings don't lead to longevity of the marriage (there is actually an inverse correlation), I wouldn't be surprised if the most dangerous, exotic, unique etc. proposals aren't inversely correlated with the quality and length of a marriage. There is a level of tedium associated with any marriage; if people find a normal routine proposal to be boring and not fulfilling, how are they going to be with mundane aspects of marriage once the excitement of the proposal and wedding are long gone.

And does anyone else find it amazing that in almost 2020, men still almost always have to be the ones to propose?
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Old Today, 06:23 PM
 
Location: colorado springs, CO
5,429 posts, read 2,479,485 times
Reputation: 17831
Quote:
Originally Posted by jazzcat22 View Post
And does anyone else find it amazing that in almost 2020, men still almost always have to be the ones to propose?
The rational part of me wants to agree but there is a deeper part of me wouldn't want it any other way.

Unfortunately; I haven't the right words to explain. I just would never ask & I am VERY glad I was born a girl.
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