I'll work backwards on your list. But first, congradulations to your husband on being admitted to AFIT. I have heard many great things about the program. Now for the real stuff...
By the way, I'm highlighting the important stuff because I'm getting into a bit of a diatribe here.
Base housing in in flux right now. What I mean is that the base is in the process of privatizing the housing that is currently outside the fence. Thus, some buildings are quite old and out-of-date, and others are pretty brand spankin' new. There is some Senior NCO and Officer housing within the fence, but most of it is old, though some of it is architecturely(sp?) intersting. But that housing stock usually goes to the higher ups. All housing inside the fence is in Area A&C of Wright-Patt and attend the Fairborn School District.
*Disclaimer: Before everyone else starts bashing me on school district report cards, let me just say this. I am going off of what I have heard from friends in high school (which for me was a couple of years ago) who attended other area high schools (ie. Fairborn) said about the atmosphere and learning environment in said school(s). Also, a district with more money for certain programs, such as special needs, can hire more aids and qualified teachers to better the environment.
Back to the topic at hand:
Most housing outside the fence near Area B attends Mad River schools. A few places still go to Fairborn. If you were to live on base housing, which would probably make the most sense if you are only here a year, I'd go with Mad River. One, the primary school is too large in Fairborn. Two, the Fairborn district has been getting better, but has suffered as of late due to money issues. Not just in terms of school levies (which increase homeowners property taxes to pay for school's operational fees), but also in terms of money management. The first half of this decade was rather hard for Fairborn schools. The problem is Fairborn is rather transient in its population with most of the remainder being older folks on fixed incomes or people near or under the poverty level. It makes for a difficult situation for some folks and thus they can't (or don't) keep their kids straight and level on learning and problems develop in the district.
Mad River, on the other hand, isn't the top district in the area, but is respectable, doesn't have the financial issues of Fairborn, is rather largely military (so some what transient), but also is more blue collar/middle class in the remainder of its population. The schools have won some awards in the past. The school also has smaller elementary schools compared to one large one as in Fairborn.
If base housing isn't an option, I'd recommend renting in Beavercreek. Both are close to the base, with Beavercreek being just southof Wright-Patt. There are a number of rentals in both apartments, condos, townhomes, and single-family dwellings for rent. Pretty much 90% of my friends at Beavercreek High School were military "brats" or had a parent(s) working on Wright-Patt or some contractor.
It is a rather military community. Beavercreek is a bedroom community that is slowly turing into it's own little city with two malls, a large employment base, and large residential communities. Beavercreek City Schools are some of the top in the region (tops goes to Centerville, Sugarcreek, and Oakwood). But it's not too large either (estimated 40000-45000 residents within city and township). The city is safe, with many families residing here. Also, many military personel retire in Beavercreek. If I was ever giving the chance to move back to the Dayton area again with a family, Beavercreek would be near the top of my list.
*Disclaimer: I grew up in Beavercreek, so I am a little biased in that fact. I also speak from my heart in terms of the city's character, schools, etc... I know it the best of any area around, though I do know the surrounding area. So if I seem to be favoring Beavercreek, that's why.
As far as services for children with autism, I'm not totally familiar with it, so I'm putting that up front. But, what I can tell you is that there is a Children's Hospital in Dayton (Dayton Children's Medical Center) no more than 20-30mins from these communities and the base. I'd check there first for more information.
There are plenty of other suburbs around Dayton that many will also suggest. Even Dayton's historic districts are an option, though I would highly suggest private schooling due to special needs, and Dayton Public Schools, even if you don't follow the rankings, doesn't have the best track record in education in general.
The reason I suggested the ones I did, was for three reasons: 1) Proximity the the base. The three suburbs of Fairborn, Beavercreek, and Riverside are right next to the base, so you don't have to worry about a commute of longer than 15 mins. 2) Schools. Even if I didn't recommend Fairborn, there are good options in Mad River and Beavercreek that basically any other school district in the area can provide. Why go further away (longer commutte and less time at home), when you can be right there. 3) Renting. These communities provide numerous renting options within their respective school district and city. Base housing is also located within two of these three school districts.
The only reason to overlook these places is if you found a home in a neighboring community (Kettering, Huber Heights [which could possibly go up with the three mentioned] Centerville, Miamisburg, Vandalia, etc.) that you just couldn't pass up.
Sorry this was so long but I hope you find at least a part of it helpful. I hope you enjoy your move to the Dayton area and wish your family the best of luck!