LOL Delly!
Great post! And thrilling to meet another native. I thought my family were the only ones left. All I hear up this way is a Jersey/New York accent. We've been here since the 1600s and most are downstate.
You left out a few things though.
You forgot it's the State
Fahr in
Hahrintin.
Turns signals do
NOT mean "Quick go to the side he's signaling and speed up!"
Waitresses should be addressed as Miss + first name.
Schoolbusdrivers are professional truck drivers and most are retirees and stay at home moms, and just as well educated as many of the teachers with whom they work. They're decent people, that love kids enough to turn their backs on 50 of them at once, doing an overstressed underpaid, underappriciated job, and deserve respect.
Do NOT snap your fingers at a bartender and expect service. Being in the service industry does make them servants.
Working for a bank or corporation doesn't make you better than anyone around here, and many of us have outbuildings worth more than your McMansion...and ours are paid for...and probably built better.
Speed limit is the MAXIMUM at which to drive, not a suggestion.
Those funny red, yellow, and green lights are there for a reason {especially around Greenwood, Elsmere, and New Castle}.
That McMansion development you [newcomers] live in used to be a thriving farm only a decade ago, and that weird noise you hear at night means farmer Bob's great granddaddy "ain't happy none about it." and may've been moved to build it.
We are not southern as the New Yorkers believe, nor are we northern. Despite revisionist history, the Mason-Dixon Line stops WEST of Delaware at the convergence of DE, PA, and MD near Newark {pronouced New Ark; NOT Neweerk}.
Delaware was neutral in the Civil War. Ft Delaware housed POWs of BOTH sides, it's just the Union had easier access for prisoner exchange.
If you're looking to buy or sell something don't expect a quick-n-dirty closing. Delawarians are smart, thrifty, and casual; push a sale, loose a sale. We buy from friendly folks, not folks pretending to be our friend, and assuming you can call us by first name [or worse some ridiculous shortened name] will just irritate most buyers.
Many of us have a hyphenated FIRST names and how we introduce ourselves is how we expect to be addressed.
Those "acres and acres of odd green weeds" are called SOY BEANS.
We have a one word definition for taking corn "just growing there along the road", the word is STEALING. That corn is someone's bread-n-butter.
A special note to city transplants taking up hunting {thinking of a 2002 incident in New Castle County}, that brown animal with horns just standing there is called a
cow. While we're at it, Cows are female bovines, Bulls are male bovines. If you don't know the difference, try to milk both and see.
Yes that's a 1936 Hudson in that man's yard, no it isn't for sale, don't complain to the county to have him remove it [We been using it to remember where to turn for years], and yes that is a maple tree growing through it.
Don't ask us for directions. We can get there but have no idea what the road is named. You turn at Bob's house; if you don't know who Bob is you probably don't belong there anyway. Besides, with DelDOT paving everything is sight, you probably can't get there from here anymore.
If you bought an old home, you will be referred to as "the folks in the old _____ Place" for the next two generations; get used to it.
That big open patch of land isn't a park; it's someone's yard. Please take your volleyball net someplace appropriate, and get your Escalade out of my mater plants!
"Hey" may be used as greeting among friends; "Ey Yo" is equivilent to silence and will get you the same.
If you think 'Fighting Blue Hens" is silly, go mess with a blue chicken...I dare you. The British ran like ^&!! from them.
Don't forget we made up the bulk of Washington's army, and were the only revolutionary troops wearing blue coats. Then we were the first to sign The Declaration of Independence and The Constitution; if it weren't for us you'd still be singing God Save the Queen and eating kidney pie and blood pudding...I repeat, eating kidney pie and blood pudding...possum don't sound so bad now does it?
It's
warsh,
woiter,
spigot, and
zink!
New Jersey does NOT own the Delaware Memorial Bridge,
we do and have since it was bought from a private owner in the 70s. It's the one going off 95 to Maryland we don't own.
We have not been a part of Pennsylvania since 1703 [ok it took till 1704 to get the paperwork finalised] and should change our State slogan to that.
Our State song is 'My Delaware', it's way too close to 'Oh Canada', and personally I think we should change it to "Mamma's Got a Squeezebox" by The Who so at least everyone would know the tune...but that's just me....Ralph Stanley's "Lil Maggie" would do fine too. If you don't know the difference between Bluegrass, Country, and Rockabilly, you really don't belong here.
And if you're not scared yet, I'm running for State office again in 08.
On that, I'm getting loopy staring at this screen so, I'm going to throw a critter on the grill and mash some taters. If you want good grits try Hollywood Diner in Dover. And remember, if the ain't movin', thems ain't real grits.
David-Lee {last name witheld}
PS To the Magnolian: I seem to recall possum pot pie was on the menu when my Aunt owned the diner. You know..the diner at the red light....THE red light. I may be wrong. It was a long time ago and I don't eat rodents. But I will make ya a slab of scrapple that'll make your mouth woiter.
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All kidding aside I unfortunately catch them in my commercial crab nets in New Jersey. But by the time I pull them in it's bye, bye rat. They drowned. If I only new they were a delicasy I would have been eating the rat and throwing the crabs back in.
Home Sweet Dela-wur
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