Some Thoughts On Using This Forum For "Should I Move Here" Questions (Dallas: for sale, real estate)

[rb4browns]

Note: While this post was originally authored for the Dallas forum... it is easy to relate what is stated to any relocation one might contemplate... so just replace the city names with those you are thinking of relocating from and two... it makes some very wise points to ponder! ...new2sa

While researching whether or not to move to Dallas from California last year, I made good use of this forum and received mostly accurate, good advice. It's a shame that on many of these types of posts it devolves in to a flame fest until Da Jammer gently closes and locks the thread.

The following are just some random thoughts in no particular order about how prospective new DFW residents can make the most of this forum. Please don't flame me or make it a huge argument, these are just my opinions.

For the record just so you know where I am coming from, I am a married mid-30's parent of a baby, religious (not Christian), politically and socially conservative with the occasional wild libertarian streak. I grew up in San Diego, lived in L.A. before moving here, went to college in the SF Bay Area and have also lived in Florida, Ohio and Washington, DC.

1.) Everything you read here is an opinion. Take everything everyone posts (including this post) with a grain of salt. Yes, I know some info you find will be fact based, but as a rule this is not a forum for experts on anything other than their own opinion.

2.) Asking general questions like, "tell me about the difference between City X and Dallas" is useless. We're all individuals and what I like may not appeal to you. So, that leads me to suggest that you....

3.) Be Specific! Knowing your marital status, occupation, politics, what you like about a city, what you don't like about a city, etc. is the only way to give an opinion that might be on an apples to apples level. We're all anonymous here so without revealing personal information that could identify you, try to paint an accurate picture of who you are and what you want. This may require you to....

4.) Know what you are looking for before you "seriously" consider moving here (or anywhere for that matter). What's important to you? What can you live with and what can't you live without? How many people here who are miserable didn't do enough research on the area before choosing to come here? How many thought that low cost housing or whatever is a panacea that will change the problems in their lives? But, with that said....

5.) It's ok to not like Dallas and decide this place is not for you! Yes there are lots of homers like me who put stickers on their car that read "I Wasn't Born In Texas but I Got Here As Soon As I Could." However plenty of people don't like it here for good reasons. It's really freakin' hot in the summer. The pace of life is slower than other parts of the country like Southern California. It's actually more expensive to live here than many parts of the midwest or the south. Many of the suburbs are as politically conservative as the suburbs of San Francisco are politically liberal. I would only say that when reading a person's postings who isn't happy here that you...

6.) Take in to account what they are not saying or reveal in later posts. At least one of the anti-Dallas posters is in an unfortunate situation where they chose a nasty part of town and is in what appears to be a somewhat unhappy family situation. I would hate it here if that was me but that's not a reason to warn people away from the region as a whole. And as far as those of us who do write all sorts of nice things about Dallas...

7. It's ok to drink the Kool-Aid and be happy here! We did our due diligence, thought long and hard about where wanted to settle down, came to grips with what we would miss about California and decided to just suck it up when it came to the less great things about the area (for us it's the heat). And you know what? We love it here, have embraced it and don't regret moving here one bit.

Anywhoo, best of luck to everyone out there reading, lurking and posting about your decision to move here. And if you do end up coming, welcome Y'all!

[RobertsGirl]

You always give good, solid advice, rb4browns. I, for one, appreciate it, and agree 100% with this post. Again, great advice. :-)

[momof2dfw]

Originally Posted by rb4browns

6.) Take in to account what they are not saying or reveal in later posts. At least one of the anti-Dallas posters is in an unfortunate situation where they chose a nasty part of town and is in what appears to be a somewhat unhappy family situation. I would hate it here if that was me but that's not a reason to warn people away from the region as a whole. And as far as those of us who do write all sorts of nice things about Dallas...

Good thoughts.

I'll add to the one above. I mentioned it in another thread as there have been some other posters that have moved here from other states and then "hated it" to no end and continue to bash Texas down to no end........ after reading some of their other posts in OTHER areas (not in the Texas forums) one can find there are other factors that are causing a lot of the problems.

1. If you are ALREADY in an unhappy marriage or family situation and have even thought about divorce where you currently live..... moving half way across the country away from all friends and family is NOT going to help in the least.

2. If your not a real "people person" and find it hard to get out of your shell, comfort zone, box, etc then moving to place you know NO ONE is not going to be fun IF you don't try to change YOURSELF first to MAKE yourself get out and meet others.

3. If your living w/ relatives or close by them that they are helping in raising your young children it is not going to matter where you move if you lose that and your used to it and dependent upon it for "personal survival".

Any place can be "paradise" but when you have personal baggage that is already weighing you down and you move away from EVERYTHING familiar and to a place that you don't know a single soul......... it can be hell. Sure I'd LOVE to move to a place like a tropical island or Cabo or something........ I LOVE to go and stay at those places for a month at a time and I'm perfectly fine. But I would HATE it if I were there for the longhaul and had left all of my family and friends back home. Granted I'm more of a people person and I do get out on my own and explore so that does give me a leg up. It is difficult to adjust no matter WHERE one moves to and that needs to be considered. Even from reading some of the nay sayers of Texas posts AFTER they have left and moved back to their home and "paradise" they still have a rocky personal relationship. So it can not all be blamed on Texas.

[scyogi]

What a REALLY, REALLY thoughtful post! We heart you.

[USA_Mom]

ITA especially with regards to the social/personal situation. It's like having a baby to save a bad marriage.

[BstYet2Be]

Whereever you go... there you are!

[momof2dfw]

Originally Posted by new2sa

Whereever you go... there you are!

Exactly. The personal problems one may be having are not going to stay in the old locale but will follow. If you can honestly say to yourself any of the postings below then moving IS NOT A WISE DECISION! IF it is ONLY for getting into an area of lower real estate or something like that.

1. "Okay, I have been contemplating a divorce, on and off, now for 2 years.
How do you know when it's the last straw. I'm scared because I don't really have any family and I have no on to turn to. I'm in a small town now (deleted) and I don't know how to get the best lawyers and all. I'm sick of it and I want out but I'm too scared to do anything about it. I have a couple of "last straws" and I should of gotten out of it earlier but I stayed. "

2. "But what I wanted to tell you is this - I may be single in the near future too!!! You want to be back in CA, I'm moving back to CA tomorrow (movers are here as we speak). "

3. "Well, I am not sure what I'm going to do about the marriage yet. We are getting along, but a lot of times I just keep things to myself to keep the peace. "

4. "I don't like people all that much"

[RobertsGirl]

Funny this should come up.

Five years ago, if we had contemplated a move from So Cal to Texas, I would have said NO WAY. I wasn't leaving my family with this man I'm married to. Fast forward to now...and we are stronger than we've ever been, which is part of the reason I think this is happening now. He and my kids are my family - I can go anywhere if they're with me.

I also have the advantage that we are all four "people" persons, and will make friends quickly. We also have friends who live there already.

Thank you for pointing this stuff out, y'all. My brain is so full of all the possibilities (whether we stay or go) that it helps to have a clear voice of reason.

[stouchstone]

I know, I moved here from Louisiana, away from all my family and had some difficulty adjusting. I am absolutely a people person, but it was still really different. Traffic for one--I thought I would lose my mind! But these days, I'm drinking (or in most cases selling) the koolaid!

[Filley10944]

thanks so much for your input. Our for sale sign in So.Cali just went up this morning and I admit altho a native I have been nervous about moving back to texas after being out of the south for 13years. To know that someone else from here had the same thots about the weather but is surviving and thriving in Tx. made me feel better. thanks so much