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Old 01-15-2012, 02:53 AM
 
Location: Plano
49 posts, read 102,303 times
Reputation: 39

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Hello! I have scoured CD and read quite a bit of posts all day but haven't really found anything to help me with a pending decision I have to make in the next 6-7 months. I posted a year or so ago and got some good feedback, so I decided to do it again for this dilemma.

**Side note - I appreciate all feedback, please let's keep this positive and not turn this into a negativity fiasco. I know this post is long, but I am very very very confused and just want the best for my family.**

A little background ... I have lived in Texas for about 3 years now, I am a 33 yo, single, successful, black female with two multi-racial boys (9 & 12). I am at a crossroad between going back to my hometown in IL or staying here, taking an employment opportunity at a great company based in Irving, TX and moving from Plano,TX to Coppell,TX.



A few of the pros of being in Texas (so far):
  • School system is absolutely amazing, enough said.
  • The youth programs are limitless, however, the extreme competitiveness of some programs is becoming a turn-off. But I love the availability of the programs.
  • Great job market and opportunities for my field, Business Systems Analyst in Human Resource.
  • The weather is great, except for the 100 degree days, I could do without those.
  • Great church community, with amazing programs for Youth.
  • Plenty of options, malls, grocery stores, restaurants, entertainment, fun kid stuff, etc. at my fingertips.
A few cons:
  • My oldest son (11 yo at the time) got into his first fight ever out here. Some kid walks up and punches him in the face because "he didn't like him" and the Frisco ISD school he attends threw the book at him. No tolerance policy for fighting, ok I understand this, the administrators said my son should have informed a teacher instead of hitting the boy back, ok. My son received a five day suspension from school, a bit much, I felt maybe 2-3 days would suffice due to his perfect record in his prior private school ... but ok rules are rules. The part where things get nuts is the Plano officer (in a Frisco ISD school) on staff gives him a ticket for Disorderly Conduct: he said they caused a melee in the cafeteria and put the entire student body in danger. As a result of the ticket, I had to either pay $200.00 for him to attend an "At Risk" Youth Program or go to court. If I went to court he would have a record and if I went to the program I was told he would not. Of course after he completed the "at risk" program I was informed if he was to ever apply for a government job the class would appear on his record. I have been fighting this since it happened to make sure my child's future isn't compromised due to a 1 minute fight when he was 11 years old. I still can't believe it went this far, it was a very bad setback for us, we are just getting back to normal.
  • Even though I researched cost of living before moving and it appeared the money I make would go further out here it really doesn't. I am not in a position to buy a home at this time, I have to sale the one in Illinois first so I am currently a renter. My rent is about $1315 + $300 electric bill + $60 water bill for a 2/3 bedroom??? My cell phone has an additional "special" tax for living in Texas and other "special" Texas tax for Internet, Cable, Phone, etc. I have rationalized this cost in exchange for no private school cost, amazing schools and programs, but my expenses have increased.
  • Plano/Frisco is overwhelmingly big, the number of elementary schools, middle schools and high schools are intimidating. I have wanted to move out of the apartments, which bring their own weirdness, but if I move two feet I'm in a new zone and possibly new school district. My goal was to keep my oldest in the same school before high school but re-zoning has him moving to a new school next year, which has me considering the move to Coppell/home since he's changing schools anyway.
  • No after-care programs for Middle School age children and beyond. I don't understand this, I can put my youngest in a YMCA program, but have to let my oldest be home alone or pay "day care" costs for him to go to a program after school which is down the street. The cost is around $300 / week for 2-3 days after school? I can't see leaving him at home nor paying "day care" costs for 3 hours a day. Right now I'm "lucky" I work from home, but the new opportunity in Irving would take me outside the home a few days a week.
  • My oldest son isn't very happy, he is having a hard time adjusting, he's almost a teen going through growing pains, the fight situation last year really affected his attitude about TX and his self-esteem. My youngest is fine, honor student, great athlete, doing well, adjusting well.
With all of this said, back to the beginning, I am at a crossroad between heading back to Illinois where I grew up, the community is relatively small, about 38K, majority black, not so great schools so I have added cost of private schools, liquor store on every corner (about 6 to be exact), every fast food chain made in a 5 mile radius, no grocery store (nearest is 30 min away) and not much available for youths. The flipside is my entire family lives in this community, the boys father lives in the city next door (even though he has never been consistent but he's around) and my oldest son would be "happy".

I'm just not sure about their future if we return, I'm doing pretty well ... I grew up there. However, I'm afraid for them as young men growing up in my hometown isn't ideal, yes Shawn Marion made it out but that is few and far between. Besides my goal isn't to raise the next greatest athlete, it is to raise educationally sound individuals who can have the choice to either own a NBA/NFL team or play for one if they so desire.

Then there is Coppell,TX which is the exact make-up of my hometown except reversed, relatively small community, majority white, amazing schools, grocery stores, youth programs, reasonable number of schools/zoning, etc. I know they would be positioned for success, but I'm really not sure if I can keep up with the demands of this lifestyle on my own. Also truth be told, I am now afraid for them out here due to the experience my oldest son went through which I mentioned above. If something like that level of discipline was to happen when they are older it could ruin their lives, their opportunities for college, scholarships, etc. I'm not sure I'm willing to pay that price for all the amazing things this area has to offer.

Any thoughts and feedback would be greatly appreciated, I guess this is kind of a long "what would you do" post! Thanks to all in advance!
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Old 01-15-2012, 08:23 AM
 
1,165 posts, read 2,004,139 times
Reputation: 644
Coppell would be a great choice.If you have that job offer I would choose to stay here.There are some wonderful neighborhoods in Coppell.Check out some houses in your range online...

I would not want to send my children to Frico isd although on paper the schools do well.There is very little attendance at Frisco football games and isd events from what I can see. We have met a few people from Frisco that have made me question the parental involvement there.We chose Prosper instead when we built our house.
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Old 01-15-2012, 08:40 AM
 
Location: Grapevine, Texas
9,515 posts, read 19,549,445 times
Reputation: 6645
Have you compared how your costs would change in Coppell? Your car insurance WILL go up (Dallas County vs. Collin County), and you may be commuting further for work. The $1300 rent will work for a house in Frisco, but you'll be hard-pressed to find a house for that in Coppell. Your family will likely have to live in an apartment for that price.

I hear you on the lack of after school care. That has been an issue even since I was a kid.

FYI: Juvenile criminal records do not appear on a standard background check for employment. Certain agencies (government/military, etc.) can see them, but unless the crime is really bad (such as murder/homicide/drugs), juvenile records are not taken into consideration regarding employment. A fight at school when a kid was 11 years old will NOT affect his employment when he is older.
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Old 01-15-2012, 10:51 AM
 
11,686 posts, read 21,274,228 times
Reputation: 10077
Coppell is a pricier area than Frisco/ Plano. Have you researched what your money will get you rent-wise there?

It's a tough situation, especially moving kids around in those pre-teen years but I would not pass up the chance to move into Coppell ISD which is more inclusive/ less "ego" & flash than the Frisco area, and also one of the best school districts in the metroplex. Especially when compared to the alternative of moving back to a "dead end" IL neighborhood.

Be sure to communicate with the school counselors (free!) or church staff (free!) as your son may benefit from having another adult besides his mom to talk to about adjusting to a differenrt school, culture, new friends, etc during the already rough middle school years. He may also need academic tutoring to catch up if IL schools were that bad. Coppell is a great, but fast paced academically, district.

In 7th grade, team sports begin at school which may help with the after school issue as practice usually runs 1-2 hours after school gets out.
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Old 01-15-2012, 12:40 PM
 
Location: Plano
49 posts, read 102,303 times
Reputation: 39
Crew747, thank you for your reply. Interesting, you made me think of several conversations I had regarding considering Prosper for a potential move for my boys. For the exact reasons you just noted. We did a conditioning camp in Prosper one summer ago and I was really stuck on keeping my boys in their schools in Plano/Frisco ISD. I will be honest, when I moved here with my job I really went by how Frisco/Plano looked on paper, I did ask around, I have a close friend who moved from Dallas to McKinney and planted in Frisco (they had a family) she loves it! However she is about 30 minutes away from me in the Main & Teel area. I had another friend who lived in this area for several years but returned to Illinois and knew others who gave some sound feedback. The area was up and coming at that time, so they had nothing but great advice to offer. Litterally there were no "buts ..." when I told them this was a potential move for me. I appreciate your reply and feedback, thanks!

Last edited by nicolenh; 01-15-2012 at 12:44 PM.. Reason: grammar, misspellings
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Old 01-15-2012, 12:54 PM
 
Location: Plano
49 posts, read 102,303 times
Reputation: 39
ChristieP, I live in an apartment now. I have to sell my home in IL first before I consider purchasing a home. Couldn't afford more than 350K if I did and I have researched Townhomes and homes in Coppell within that range. They look "ok" but I'm far from buying at this point so continuing to rent would be my only option. Rental prices in Coppell look the same as what I am paying now in Plano. As for the commute, moving to Coppell would put me close to the job opportunity I am considering in Irving, TX. It is approximately 15 minutes away, not sure how traffic will multiply that. The struggle would be getting from Plano to Irving over the next several months, when I drove out there for the interviews I almost had a panic attack.

Thanks for the information on insurance costs, I will start looking into that now.

And lastly I don't want my child having any kind of record the idea anything could "show up" when he is a grown man doesn't sit well with me at all. Doesn't matter how "minor" it may seem, this is a huge deal to me.

Thanks for the reply.
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Old 01-15-2012, 01:02 PM
 
Location: Plano
49 posts, read 102,303 times
Reputation: 39
Winter12, thanks for the reply.

Yes, I/he have talked to counselors, we have seen family therapists, I put my son in a Buddy tutoring program, he is actively involved in sports and he comes from a musical family (I played the flute for years, uncle is musician, grandma sings/piano, etc.) so we are dabbling in music activities as well, nothing serious though.

The pet part has been on the consideration table for a long time, I'm not too fond of pets and it would end up being me taking care of the dog (no cats please). I keep saying when we settle in a home I will consider a dog. So perhaps another year or so.

Is there anywhere in Frisco I could consider that would make the commute to Irving, TX less painful? Afraid your answer is no, I've read most of the posts on commutting. I definitely plan to negotiate a flexible schedule if I move forward with the opportunity.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Winter12 View Post
I think Coppell is a good choice but may be you can try moving schools with in Frisco ISD. This is the least disruptive way for your family. Do talk to school counselor, see if you can arrange some tutoring, sports or musical activity. I think pets can really provide emotional support to teens in trouble so see if you can adopt one. Good luck!
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Old 01-15-2012, 01:56 PM
 
Location: Plano
49 posts, read 102,303 times
Reputation: 39
TurtleCreek80, yes, Coppell is pricier I have done some research, read CD forums and so far and have come up with a few townhome / apartment communities to consider. I expect to pay closer to what I was paying in IL around $1800/mth (inclusive of utilties) until I can buy. I do "ok" financially, nothing to write home to mom & dad about, but I have found myself at the top of my desired budget since moving out here. Back in IL I had more breathing room, here, I have a little breathing room. Things get uncomfortable when I open a $300 electric bill. I have to go into my "shopping/play" money more often then I like. This opportunity does come with a salary increase.

Yes, it has been tough, he was 10/11 when we transitioned and he is very much a follower, very different from my youngest who could care less. I have reached out to school counselors & church youth program, that is how we got through the fight he had in 6th grade. Whew!

We definitely have taken & continue to take advantage of tutoring, another great thing out here, the teacher's committment is phenomenal! He was behind and struggled but he is now an average B/C student.

As for sports, is Frisco backwards? His football program started at 6:50 AM and Basketball practice is in the morning as well? No after school activity except for tutoring which lasts until about 4:30 PM.

Thanks for the reply!!
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Old 01-16-2012, 09:04 PM
 
Location: Amarillo
136 posts, read 244,991 times
Reputation: 83
Smile Stay in Texas

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicolenh View Post
Hello! I have scoured CD and read quite a bit of posts all day but haven't really found anything to help me with a pending decision I have to make in the next 6-7 months. I posted a year or so ago and got some good feedback, so I decided to do it again for this dilemma.

**Side note - I appreciate all feedback, please let's keep this positive and not turn this into a negativity fiasco. I know this post is long, but I am very very very confused and just want the best for my family.**

A little background ... I have lived in Texas for about 3 years now, I am a 33 yo, single, successful, black female with two multi-racial boys (9 & 12). I am at a crossroad between going back to my hometown in IL or staying here, taking an employment opportunity at a great company based in Irving, TX and moving from Plano,TX to Coppell,TX.



A few of the pros of being in Texas (so far):
  • School system is absolutely amazing, enough said.
  • The youth programs are limitless, however, the extreme competitiveness of some programs is becoming a turn-off. But I love the availability of the programs.
  • Great job market and opportunities for my field, Business Systems Analyst in Human Resource.
  • The weather is great, except for the 100 degree days, I could do without those.
  • Great church community, with amazing programs for Youth.
  • Plenty of options, malls, grocery stores, restaurants, entertainment, fun kid stuff, etc. at my fingertips.
A few cons:
  • My oldest son (11 yo at the time) got into his first fight ever out here. Some kid walks up and punches him in the face because "he didn't like him" and the Frisco ISD school he attends threw the book at him. No tolerance policy for fighting, ok I understand this, the administrators said my son should have informed a teacher instead of hitting the boy back, ok. My son received a five day suspension from school, a bit much, I felt maybe 2-3 days would suffice due to his perfect record in his prior private school ... but ok rules are rules. The part where things get nuts is the Plano officer (in a Frisco ISD school) on staff gives him a ticket for Disorderly Conduct: he said they caused a melee in the cafeteria and put the entire student body in danger. As a result of the ticket, I had to either pay $200.00 for him to attend an "At Risk" Youth Program or go to court. If I went to court he would have a record and if I went to the program I was told he would not. Of course after he completed the "at risk" program I was informed if he was to ever apply for a government job the class would appear on his record. I have been fighting this since it happened to make sure my child's future isn't compromised due to a 1 minute fight when he was 11 years old. I still can't believe it went this far, it was a very bad setback for us, we are just getting back to normal.
  • Even though I researched cost of living before moving and it appeared the money I make would go further out here it really doesn't. I am not in a position to buy a home at this time, I have to sale the one in Illinois first so I am currently a renter. My rent is about $1315 + $300 electric bill + $60 water bill for a 2/3 bedroom??? My cell phone has an additional "special" tax for living in Texas and other "special" Texas tax for Internet, Cable, Phone, etc. I have rationalized this cost in exchange for no private school cost, amazing schools and programs, but my expenses have increased.
  • Plano/Frisco is overwhelmingly big, the number of elementary schools, middle schools and high schools are intimidating. I have wanted to move out of the apartments, which bring their own weirdness, but if I move two feet I'm in a new zone and possibly new school district. My goal was to keep my oldest in the same school before high school but re-zoning has him moving to a new school next year, which has me considering the move to Coppell/home since he's changing schools anyway.
  • No after-care programs for Middle School age children and beyond. I don't understand this, I can put my youngest in a YMCA program, but have to let my oldest be home alone or pay "day care" costs for him to go to a program after school which is down the street. The cost is around $300 / week for 2-3 days after school? I can't see leaving him at home nor paying "day care" costs for 3 hours a day. Right now I'm "lucky" I work from home, but the new opportunity in Irving would take me outside the home a few days a week.
  • My oldest son isn't very happy, he is having a hard time adjusting, he's almost a teen going through growing pains, the fight situation last year really affected his attitude about TX and his self-esteem. My youngest is fine, honor student, great athlete, doing well, adjusting well.
With all of this said, back to the beginning, I am at a crossroad between heading back to Illinois where I grew up, the community is relatively small, about 38K, majority black, not so great schools so I have added cost of private schools, liquor store on every corner (about 6 to be exact), every fast food chain made in a 5 mile radius, no grocery store (nearest is 30 min away) and not much available for youths. The flipside is my entire family lives in this community, the boys father lives in the city next door (even though he has never been consistent but he's around) and my oldest son would be "happy".

I'm just not sure about their future if we return, I'm doing pretty well ... I grew up there. However, I'm afraid for them as young men growing up in my hometown isn't ideal, yes Shawn Marion made it out but that is few and far between. Besides my goal isn't to raise the next greatest athlete, it is to raise educationally sound individuals who can have the choice to either own a NBA/NFL team or play for one if they so desire.

Then there is Coppell,TX which is the exact make-up of my hometown except reversed, relatively small community, majority white, amazing schools, grocery stores, youth programs, reasonable number of schools/zoning, etc. I know they would be positioned for success, but I'm really not sure if I can keep up with the demands of this lifestyle on my own. Also truth be told, I am now afraid for them out here due to the experience my oldest son went through which I mentioned above. If something like that level of discipline was to happen when they are older it could ruin their lives, their opportunities for college, scholarships, etc. I'm not sure I'm willing to pay that price for all the amazing things this area has to offer.

Any thoughts and feedback would be greatly appreciated, I guess this is kind of a long "what would you do" post! Thanks to all in advance!
HI Nicole --
I've too live in Texas and grew up in Illinois. Stay put. Texas is far better for raising your children and definitely economically. Illinois is in major trouble financially. Matter of fact, Moody's downgraded the state's rating to their lowest rating available. This makes Illinois this worst credit score state in the country!
Also, we don't have state income taxes. Housing is relatively affordable in most places. The weather is better....although, I'll agree that those 108 degree days last summer were awful, but that was an anomaly.
Finally, I think your children will have a much better chance of staying out of trouble here in Texas.
I hope this helps you make your decision.
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Old 01-16-2012, 10:12 PM
 
7,305 posts, read 8,144,604 times
Reputation: 5401
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicolenh View Post
Hello! I have scoured CD and read quite a bit of posts all day but haven't really found anything to help me with a pending decision I have to make in the next 6-7 months. I posted a year or so ago and got some good feedback, so I decided to do it again for this dilemma.

**Side note - I appreciate all feedback, please let's keep this positive and not turn this into a negativity fiasco. I know this post is long, but I am very very very confused and just want the best for my family.**

A little background ... I have lived in Texas for about 3 years now, I am a 33 yo, single, successful, black female with two multi-racial boys (9 & 12). I am at a crossroad between going back to my hometown in IL or staying here, taking an employment opportunity at a great company based in Irving, TX and moving from Plano,TX to Coppell,TX.



A few of the pros of being in Texas (so far):
  • School system is absolutely amazing, enough said.
  • The youth programs are limitless, however, the extreme competitiveness of some programs is becoming a turn-off. But I love the availability of the programs.
  • Great job market and opportunities for my field, Business Systems Analyst in Human Resource.
  • The weather is great, except for the 100 degree days, I could do without those.
  • Great church community, with amazing programs for Youth.
  • Plenty of options, malls, grocery stores, restaurants, entertainment, fun kid stuff, etc. at my fingertips.
A few cons:
  • My oldest son (11 yo at the time) got into his first fight ever out here. Some kid walks up and punches him in the face because "he didn't like him" and the Frisco ISD school he attends threw the book at him. No tolerance policy for fighting, ok I understand this, the administrators said my son should have informed a teacher instead of hitting the boy back, ok. My son received a five day suspension from school, a bit much, I felt maybe 2-3 days would suffice due to his perfect record in his prior private school ... but ok rules are rules. The part where things get nuts is the Plano officer (in a Frisco ISD school) on staff gives him a ticket for Disorderly Conduct: he said they caused a melee in the cafeteria and put the entire student body in danger. As a result of the ticket, I had to either pay $200.00 for him to attend an "At Risk" Youth Program or go to court. If I went to court he would have a record and if I went to the program I was told he would not. Of course after he completed the "at risk" program I was informed if he was to ever apply for a government job the class would appear on his record. I have been fighting this since it happened to make sure my child's future isn't compromised due to a 1 minute fight when he was 11 years old. I still can't believe it went this far, it was a very bad setback for us, we are just getting back to normal.
  • Even though I researched cost of living before moving and it appeared the money I make would go further out here it really doesn't. I am not in a position to buy a home at this time, I have to sale the one in Illinois first so I am currently a renter. My rent is about $1315 + $300 electric bill + $60 water bill for a 2/3 bedroom??? My cell phone has an additional "special" tax for living in Texas and other "special" Texas tax for Internet, Cable, Phone, etc. I have rationalized this cost in exchange for no private school cost, amazing schools and programs, but my expenses have increased.
  • Plano/Frisco is overwhelmingly big, the number of elementary schools, middle schools and high schools are intimidating. I have wanted to move out of the apartments, which bring their own weirdness, but if I move two feet I'm in a new zone and possibly new school district. My goal was to keep my oldest in the same school before high school but re-zoning has him moving to a new school next year, which has me considering the move to Coppell/home since he's changing schools anyway.
  • No after-care programs for Middle School age children and beyond. I don't understand this, I can put my youngest in a YMCA program, but have to let my oldest be home alone or pay "day care" costs for him to go to a program after school which is down the street. The cost is around $300 / week for 2-3 days after school? I can't see leaving him at home nor paying "day care" costs for 3 hours a day. Right now I'm "lucky" I work from home, but the new opportunity in Irving would take me outside the home a few days a week.
  • My oldest son isn't very happy, he is having a hard time adjusting, he's almost a teen going through growing pains, the fight situation last year really affected his attitude about TX and his self-esteem. My youngest is fine, honor student, great athlete, doing well, adjusting well.
With all of this said, back to the beginning, I am at a crossroad between heading back to Illinois where I grew up, the community is relatively small, about 38K, majority black, not so great schools so I have added cost of private schools, liquor store on every corner (about 6 to be exact), every fast food chain made in a 5 mile radius, no grocery store (nearest is 30 min away) and not much available for youths. The flipside is my entire family lives in this community, the boys father lives in the city next door (even though he has never been consistent but he's around) and my oldest son would be "happy".

I'm just not sure about their future if we return, I'm doing pretty well ... I grew up there. However, I'm afraid for them as young men growing up in my hometown isn't ideal, yes Shawn Marion made it out but that is few and far between. Besides my goal isn't to raise the next greatest athlete, it is to raise educationally sound individuals who can have the choice to either own a NBA/NFL team or play for one if they so desire.

Then there is Coppell,TX which is the exact make-up of my hometown except reversed, relatively small community, majority white, amazing schools, grocery stores, youth programs, reasonable number of schools/zoning, etc. I know they would be positioned for success, but I'm really not sure if I can keep up with the demands of this lifestyle on my own. Also truth be told, I am now afraid for them out here due to the experience my oldest son went through which I mentioned above. If something like that level of discipline was to happen when they are older it could ruin their lives, their opportunities for college, scholarships, etc. I'm not sure I'm willing to pay that price for all the amazing things this area has to offer.

Any thoughts and feedback would be greatly appreciated, I guess this is kind of a long "what would you do" post! Thanks to all in advance!
1. I greatly respect that you are putting so much careful thought into your move.
2. Unless you can match the local job with a very similar job in Illinois I wouldn't consider moving back there. Illinois and Ohio in particular appear to be in long term cyclical declines that will likely last decades.
3. Your kids can adjust by stepping up and earning great grades.

*I also agree about the zero tolerance thing. It's patently idiotic that our schools ask kids to endure physical beatings and then attempt to find an administrator who may or may not help. It's a cowardly cop out by all involved.
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