Is Southern Hospitality genuine? (Dallas, Howe: wedding, transit, places)

[USA_Mom]

Originally Posted by blueskies49

I am shocked whenever I visit another state how people will just let a door slam in your face.

You know that's so true and apparently it must be getting true here. My husband and I went out to breakfast Monday morning and there was an elderly man walking in front of us with a front wheeled walker, so obviously he was moving slowly. We did go in front of him and my husband opened the first set of doors for him and I opened the second. The man thanked us and said "you have made my day" and I thought at first "you're welcome" but then I thought how sad that the simple act of opening a door for someone who would have difficulty doing it made his day. I dunno it just made me think who are those people who DON'T automatically do these things for people? I mean my husband has had more than his fair share of women ***** him out for opening doors for them, but he says he will still strive to be a gentleman. If the women won't accept it, then that's lack of manners on their part. He also has opened doors for men, it's just courtesy and not a big deal.

[Lakewooder]

I don't care I will always step back for women to enter or exit (say in an elevator) and open doors for them. If they cuss I just smile sweetly.

[ladysrodgers]

Originally Posted by Bunky39

the very nature of politeness is that it is insincere.
it is a standard of conduct not our personal feelings.

I strongly disagree. While some people may be insincere, I believe the majority of people are polite out of caring for others.

I get a thrill out of doing random acts of kindness.

[momof2dfw]

Originally Posted by USA_Mom

You know that's so true and apparently it must be getting true here. My husband and I went out to breakfast Monday morning and there was an elderly man walking in front of us with a front wheeled walker, so obviously he was moving slowly. We did go in front of him and my husband opened the first set of doors for him and I opened the second. The man thanked us and said "you have made my day" and I thought at first "you're welcome" but then I thought how sad that the simple act of opening a door for someone who would have difficulty doing it made his day. I dunno it just made me think who are those people who DON'T automatically do these things for people? I mean my husband has had more than his fair share of women ***** him out for opening doors for them, but he says he will still strive to be a gentleman. If the women won't accept it, then that's lack of manners on their part. He also has opened doors for men, it's just courtesy and not a big deal.

I'm right there with you and your husband on this one. I open doors for others, hold it open for those coming behind me and this goes for men AND women. How many women actually hold the door open for the man coming in behind them? I do. I go thru but if they are coming up back behind me a bit when I open the door I make sure my arm stays back and hold it open for them to get. I hardly ever get someone that does not say thank you and I do this no matter the age or what they look like. Heck, at the office today I was in a huge hurry to get out the door to an appointment and a customer was coming in and this guy was a 100% blue collar worker, I held the door open for him and let him come in first before I exited. If it were not for him being one of OUR customers I would not have what I do. I guess I was just taught to act like this and expect it out of my kids too. There is one thing that REALLY gripes me worse than anything and that is the people that as soon as the elevator doors open they rush to get on it. HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You can get ON as soon as WE get OUT! You can talk about me all day long behind my back and I can deal w/ that but being so rude as to jump on an elevator as soon as the doors open when there are people needing off is just plain RUDE!!!!!!!!! I will agree w/ Blueskies, times have changed and you run across more rude people now than before.

[hamiltonpl]

I've never had any woman make a negative remark for opening a door or waiting for them to board an elevator. Why take offense at that?

In Dallas, it just seems to be common practice for men to open doors for women and wait for them to board elevators. Whether I'm in downtown or uptown, there seems to be a code among the men to really be gentlemen. One time I was not looking and stepped in an elevator downtown before a woman. Some guy gave me the evil eye. That is very rare in big cities.

When I'm in New York or LA, I still do the same thing. Even there, people seem to be grateful.

Really, why would a woman cuss at you for that? Do they think we believe they can't physically open the door?

[nativeDallasite]

Originally Posted by Lakewooder

I don't care I will always step back for women to enter or exit (say in an elevator) and open doors for them. If they cuss I just smile sweetly.

I've never seen that happen ever; how often does that happen to you? I always thank a man for holding a door open for me. That's just good manners.

[USA_Mom]

I really have no idea why a woman would, the one time I remember we were at Collin Creek mall (probably 1996?) and there was a lady struggling with a stroller and so he opened the door..you know like NORMAL PEOPLE do. She went off on how she doesn't need him or anyone helping her or telling her what to do. It was VERY loud and inflammatory. I think maybe she had a fight with someone and was taking it out on my husband. I didn't say anything really other than "wow" and neither did he.

OMG I so don't understand the elevator thing. OBVIOUSLY people have to get off the elevator BEFORE you get on. This is something I had to struggle to teach my youngest son who rushes everywhere to be 'first.' He has learned the lesson, but this is the same kid I used to have to say "careful don't run into the wall!" UNTIL THIS YEAR (he's 6) at his own home. He's way more energy than my daughter or other son.

[Rocket Power]

It is true that some people will act nice to your face then talk behind your back, but for the most part southern hospitality is real.

One thing I have noticed is some women do take offense to yes ma'am. Sometimes they give you the "what! do I look old to you or something!" look

[nativeDallasite]

Originally Posted by Rocket Power

One thing I have noticed is some women do take offense to yes ma'am. Sometimes they give you the "what! do I look old to you or something!" look

It sucks to transition from "Miss" or "young lady" to "Ma'am." I don't like being called "ma'am" either, though I know whoever is saying it is usually just trying to be polite.

[Debsi]

Most women I know seem to take offense to it. I enjoy the respect, myself.

It's one of the things I find charming about Texas.