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Old 10-31-2012, 06:26 AM
 
Location: "Daytonnati"
4,245 posts, read 5,754,530 times
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....loners or shy guys like me are SOL in this town.

Quote:
In Dayton, if you are eccentric, have a colorful personality, are "real", or are simply not a grey, boring person, you probably will have trouble being accepted and fitting in. Daytonians as a rule don't like different or non conformity.
..excellent.
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Old 10-31-2012, 07:49 AM
 
225 posts, read 374,309 times
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Maybe it is because I was born and raised in Dayton and attended a High School downtown where it was extremely diverse, but I have never noticed any of the things mentioned on this thread. Through my wife's job we have moved around a lot and I have noticed the exact same things being mentioned on this thread in places like Houston (Texas), Lexington (Kentucky), and even Cincinnati (where the high school you attended can play a role in the job you land). My hypothesis is that if you are not from an area then you feel as though the area is cliquish when you move there.
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Old 10-31-2012, 08:03 AM
 
225 posts, read 374,309 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dayton Sux View Post
....loners or shy guys like me are SOL in this town.
If you are an introvert and shy you will have problems meeting people anywhere. That is not a Dayton issue. In fact if you are a loner and shy you would be worse of in a bigger city.

With our latest move to Columbus, I decided to stay home and raise our one year old daughter. The first couple months were tough. My wife would come home from work and I would be in a bad mood. I would complain that my only interaction is with a one year old and how I get lonely. My wife called me out and asked what I have done to address those issues. I said I can't do anything about it I am a stay at home dad. She called BS and told me to step up my game. I then got a season pass to the zoo and COSI. I also searched for indoor and outdoor play areas. I found a coffee shop with a playground inside and some other great parks and play areas. I now have numerous friends who I see regularly on my outings with my daughter. In my case, the lonely feeling and outsider mentality was my fault not the city or my surroundings. My wife steered me straight and now I absolutely love Columbus, I love our neighborhood, and have come to realize there are a plethora of great people and things to do that were right in front of my nose the whole time I was simply choosing not to recognize them.
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Old 10-31-2012, 08:37 AM
 
Location: "Daytonnati"
4,245 posts, read 5,754,530 times
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^
We are talking in some generalities about a certain subcultural thing, too, and the observations from two other posters, who are not apparently introverted or loner types, correllates with mine.

Quote:
I love our neighborhood, and have come to realize there are a plethora of great people and things to do that were right in front of my nose the whole time I was simply choosing not to recognize them.
I found this to be the case after my partner passed and I started going on long walks and hikes, then this year I got a bicycle and started cycling.

Hiking, walking, and cycling are, for me, solitary activites, so they are compatible for my personality. Since doing this I discovered a wealth of opportunities in this area for these forms of outdoor recreation, using the local parks, forest preserves, and bike paths. I also do long walks in the city, various neighborhoods and such, and some of the older suburbs and country villages. Although Dayton proper is shabby,run-down, and slowly being abandoned, it IS fairly safe to walk around in.

As I said these activities dont require "social life" or membership in a clique, yet the region is excellent for doing them or participating in them. I just needed to change my frame of reference and a postive feature of the area came into focus.
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Old 10-31-2012, 08:41 AM
 
Location: Cincinnati
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dayton Sux View Post
I found this to be the case after my partner passed
Sorry for your loss.
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Old 10-31-2012, 10:41 AM
 
Location: A voice of truth, shouted down by fools.
1,086 posts, read 2,223,983 times
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What bam989863 is saying seems reasonable on the surface, but I see it as two - pronged: inaccurate, and "blame the victim" in attitude.

I tell my wife I'm "shy" and she says in return that she can't get me to shut up. I grew up in Dayton and moved out when I was a young adult - then moved back 10 years later - and I found that doors essentially close on you in this region when you're new and not "properly introduced". And people here DO get offended when you speak out of turn.

In California, or in Florida where I lived (both places) if you had the chutzpa you could walk into a random social gathering where it was appropriate and strike up conversations without much awkwardness. You do that around Dayton and you're not "properly introduced" and people whisper about you when you walk away.

Someone around here saying "they never saw it" is a member of a clique - military or social or academic or neighborhood wise. Guaranteed.

I'm now a member of a few local social cliques, not so much by choice but they just happened. I have seen both sides.

Here's an example of passive exclusion. I belonged to a Toastmaster club several years ago. A bunch of guys from the base and some contract companies who already knew each other sat together, teamed up with and critiqued each other. I simply could not interact with any of them, even though Toastmasters is supposed to be "social". They were definitely all a package deal and stayed to themselves. Kind of a blatant example.

Dayton socially really blows, actually. It's barely tolerable because I know a few people. I know both sides. I grew up here and I say definitely that there's something the matter socially with people in this area. They're xenophobic about personal differences. I know that I was xenophobic and unaccepting when I lived here, I had it knocked out of me by living in California, and I see it in natives when I come back.

Fun fact, and I want to see it tried on Mythbusters: Most people from Dayton will physically explode if you take them out of the Miami Valley. Kind of a Coke+Mentos thing.

Last edited by Ohioan58; 10-31-2012 at 10:57 AM..
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Old 10-31-2012, 10:45 AM
 
Location: Cincinnati
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohioan58 View Post
I found that doors essentially close on you in this region when you're new and not "properly introduced". And people here DO get offended when you speak out of turn.
I can corroborate this with my own experiences living in Linden Heights in east Dayton. It was a contributing factor to me moving my family to Cincinnati.
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Old 10-31-2012, 10:53 AM
 
Location: A voice of truth, shouted down by fools.
1,086 posts, read 2,223,983 times
Reputation: 894
I believe that what I am saying is known on a broad scale nationally, especially among people whose jobs cause them to have to relocate. If so, it would account for the "pox" and the cloud of dislike for Dayton and its unpopularity as a business magnet. I kind of wonder if NCR moving from Dayton to Atlanta reflected a dislike of Dayton socially as a place to live.
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Old 10-31-2012, 10:57 AM
 
Location: Cincinnati
4,007 posts, read 4,831,178 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohioan58 View Post
I kind of wonder if NCR moving from Dayton to Atlanta reflected a dislike of Dayton socially as a place to live.
Things that make one .

I can say that my wife and I were tireless in endeavoring to become a part of the neighborhood and were treated very standoffish. Even at the neighborhood meetings we attended. Eventually we got tired of it and when the opportunity came we split.
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Old 10-31-2012, 11:07 AM
 
Location: A voice of truth, shouted down by fools.
1,086 posts, read 2,223,983 times
Reputation: 894
I'm saying all this because - Dayton has so many amenities and so much going for it, physically and culturally. Great housing stock, great parks and natural environment (mostly), live music and creative arts, top notch higher education, research, blah de blah blah blah. But it has been rotting, not as badly as Middletown or Springfield but similarly.

What's NOT to like? I can hear someone asking. The possible answer: "Well, you ever LIVE in Dayton and know what it's like? Let me tell you..."
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