where do the Caucasian go shopping (Dallas, Duncanville: home, buffet, scooters)

[nsumner]

I don't think I saw a price mentioned in the thread so I have to ask the OP.

How much do your scooters cost?

[TXNGL]

Originally Posted by nsumner

I don't think I saw a price mentioned in the thread so I have to ask the OP.

How much do your scooters cost?

These aren't just run-of-the-mill scooters. They're medium quality Caucasian skateskooters. How can you put a price on THAT???

[Pontificator]

I'm wondering, can I get one sponsored by TIDE, and run it at the TMS???

[momof2dfw]

Originally Posted by Pontificator

I'm wondering, can I get one sponsored by TIDE, and run it at the TMS???

You can probably get a sponsor but these are not your average run of the mill racing machines. TMS just would not do. Right now we are working on finding a location to put in a drag strip for these skatescooters. Kennedale is one popular destination for the racing crowds. Weatherford might be a possible option if you can scope it out more for us since you seem to be the expert for that region

Possible Sponsors:
Porta-Pottie
Red's Dirt Haulers
Boones Farm
Clorox (bleach of course to make everything "whiter")

[Pontificator]

Originally Posted by momof2dfw

You can probably get a sponsor but these are not your average run of the mill racing machines. TMS just would not do. Right now we are working on finding a location to put in a drag strip for these skatescooters. Kennedale is one popular destination for the racing crowds. Weatherford might be a possible option if you can scope it out more for us since you seem to be the expert for that region

Possible Sponsors:
Porta-Pottie
Red's Dirt Haulers
Boones Farm
Clorox (bleach of course to make everything "whiter")

You are so right. I'm thinking the Clorox High Efficiency, to get the best performance out of a mid-range Caucasian skatescooter. I'll work on location. South Main is a good possibility; I'm sure most 'Ferdites would like to see this thing repurposed, anyway.

[tycobb2522]

In case anyone is interested, I'll be racing my Caucasian race skatescooter for Team Rembrandt next weekend at the Texas Motorplex in Ennis. This is a very special machine, with whaleskin seatcovers a stuffed Bald Eagle for a hood ornament, and tuned by skilled technicians brought over from Southwest Central Asia. It gets exactly 15 gallons to the mile. We've secured major sponsorship from Hummer, The Gap, and Armenian Exchange (located in the right wing of Bigot Towne Centre in Ultra West Plano).

DART has agreed to provide transportation to and from the event, provided Plano raises their property taxes by another 60 million dollars.

All three members of The Society of Californian Expatriots Residing in Irving (SCERI) plan to protest the event as being environmentally unfriendly. Leave early to avoid the blockade of shopping carts manned by Dumpster Divers with a good cause, and expect full coverage by DWong in an upcoming special edition of the Startlegram.

[momof2dfw]

Your going to have some stiff competition to compete against. I've heard rumors thru several journalists that Devils Bowl will be having some Caucasian Skatescooter races over the course of the next few weekends.

The pictures that I have seen while not public knowledge as of yet show some very fine racing skatescooters. They have outfitted them with gasoline engines that get 8 miles to the gallon. When the nitrious is thrown in for a top tier race catagory they should be sucking down the liquid gold at about 4 mpg. I would highly advise sunblock to be worn even though the races will be in the evening due to the large hole in the atmosphere created by the emissions of these machines. Some of the sponsors that I have heard mention of are: Valero, Exxon, Copenhagen, Red Bull, Pabst, Tab, Clorox. Since this is not yet released info for the general public the journalist I heard this from usually gets his sources right about 50% of the time. Any article he writes that has anything to do with local politics is usually inaccurate and causes quite a stir.

Since this area of the metroplex did not participate in the local mass transit there will be no public transportation available. However, you are encouraged to pick up all of your buddies on the way in order to save space in the parking lot. If you take your lifted 4x4 pickup and don't have a topper on it one should be able to get at least 20 people per truckbed children not included. A 4wd is highly recommended due to the recent heavy rains and the parking lot possibly being a bit on the muddy side.

As a side note due to the muddy parking lots they have set up a ring for some after racing fun. Mud wrestling. So all of those hot mama's in their short shorts and tight t-shirts need to come prepared to sling some mud. FYI, since gambling is illegal in the State of Texas any person wishing to place a wager should do so as discret as possible. Same goes for wagers on the skatescooter races.

No word yet of any protests at the Devils Bowl. Probably because those on the eastern side of Dallas County are not as concerned with pollution or recycling.

I have not seen a single porta-pottie delivered to the race track so bring your own tp. I did see a fine setup at the recent Jimmy Buffet concert. One had gotten one of those 5 gallon orange buckets at Home Depot and attached a toilet seat to the top of it. This should work fine and would provide an extra set in the truck for someone. Not as fun to tip over but it gets the job done.

No off duty officers have been hired to man this event so please bring your own protection.

[TXNGL]

Your going to have some stiff competition to compete against. I've heard rumors thru several journalists that Devils Bowl will be having some Caucasian Skatescooter races over the course of the next few weekends. >>

Helllllllll, YEAH! I'm gettin' me some of that fine Boone's Farm and my Home Depot bucket and headin' out to the races! Yee HAW!

[TXNGL]

Y'all realize that, due to this thread, I can't even look at my daughter's non-motorized (Caucasian? Medium quality?) skatescooter without giggling. :-)

[momof2dfw]

Originally Posted by TXNGL

Your going to have some stiff competition to compete against. I've heard rumors thru several journalists that Devils Bowl will be having some Caucasian Skatescooter races over the course of the next few weekends. >>

Helllllllll, YEAH! I'm gettin' me some of that fine Boone's Farm and my Home Depot bucket and headin' out to the races! Yee HAW!

You know. I was doing some thinking. I have figured out my own little side business. The op can handle selling the motorized Caucasian Skatescooters. I am going to have personal potties for sale. I will take those folding chairs that all parents use for spectating their kids sports and cut a hole in the seat and attach a bucket to the bottom of it. This way one has armrests for any extra "help" they may need.

One last minute sponsor: Depends. This is for those that don't want to miss a minute of the action happening out on the race track.

Originally Posted by TXNGL

Y'all realize that, due to this thread, I can't even look at my daughter's non-motorized (Caucasian? Medium quality?) skatescooter without giggling. :-)

Know the feeling. I had to contain myself when I walked past my daughters MOTORIZED hot pink scooter WITH a seat in the garage. HEEE! I was not up to explaining this thread to them.