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Old 11-25-2007, 12:50 PM
 
19,922 posts, read 7,410,608 times
Reputation: 27216

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Quote:
Originally Posted by dee2south View Post
In the future, just because you haven't done your research, do not call those of us who have, inaccurate, or discredit our posts. The truth will set you free. Looks like I hit a nerve with you, what's your beef with me?
My final comments on your post regarding incarceration:

[1] The report you presented was written by a politician in a former governor's administration who is writing it under the premise of supporting the elimination of minimum sentencing guidelines. As a side note, I happen to disagree with that premise and want drug dealers off the streets!

[2] That being said, even though I disagree with the premise of the report, it does NOT state, as you did, that Delaware has the highest incarceration rate in the country. So the basis of my original comments, that you were incorrect, stand as fact.

[3] As far as doing my own research, if you have read even a small percentage of my posts to the Delaware forum, you'll note that I think I've done plenty of my own research - sometimes unintentionally making my fellow forum members crazy with the facts that I've found.

[4] As far as hitting a nerve with me ... no! I'm sorry, but none of what is said on a forum would be enough to hit a nerve. Everyone has their own motivations for coming to a state forum and trashing that state. I would certainly place more merit in a balanced presentation, as there is always good and bad in everything. Anyone who focuses only on the bad is not presenting information that is credible to me. I prefer to see the balanced arguments as reality always exists somewhere in the middle of it all.

[5] My beef with you? None. From a "fellow human being point-of-view", I'm just very sorry that someone who has spent so much time in a place cannot find anything good to say about it. It's very sad. I am happy that you've found a place in North Carolina that is more fitting with your needs and do honestly wish you the best in health and happiness there.

Charley
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Old 11-25-2007, 01:16 PM
 
Location: GA and NC
50 posts, read 158,566 times
Reputation: 7
Good luck in Delaware, Charley, let me know how it goes for you. And when you get arrested or harassed by a law enforcement officer, don't tell me I didn't warn you. You may want to consider retaining a lawyer prior to relocating, but do not use one from Sussex county. As far as getting drug dealers off the street, I too would like to see that. Did you bother to research the Wilmington News Journal, regarding the DOJ having to step in and correct the corrections institution? Mandated sentencing is not the answer, but it is a way for Delaware to keep their heads above the water financially. Many judges even disagree with mandated sentences, but their hands are tied, until new laws are made. Maybe you can lead the way.
I have no ill will against Delaware, it just isn't going in the right direction. Now they are considering dumping treated waste into the ocean, not my cup of tea. I still own property there, but I would never live there again.
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Old 11-25-2007, 02:43 PM
 
19,922 posts, read 7,410,608 times
Reputation: 27216
Quote:
Originally Posted by dee2south View Post
Good luck in Delaware, Charley, let me know how it goes for you. And when you get arrested or harassed by a law enforcement officer, don't tell me I didn't warn you. You may want to consider retaining a lawyer ...
Thank you for the insulting assumption that I will be arrested or harrassed ... and for confirming for everyone the true value of your posts to this forum.

Charley
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Old 11-25-2007, 03:28 PM
 
Location: GA and NC
50 posts, read 158,566 times
Reputation: 7
Quote:
Originally Posted by CMTAD View Post
Thank you for the insulting assumption that I will be arrested or harrassed ... and for confirming for everyone the true value of your posts to this forum.

Charley
As my principal in High School once said, " A word to the wise should be sufficient".
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Old 11-26-2007, 06:40 AM
 
1,642 posts, read 3,286,904 times
Reputation: 1146
dee2south - I understand much of what you are saying. All of the stats, brochures, and catalogs show DE as a Mayberry sort of life. After you live there for awhile,
some people find out it's as if Mayberry is on crack, and the politicians are the suppliers.

If, at some point, the good-old-boys network gets ya, things can look very bleak. Unless you're a Capano or....well, you know. There was the John Atkins situation. That was an anomaly.

It is probably a fine place to live if you keep your head down, make sure you have an instate license plate on your car if you are traveling between Dover and south of Milford, have few expectations of your government/politicians, don't need a job, don't need truly excellent health care, and don't have school-age children. Some of you have found that you are very pleased with what you have discovered. That needs to be shared. All personal insights have merit.

Look everyone. When someone here shares a negative from their own perspective, they get bashed big time. As many of you are saying....perhaps DE is not a good fit for everyone. Please allow all side to be heard. DE is not necessarily the best place to try to start out with a young family. Most of you are retired and/or have an income from outside the state. That's fine! I'm truly pleased that there is peace and comfort in your choices.

Please allow other voices a place here without making negative comments about them personally. Often the word "you" may be used in a general sense. The writer is most likely not referring to a specific poster here. They are referring to the general population of the area. If the on line info you find is different than what is posted, post your own info and the source. Let the reader decide.

It seems to me that when someone who has had direct, personal, lived-there experience posts of their experience, there is little respectful dialog. We can disagree, but find a respectful medium. These posters who take the time to share their experiences have value as well. Granted, they may be venting. So what!?! I feel they should be encouraged to vent. Within the info they share may be a mid point of fact.

I also don't think the argument that 'DE is not nearly as bad as where I live/lived' is worthy of a reader's time. They don't live where some posters live or lived. If I go to a restaurant and I'm served poor quality, spoiled food, I'm not going to another establishment to eat simply because their food is less offensive. I'll use all my resources to find a business that serves what I'm seeking. Maybe DE is serving what some of us want. Fine. But I personally want to know what others have been served in DE and what their opinion and experience may be....first hand, direct experience.

The criminal system, the state hospital, the Newark Reservoir, the Indian River bridge, the school bond issues, public education, toxic waste, water quality, infrastructure, jobs, major political corruption....the current two-term governor...and more....all need to be openly discussed. All sides should be heard, and no posters should feel their opinion has no value. Numbers/stats can be skewed and all should be made available to the reader.

dee, I hope you stay and continue to post. Your personal experience has value, and I don't think it suggests you have ulterior motives.

Now. I need to seek out professional therapy to try to understand why I don't just give up with this issue. LOL!
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Old 11-26-2007, 08:01 AM
 
19,922 posts, read 7,410,608 times
Reputation: 27216
Good morning, Rockky

I will assume that your message was aimed at me as I am clearly the biggest culprit in seeking balance, facts, accuracy, etc. When someone comes to this forum and states that any particular aspect is "the highest rate of whatever", and it's not, I believe that it must be challenged. Someone has to - or else anyone else coming to the forum will accept it is fact. In my original response, I did not trash anyone! I merely stated the following: "If you want to tell us only the bad stuff, that's fine ... but please be accurate." I stand by that request.

I don't expect Delaware to be a nirvana. If I had found a nirvana, that's where I would be heading. I didn't. In all the work I did to find what I considered to be the best place for my wife and I, with all aspects considered, Delaware was, and is, the clear choice. That's for me. I'm not advocating it to anyone else and I'm not saying that there are no problems. Every state has them. There's not enough space on the City-Data forums to talk about the problems in New York.

All I want is balance and truth. If something is bad, then a warning is a good thing. But don't tell me that it's the worst out of all 50 states when it's not. Don't tell me to expect to be harrassed or arrested by the police when I'm a decent law-abiding citizen who in 55 years never had a moment's problem with anyone from law enforcement. Don't tell me I better get a lawyer before I arrive. I think those comments from dee2south were insulting and out of line and I'm sorry that while you saw a problem with my comments, you saw no problem with her comments to me.

To everyone. I am sorry that I persist in trying to find truth and balance. I am sorry if some of what I post causes anyone any discomfort. And, I am sorry that there are those who do not understand or accept my motivation - to fact find and get the truest possible sense of what life in Delaware might be like for me. However, I am NOT sorry that I challenge those who can only show the worst of the situation.

If you wish me to remain silent and not pursue a balanced, middle-of-the-road, fact-based, accurate and sensible appraisal, then just tell me. For the sake of peace in the forum, I will yield to the will of the majority.

Charley
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Old 11-26-2007, 08:39 AM
 
15,574 posts, read 7,710,186 times
Reputation: 28152
Hey there everyone.

Charlie, I understand how you feel. I get angry too when someone is only posting negatives about this state. I think Rockky meant me as well in her comments to Dee.
I am a DE newbie and not sorry we made the choice to live here in DE.
We are retired and do not need a job as of now. If I was looking for work, I may rethink my decsion to live in DE. But as a newly retiriee, this is perfect for us.

As far as Health care goes, I know some people that are very satisfied with their doctors and that is good enough for me.
Health care today all around this country is horrible so to me and not just in DE. The Health care system stinks in any state.

My husband and I are happy we moved to DE because it is cheaper to live. Being on a fixed income, we had to look for the most for our money. And this is it.

I too dont' mind negative comments about DE but at least be honest and fair. A lot of negative comments about DE are because people are frustrated living here for whatever reason.
If soemone is not going to be fair then I will just ignore them and realize they have the right to post whatever they want too.

I have noticed the ones that have lived here forever think the newbies are too sensitve when it comes to negative comments about DE. I really dont' think it is true. I know what De has to offer and I know De is not perfect. But for us living in De was the perfect solution. The tax situation alone is well worth it for us.
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Old 11-26-2007, 09:09 AM
 
1,642 posts, read 3,286,904 times
Reputation: 1146
From eliza......"If soemone is not going to be fair then I will just ignore them and realize they have the right to post whatever they want too."

Thank you, eliza. That's exactly what I'm trying to say. You've done a much better job in a few words than I have in all my paragraphs.

To both you and Charley, I'm not pointing fingers at anyone in particular. Charley, if I have something to say to you directly, I will do that. I have done that in the last couple of weeks. I'm sure you recall our exchange.

What I'm trying to address and protect is every one's right to post what they perceive as fact. Some things just can't be proved or disproved. Stats are often based on who has compiled them, how they are processed, and how they are presented.

Most of the regular posters here are folks who are new to the area. I am in no way asking (let alone telling) them not to have an opinion or post. I am simply suggesting that any readers who may be new to this forum be aware that there are very few folks who have resided in DE for many years posting on the state's forum. eliza usually makes that disclaimer when she posts, and I hope she continues to make her wealth of personal info available for anyone looking to move to the area within the 55+ communities.

I'm very, very pleased to see Delly here now. Not only has this person lived here all their life, they have a wealth of info regarding the changes that have come to pass in the last few decades. Delly has been very fair and frank when they (sorry Delly...not sure if you're male or female....female, right? ) discussed being a bit biased having never lived elsewhere. Nothing wrong with that! I want to read what Delly writes.

I have noticed that when a new poster asks a question about a particular area, they don't get much feed back. Much of what is discussed here in a rehash of the same thing. I wish there were many more DE folks who have years of experience posting here. The fact that they don't could mean many things. I'm curious about the lack of input from locals. They probably don't have any reason to even know what City-Data is.

I'm truly not trying to scold anyone. I personally want to see all voices, opinions, data, sources, experiences, loves, dislikes, successes, and challenges posted here. I want discussion. Not finger pointing or personal slams. What concerns me is that not everyone is being encouraged in that direction. I would like to draw all opinions and voices to this site....and have them stay.

I have said this all before...many times. I have received PMs from posters who have come and gone because they feel their opinions don't count. Please. Just try to be gentle.

Respect to all,

~R~
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Old 11-26-2007, 09:40 AM
 
15,574 posts, read 7,710,186 times
Reputation: 28152
Quote:
Originally Posted by rockky View Post
From eliza
II'm truly not trying to scold anyone. I personally want to see all voices, opinions, data, sources, experiences, loves, dislikes, successes, and challenges posted here. I want discussion. Not finger pointing or personal slams. What concerns me is that not everyone is being encouraged in that direction. I would like to draw all opinions and voices to this site....and have them stay.

I have said this all before...many times. I have received PMs from posters who have come and gone because they feel their opinions don't count. Please. Just try to be gentle.

Respect to all,

~R~
Well I sure hope you are not trying to scold anyone. After all, we are all peasants.

I think they only ones that check into this site are people looking to relocate. I know I never heard of City data before and found it by accident after we moved.
I dont' claim to know much about DE only what I have experienced. Most of what I do know is about 55+ community living in the Kent country area.

I hear people say the people in DE are unfriendly and I'm sorry but I find them no more unfriendly that PA. In fact, I find the people down here to be friendlier.
People usually respond to such and if you walk around all unhappy and angry, no one in their right mind will want to be friendly with you.

You are right Rockky, and everyones experience needs to be heard. That is really how we learn.
I also enjoy Delly's post about the old and present days. I believe Delly is a she, am I right Delly?
She tells it like it is and I love to hear all her stories and I do trust what she says.
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Old 11-26-2007, 10:01 AM
 
1,642 posts, read 3,286,904 times
Reputation: 1146
Quote:
Originally Posted by elizamary View Post
Well I sure hope you are not trying to scold anyone. After all, we are all peasants.

I think they only ones that check into this site are people looking to relocate. I know I never heard of City data before and found it by accident after we moved.
I dont' claim to know much about DE only what I have experienced. Most of what I do know is about 55+ community living in the Kent country area.

I hear people say the people in DE are unfriendly and I'm sorry but I find them no more unfriendly that PA. In fact, I find the people down here to be friendlier.
People usually respond to such and if you walk around all unhappy and angry, no one in their right mind will want to be friendly with you.

You are right Rockky, and everyones experience needs to be heard. That is really how we learn.
I also enjoy Delly's post about the old and present days. I believe Delly is a she, am I right Delly?
She tells it like it is and I love to hear all her stories and I do trust what she says.
eliza, I think you are right. It does seem to be mainly people looking to relocate or recently relocated people who are posting. As I read other state's forums, there is a great deal of discussion from the locals. If you ask a question, many folks show up, post, and tell you of their experience. It may or may not be what I need to make my personal choices, but I'm interested. I don't feel the need to somehow argue or disprove what has been their experience.

I just read a very long, negative post about where I currently live. I mean this person more than dislikes where they are living. They are very unhappy here and gave the reasons why the fit isn't good for them. I'm not going to tell them they are wrong and give 'factual' reasons why I think they are wrong. All I can do, if I even choose to respond...which I didn't, is share my personal experience. I certainly have no reason to doubt their thoughts. I am certainly not going to argue with them.
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