Delawareans--Intimidated by/Jealous of Successful People?(DrJef) (Wilmington: neighborhoods, schools)

[Karen71]

I know I know...people are the same wherever you go. BUT....

My recent post raised this question in the back of my head.

I discovered and created my first thread on this site just a day or 2 ago.

In one thread I gave my reason(s) for leaving DE. I had nothing horrible to say about the state--just recognized my need to experience LIFE outside of the small boundaries. My second thread asked about selective schools in other areas besides Wilmington.

Well, Dr. Jef comes into my first thread and begins by telling me that my reasons for leaving were not so unique. Then went on to explain that successful people are usually driven by insecurity.

HUH???

[ebuch]

Kinda lost where you are going with this. I am too looking at leaving the area because I think there are other things out there to see. I've spent my whole life here and have no complaints, just looking for a change. Life is too short to live with regrets, if you don't like it you can always come back..

[Karen71]

#1 I never assumed there was anything unique about my situation. Most people leave small towns for the same reason. But I couldn't help but wonder why DRJEF would jump out of the box with negativity and a FAILED attempt to somehow debase me--with all of my world travel, Ivy League degrees, Ivy Leagued-hubby, and privately schooled children who attend residential summer camps abroad.

Of course, I realize it's human nature to hate that others are doing well and enjoying life while you are seemingly miserable. THEN, I remembered a few other incidents with Delawareans who couldn't accomplish what I have in their DREAMS so they make horrendously, obviously jealousy-based remarks. I want to stress it was just a FEW. I still find the VAST MAJORITY of Delawareans to be EXTREMELY nice.

DRJEF then attempted to support his claims about inferiority leading to success with the illustration of an ex-girlfriend who grew up in an upper middle class family but for some reason felt SHAME about being from a small town. *cough*bulls--*cough*

Uh...Shame???

The shame usually doesn't come until one's OUT OF the hick town and in the company of more sophisticated cosmopolitian people.

Then, in the thread about the selective schools, he ended his post with "You said DE was so boring so blah...Why would you want to move your children to the most depraved part of the state?" (or something to that effect.)

DRJEF, What's the problem? Were you the smartest person in the room until I showed up?

[doctorjef]

I'm not sure that your post is actually within the remit of this forum, since the rules state it's to be about the state in question, and not about chatting. You don't seem to understand my posts, so you can always PM me for clarification/expansion. Also, I get the sense that my assertions threaten you. Really, my own view is that this isn't a discussion appropriate for a state forum.

[Karen71]

Originally Posted by doctorjef

I'm not sure that your post is actually within the remit of this forum, since the rules state it's to be about the state in question, and not about chatting. You don't seem to understand my posts, so you can always PM me for clarification/expansion. Also, I get the sense that my assertions threaten you. Really, my own view is that this isn't a discussion appropriate for a state forum.

I think I understand your posts just fine. I just don't understand the underlying feelings behind them. Are they prevalent throughout the state?

I'd love to know if this intimidation of the more "worldly" is a Delawarean thing or just a DrJef thing.

[Karen71]

Originally Posted by ebuch

Kinda lost where you are going with this. I am too looking at leaving the area because I think there are other things out there to see. I've spent my whole life here and have no complaints, just looking for a change. Life is too short to live with regrets, if you don't like it you can always come back..

Oh, how I agree with you.

And it's just those feelings that caused me to leave years ago.

I also left with the feeling that I can always come back when I'm older and/or have seen the world.

BUT, I knew I'd be living a life of regrets if I'd just stayed, gotten the 9-5, married a nice college kid, and had kids.

DO IT!!! GO FOR IT!! LIVE YOUR DREAMS!!! YOU ONLY GET ONE CHANCE ON THIS MERRY-GO-ROUND!!! May as well enjoy it while you can!

[xenourtv]

Originally Posted by Karen71

I know I know...people are the same wherever you go. BUT....

My recent post raised this question in the back of my head.

I discovered and created my first thread on this site just a day or 2 ago.

In one thread I gave my reason(s) for leaving DE. I had nothing horrible to say about the state--just recognized my need to experience LIFE outside of the small boundaries. My second thread asked about selective schools in other areas besides Wilmington.

Well, Dr. Jef comes into my first thread and begins by telling me that my reasons for leaving were not so unique. Then went on to explain that successful people are usually driven by insecurity.

HUH???

I kind of understand where drjef was coming from when he meant that most people leave due to some form of inferiority complex. I will give you an example.

I was raised in Chicago, not the suburbs, the city, and I went to college in Chicago. Went to school in Chicago and after college got a job in Atlanta another big city. I met a lot of people from college and work from towns that I have not even heard of and they usually provided the same reason why they left their small town, and that is to see the world, and their is nothing wrong with it. However what you do not know is that the majority of those folks from small towns, "who went to that big city with so much culture" often go back to there small town within a few years or so. I do not understand, and I think it really points out to what drjef was saying.

I met one of the most smartest, intelligent woman back in college who came from the most rural part of Michigan, probably to this day who had what it took to be a successful doctor. After 4 years of just living in the city she decided to take what she learned back to Michigan. I asked why, and she said she felt that she was needed back home. An open-minded individual, who in my opinion had a great time living in the city, could have been a great doctor in Chicago but she left. Internships to some of the finest well respected hospitals in Chicago, like Northwestern, UofI, Loyola hospitals. I remember going out with her when she was a freshman and she was so excited, enthusiastic, just to be away from her hometown. I do not think i have ever met anyone so happy to be living in a major metropolis. Then as time went by she was telling me that I should go with her to her small town, and I would really like it. Ironically she was right... I am in Delaware right now and I actually like it here surprisingly enough.

It has to be overcoming some sort of inferiority by living in a rural area, because she took that risk and wasted all that money and time to experience something new. With all her success and everything that she accomplished in Chicago she decided to go back, not exactly to her own rural town, but somewhere near.

[xenourtv]

The bottom line is that I have always wondered why would anybody do something like that...you already established yourself in one of the largest markets in the world and instead if going to some of the top med school top programs in the country, you make a decision working near your small town as an RN at a local hospital. After reading drjefs posts that is a possible answer. Just because your transition to the big city was a success does not make you better than other people. In fact you are just a transplant, not a true native. I do not know if you are actually going to settle where you are at and be an urbanite and actually raise your future children in the city, only time will tell. However do not go out and say people from small towns are jealous of people from big cities.

I probably have seen almost everything the big city has to offer more than you can ever imagine, not just the trendy neighborhoods and tourist attractions that you probably have limit yourself too. It is a big world but I do not think just going to Time Square or living in Manhattan make you a true New Yorker. I value the kindness of the people in Delaware, and the way people seem to settle down. This is definitaley a good change of pace for me, and even though Chicago will always be home, I would not mind starting a family here in Delaware.

Most people who leave their small towns often go back, obviously for the ones who do not make it, they have reason to go back, but I have always wondered why most of the success stories go back and I kind of have an idea why, especially why they do it in the first place.

[ScottyG]

Originally Posted by Karen71

#1 I never assumed there was anything unique about my situation. Most people leave small towns for the same reason. But I couldn't help but wonder why DRJEF would jump out of the box with negativity and a FAILED attempt to somehow debase me--with all of my world travel, Ivy League degrees, Ivy Leagued-hubby, and privately schooled children who attend residential summer camps abroad.

Of course, I realize it's human nature to hate that others are doing well and enjoying life while you are seemingly miserable. THEN, I remembered a few other incidents with Delawareans who couldn't accomplish what I have in their DREAMS so they make horrendously, obviously jealousy-based remarks. I want to stress it was just a FEW. I still find the VAST MAJORITY of Delawareans to be EXTREMELY nice.

DRJEF then attempted to support his claims about inferiority leading to success with the illustration of an ex-girlfriend who grew up in an upper middle class family but for some reason felt SHAME about being from a small town. *cough*bulls--*cough*

Uh...Shame???

The shame usually doesn't come until one's OUT OF the hick town and in the company of more sophisticated cosmopolitian people.

Then, in the thread about the selective schools, he ended his post with "You said DE was so boring so blah...Why would you want to move your children to the most depraved part of the state?" (or something to that effect.)

DRJEF, What's the problem? Were you the smartest person in the room until I showed up?

If your idea of a fulfilled and satisfied life comes from where your lat/long falls on Earth, then you are looking in the wrong places. Good Luck with the sophisticated people, in the mean time, the hicks will be clinging to their guns and God.

[kat196]

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