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This article is about poor mental health services in colleges and their consequences but these articles also shed light upon an issue that comes up here quite often. Parents thinking that smaller, less rigorous and non competitive schools can prepare their children for big competitive college campuses. Transition from smaller and shallower ponds to bigger and deeper ponds with lots of smarter frogs can be brutal.
It seems that we really need a rehaul of our educational system. Suicides, rapes, drugs and issues like these aren't problems of individual schools, they are a mainstream crisis. More well known colleges like Columbia, Stanford and Baylor get more attention in media but it's happening everywhere.
Last edited by UnfairPark; 02-02-2017 at 10:08 AM..
Maybe we should lower the pressure in college instead of increasing it in high school?
Amen. However, going to Princeton or Columbia wouldn't be much of a leap for a top 20 student from a big/rigorous campus with plenty of super smart peers like Plano West but it can be a new world for a student from a school with smaller campus, less rigor and illusion of being a top frog.
When I went to UT-Austin (long before the top X% rule), it was easy to find valedictorians from academically weak Texas schools failing and kids that weren't at the top of tough suburban high schools thriving. However, we are in an era that deemphasizes tests like the SAT.
Back when I was in high school, I heard of a guy from my high school that committed suicide because he couldn't hack it studying mechanical engineering at MIT. Just for reference, at my high school, in the grade below mine, I was told it about 20% of the class was National Merit. I recall reading some article at the time about MIT rescinding an offer from some inner city valedictorian because he made like an 800 or 900 something on his SAT, and people were complaining.
When I went to UT-Austin (long before the top X% rule), it was easy to find valedictorians from academically weak Texas schools failing and kids that weren't at the top of tough suburban high schools thriving. However, we are in an era that deemphasizes tests like the SAT.
Back when I was in high school, I heard of a guy from my high school that committed suicide because he couldn't hack it studying mechanical engineering at MIT. Just for reference, at my high school, in the grade below mine, I was told it about 20% of the class was National Merit. I recall reading some article at the time about MIT rescinding an offer from some inner city valedictorian because he made like an 800 or 900 something on his SAT, and people were complaining.
I know. School rank and GPA is a mixed bag, that's the reason college board is still thriving because colleges need a second source to see if a kid can even graduate or not. UT spends a good chunk of money on programs to make sure these kids get academic support to keep up. I guess that was the big reason for ending scholarships for National Merit Scholars. I don't know if it's a favor or a disservice to place students in programs that aren't a good fit for them. College admissions are strange, no matter if it's auto admit or Ivy admit.
It makes me wonder how recruited athletes survive in top schools, probably athletic departments arrange tutoring and GPA inflation.
I know. School rank and GPA is a mixed bag, that's the reason college board is still thriving because colleges need a second source to see if a kid can even graduate or not. UT spends a good chunk of money on programs to make sure these kids get academic support to keep up. I guess that was the big reason for ending scholarships for National Merit Scholars. I don't know if it's a favor or a disservice to place students in programs that aren't a good fit for them. College admissions are strange, no matter if it's auto admit or Ivy admit.
It makes me wonder how recruited athletes survive in top schools, probably athletic departments arrange tutoring and GPA inflation.
Grade inflation is fairly rampant in the Ivy League anyways. You can basically do next to nothing at Harvard and skate by with Bs in everything as the teaching assistants aren't allowed to give lower than that except in very exceptional circumstances. Circumstances such as failing to turn in a required assignment, take the midterm, and turn in major projects on time do not constitute reasons TAs are allowed to give you lower than a B. Many of the athletes at these schools are exceptional students. I'd say the legacy and some diversity admits are often in greater need of the grade inflation than athletes.
I don't really think stress from schooling is that much of a big deal, at least not in the DFW area. The number one suicide group (by far) is middle aged white males at close to 20 per 100,000 vs 12 per 100,000 for school-aged children.
So generally suicide kills more people in the US than car accidents and kills more active-duty soldiers than war.
I also don't get what schools can do to stop things like rape, other than say "don't do it." It may be the students doing the raping, but it's grown adults who should know better covering it up, which requires the school to change it's entire culture. Good luck with that.
These issues aren't due to anything school did or could have done. It's due to values and toughness and deep self sense of worth,whether excelling or fighting to survive touch academics. or bad grades. It may be the major you tried not you that is the issue. Not all are cut out for the same things.
These issues aren't due to anything school did or could have done. It's due to values and toughness and deep self sense of worth,whether excelling or fighting to survive touch academics. or bad grades. It may be the major you tried not you that is the issue. Not all are cut out for the same things.
I agree. Not all people are cut out for all schools and all majors. I think schools are doing students a disservice when they don't prepare them for life out in the "real world" and coddle them too much. A dorm room shouldn't be nicer than a student's first apartment. My husband's engineering professors would tell him and his fellow classmates that the reason why their classes are so tough is because when engineers screw up people die.
This is an interesting subject for me given my youngest sister's experience in her first semester at college this year.
She is the baby of the family, and while we have all been pretty successful (she was the 3rd to get a National Merit Scholarship), all of us joke that she got the combination of ALL the good genes. She is an incredible athlete, beautiful, and was well within the Top 25 student at a DFW high school that is mentioned often on here as one of the top in the area.
As she was the youngest, her experience through school was a little different than the rest of us. After a lot of job layoffs and moves, my parents had firmly settled in DFW by the time she hit kindergarten. Being more established and done with a lot of the child rearing, they had the time and money to devote to select sports that just weren't an option for the rest of us (we didn't care). She showed a lot of talent in softball early on and then later on switched to volleyball. The demands and expectations of time, money, and parent involvement were a constant source of conflict for my parents--Easter weekend tournaments, thousands of dollars spent on team fees, team parent dynamics that were weird at best and harmful to the girls at worst. Once she hit middle school, it became very clear that if you wanted to play in high school, select sports were not optional. In high school, they just flat out said it. She was always burned out from playing on the school team and select team. She eventually quit the select team, even at risk of losing her varsity spot. She was good enough that the coach didn't follow through with the threat. The way she was treated by select coaches and the HS coach were downright abusive at times. I think my parents regret not getting involved more.
Outside of sports, she did some tutoring, but never had an outside job like the rest of us had. She was always very active in church, but sports made it difficult to do much of anything outside of sports. After becoming more and more burnt out and unhappy, she gave up on the idea of playing in college because she didn't want it to ruin her college experience. Finally, she quit volleyball her senior year just a month into the Varsity season she was finally going to get to play in. She worked all those years and quit--and she was thrilled. We were all amazed at how much happier she was. She finally had a social life and threw herself into church activities.
On the academic side, she always flourished, but put constant pressure on herself. I can tell you that while there may have been some athletic pressure from my father, there was NO academic pressure from either of my parents. They constantly told her she didn't have to be perfect and to ease up a little bit. I don't know how much came from the school, but when I was there, it was definitely palpable. I can imagine it only got worse in the 10 years since I graduated.
She was so ready to go to college and get some freedom. Unfortunately, she chose a dorm that was nice and new, but didn't allow for a ton of interaction with other people. She felt isolated and overwhelmed, even though she was making 100s on tests in junior level honors classes. It got so bad, my mom threatened to pull her out and take her home if she didn't work towards getting herself better. I don't think she was ever suicidal, but my parents and siblings would talk to her and it was not good. Finally around October she got on medication and once it kicked in and she started counseling, it all turned around. I'm happy to report she is doing so much better, but it is still very hard.
She is finally learning she doesn't have to be perfect--that it isn't worth pushing yourself to the brink for...what? I learned a similar lesson my first semester of college, though I don't think I had near the pressure on me that she did in high school. In college, I also had the benefit of friends and a boyfriend (that I eventually married) to help me through it as well. Understanding that it if I got a B in a class or didn't do every little thing you were "supposed to" in order to succeed at X was a defining moment for me. Learning to let things go and be "good enough" has made me a much happier person in the long run.
While clearly some of what my sister experienced was not related to her HS experience, I think a decent bit of the blame can be placed on the "best at all costs" mentality that seems to be the norm in the top high schools. It's all about getting the best grades, being the best athlete, so you can get into the best college and then...what? Are we really surprised kids are crashing and burning?
In some cases, I think students flail because they are not prepared. In many other cases, I think they have been overprepared for very specific skillset at the expense of leading a more balanced life and valuable day-to-day experience (like a part time job in high school!).
I think about this A LOT as my kids start getting closer to elementary schools and we think about settling down in an area long term. I chose the play-based preschool over the more academic settings. I don't want my kids to go to Plano West or Hockaday. At this point, I don't want to do select sports at all, but I think I am naive to say we definitely never will. I desperately want them to attend a high school with lots of opportunity (like AP classes), but less pressure. Unfortunately, I'm not sure it exists. I want my children to be successful people, but I think I define success differently than a lot of parents in my socioeconomic circle. I want them to be able to go to a "good enough" college and get out with the education they need and minimal debt. Or pursue an alternate career path if they can prove that a college education isn't going to help them achieve the career they want. I want them to be able to support themselves doing something they enjoy well enough. If they want to go be surgeons, fine. If they want to go teach school, fine. If they want to start a business, fine. As long as they have a plan for supporting themselves and their families long term. Mostly, I want them to be happy, kind, well-rounded people who like who they are and what they are doing with their lives. I'm not seeing that as the goal in our society among the "successful" anymore.
Enough for a Thursday night!
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