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Old 07-08-2009, 09:06 PM
 
Location: Greenville, Delaware
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Here's the thing. I can imagine it may be hard to move from anywhere that really feels like home in so many ways. Having grown up with my dad in the military and then building a civilian career in academia, I moved and moved and always had my efforts at setting down roots thwarted. As an adult I've moved a great deal, since where I graduated HS wasn't home and because my parents continued to move around after I left their home. I did live for a stretch of 19 years in Austin, TX and of course really did feel a part of the place; yet, my partner and I felt bored with it by the time we moved to eastern Europe at close to 50 (a couple of months shy of, in my case). When we returned to the States (from England), I wanted to be back in my childhood area of the Mid-Atlantic, even though I no longer have friends or family here really. Geographically and historically for me it's still home in significant ways. I'm only relating this to reflect upon how others might experience such a move. I don't think there's anywhere we could go that would be a move back to some idealised home. My only real disatisfaction with DE is that the winter is too long and cold, although I'm giving it a chance to see if all winters are as bad as the last one. There isn't any perfect place to live.
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Old 07-08-2009, 10:55 PM
 
1,316 posts, read 3,892,419 times
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Originally Posted by doctorjef View Post
Here's the thing. I can imagine it may be hard to move from anywhere that really feels like home in so many ways. Having grown up with my dad in the military and then building a civilian career in academia, I moved and moved and always had my efforts at setting down roots thwarted. As an adult I've moved a great deal, since where I graduated HS wasn't home and because my parents continued to move around after I left their home. I did live for a stretch of 19 years in Austin, TX and of course really did feel a part of the place; yet, my partner and I felt bored with it by the time we moved to eastern Europe at close to 50 (a couple of months shy of, in my case). When we returned to the States (from England), I wanted to be back in my childhood area of the Mid-Atlantic, even though I no longer have friends or family here really. Geographically and historically for me it's still home in significant ways. I'm only relating this to reflect upon how others might experience such a move. I don't think there's anywhere we could go that would be a move back to some idealised home. My only real disatisfaction with DE is that the winter is too long and cold, although I'm giving it a chance to see if all winters are as bad as the last one. There isn't any perfect place to live.
wow - can't believe it would be that bad...how long did the winter last? how much snow did you get? how cold during the day? what aprt of Delaware do you live? It must be milder along the coast -no? North I would think is worse...
My dear, I grew up in Buffalo NY where tomatoes get frostbite in July...and left Fairfield CT due to the winters...the winters in VA were a walk in the park in comparison - I can't imagine it's that brutal in Delaware...do tell!
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Old 07-08-2009, 11:04 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia View Post
I'm sorry I don't have time to read this long thread, but like others have already posted it all depends on you and what you are looking for and where you are coming from. I grew up in DE my whole life and thought the same thing that it was boring and that you had to drive everywhere and that I had already seen everything there was to see in such a tiny place. So 3 years ago my fiance and I moved to NC to Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill area. Supposedly this was the place to be back then. Anyway, long story short we would sell our souls to the devil himself if we could get out of NC and back to DE where our friends and family are. Where it takes less than 2 hours to get to the beach (used to take me 1hr 20 minutes from Bear), where there are fun bars within walking distance of almost anywhere you live and where I feel like there is ALWAYS something to do. Where everything doesn't close at 9pm (for us night owls) and where everything isn't closed on Sunday so everyone can go to church (I attend the church of NFL thank-you). Where you are like 20 to 40 minutes to Philly (oh how I long to go to Philly!!!) or about 1 hour or so from Baltimore. You can take a weekend trip to DC or VA beach.

I think people who think DE is boring are people who are boring or unimaginitive. There is tons to do there or around there, you just have to look for it.

I'd give anything to move back to DE. Does anyone want to buy a house in NC??? I'm selling cheap!!!
good luck with the house sale...I am sure it will sell soon...
yeah, unless you're a techie geek the triangle is a big subdivision type environment for the most part with a college town vibe.....
where in Delaware did you live where you were 40 minutes to philly and an hour to Baltimore? sounds ideal! all things being equal, what would be your number one town to move to? Thanks !
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Old 07-08-2009, 11:17 PM
 
1,316 posts, read 3,892,419 times
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Originally Posted by anniebleu View Post
Magilla,

We've lived in the Dover area for more than thirty years, and, yes, we are ready to move on--have been, for various reasons, for quite a while--yet I want to respond to your excitement about the area positively, and I can do that!

Our favorite times here were when our children were young--they grew up here--and the first several years included quite a few happy discoveries. You are, as Eliza and others (probably) have told you, about half an hour to the ocean beaches from Magnolia, and I agree that Cape Henlopen is one of the best. From our part of Dover, it takes about an hour to get to the ocean beaches. And if nobody has mentioned this, it can be longer during the summer months. We leave early for the beaches, return early, and during the week is better than weekends, of course.

If you're driving west to DC or elsewhere, keep in mind that the Chesapeake Bay Bridges, and approaching roads, are truly to be avoided on Sunday afternoons and Monday mornings, when the hordes return from the beaches. They tend to leave to drive east TO the beaches from later Thursday afternoons (especially from July on) and there can be back-ups of many miles and hours on Fridays and Saturdays especially.

Our children, husband and I too, so enjoyed Killens Pond State Park, not far south of Dover. There's a busy waterpark there now, but the best place is the pond, with a trail all the way around. According to us anyway. The pond is surrounded by woods, and there's enough hilliness to make us almost feel as if we're in New England.

Bombay Hook Wildlife Refuge, not far to the northeast, is an amazing place for those who like birds and wetlands flora, including changing displays of wildflowers throughout the spring and summer, and lovely foliage colors in the fall. Get literature at Refuge headquarters. This isn't the time of year for getting out of your car unless you don't mind spraying yourselves from head to toe with chemicals, but riding through now is pleasant, and there are some paths to walk from later October until sometime in May, and during the cooler months, the migrating birds are wonderful! One sight to alert you to: you can clearly see a nuclear plant (in New Jersey) from parts of the Refuge, but we learned early on to block this from our consciousness! Well, most of the time.

Check out Dover's several museums. They are worth some of your time. Plans are being worked out--last I heard--for a new library. I'm sure you'll find much more to report on. Since we've been in the ready-to-move mode for a while, with our gazes turned elsewhere, I depend on new arrivals to report some of the things, places, we may have missed! In fact, when I find some free time, I may post a list of questions!

This has been, as PA (I think--read just a little and rapidly) wrote, an unusually cool and wet spring. It reminds me of the springs of years back. For ten years or so, we've had hot weather and drought commonly in the spring.

Yes, it will get hot and humid. It will not likely--I do know people who've lived there--be nearly as h & h as Louisiana!

All best to you,

Annie
dear annie - where may I ask are you looking to move to? forgive me but it sounds like your decision to leave is a bit bittersweet...is the weather different between the wilmington area versus Dover? is one more humid in the summer, or cooler in the winter? thanks...
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Old 07-08-2009, 11:18 PM
 
Location: Kent County, DE
699 posts, read 2,886,793 times
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Originally Posted by 12buttons View Post
wow - can't believe it would be that bad...how long did the winter last? how much snow did you get? how cold during the day? what aprt of Delaware do you live? It must be milder along the coast -no? North I would think is worse...
My dear, I grew up in Buffalo NY where tomatoes get frostbite in July...and left Fairfield CT due to the winters...the winters in VA were a walk in the park in comparison - I can't imagine it's that brutal in Delaware...do tell!
I've been in DE, Kent Co. for three years now. Last winter was the worst. It usually rarely snows here but we had quite a storm in February. We missed all the fun but had to travel to BWI in the midst of the storm. Our flight to the DR would have left without us but we made it even though we were the only nuts on the road traveling from DE.

Anyway, last year was the exception. Normally there's very little snow and because it's flat driving is usually not a problem. It does get cold but usually just in spells. I wear a long scarf, gloves and something to break the wind and I fare pretty well during the winter months. I wouldn't call it brutal at all but last winter seemed to last forever. Now we're enjoying the coolest summer so far. Very pleasant, go figure!!!
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Old 07-09-2009, 12:37 AM
 
Location: Tucson/Nogales
23,106 posts, read 28,835,190 times
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Originally Posted by elizamary View Post
I definatel agree Dr Jeff.
I was raised in a hick town outside Philly. We used to go in Philly for that was where the action was.
No dining room table where you lived in that hick town, where you could have some action with some friend and relatives playing a board or card game?
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Old 07-09-2009, 06:03 AM
 
16,199 posts, read 11,635,890 times
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Last winter...........

Well I guess my assessment of last winter really wouldn't be fair cuz I was back and forth from Dover to Maine.
Now Maine....that is brutal.

We moved from Philly 2 1/2 years ago. First thing we did was buy a snowblower......never used it.
Of course they shovel the roads in our community. We just have a walk way and driveway.
Actually........there was one time I wanted to use it but couldn't figure out how to work it so to save time I just grabbed the shovel.
Last winter was more snow than before but it is winter.
What I like is the four seasons.
Believe me Buttons........this is no buffalo. No siree. Big difference.
And in my opinion it is milder here than in PA. Along the coast does help.


Trijlover.........to answer you.......yes we had dinning room tables but I was 20/21 and looking for a bit more than the life I lead now as a senior ciitizen.
I know for sure......back when I was in my late teens and early twenties...I would not like living here. Hey thats me. If it suites you then go for it.
See it is board games now but certainly not then.
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Old 07-09-2009, 06:22 AM
 
Location: Greenville, Delaware
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The above descriptions regarding the winter, and last winter in particular, are accurate. One of my own considerations in moving to DE is that I felt this was as far north as I could actually tolerate the winter weather. The coolness of this summer so far has indeed been wonderful. I'm not really a winter person and the last two places I lived were the South of England and Austin, TX, so DE winters have been a challenge. The previous year here we did actually see a week of very mild temps in January, with highs getting into the 70s some days. The thing is, last winter started very early and went on quite late, with no let-up. Even at that, not a huge amount of snow, just unremitting cold. I am hoping that it does indeed prove to be the exception and that future winters will prove more tolerable. If we had a string of such cold, long winters that would really drive me either farther south or back across the pond. However, if you're coming from upstate NY, winter here would be a piece of cake.
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Old 07-27-2009, 11:38 AM
 
Location: Asheville, NC
12,626 posts, read 31,935,722 times
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Originally Posted by Sugar Magnolia View Post
I see your perspective as far as perhaps my homesickness is slightly idealizing DE. And since I grew up there and almost all of my networks are there, for me there is always something to do, someone having a dinner party, or going to NYC for the weekend and I could tag along. But I have friends who live all over. I grew up in Bear, and while perhaps not within walking distance, within a very short driving distance there are ok enough bars (it's not NYC or LA for goodness sake, but it isn't as expensive as there either). Newark, even if you don't live by UD (which when I lived there I did) you can still get to bars that don't all draw in the college crowd. Of course the beach has bars, but when I go there it is to visit the in laws and there are great bars in the Fenwick area (I don't ever go to Dewey anymore--- I'm too old for that non-sense). Wilmington has many many places to choose from- pretty much anywhere the Loop goes, and up 202 there are hidden places, and not so hidden ones. Plus there are dive/neighborhood bars like Steve's (is that place still around???). Of course bars aren't the only thing I think about. I think of all of the museums and things to go and do from DC all the way to NYC and even Jersey (though Jersey is a last resort I must admit) and there are hiking trails and biking trails. Yes we have those here as well, but you have to drive at least 30 minutes to get to anything decent, whereas when we lived in Newark, you could go out the back door on your bike and be at White Clay Creek in a short bike ride. There are far better concerts up there in my opinion (mostly because I don't care for country music).

As far as where I am living, we lived for a year in North Raleigh. There was a nice bar within walking distance, it just so happened that there were a lot of shootings within that same walking distance. We work in Durham and there are plenty of bars there too I suppose, but again I'm not so young that all I care about is bar hopping (I have to drive to get home). As far as friends go, I don't really know how to explain it to people, but if you relocate here, you understand. We have made "friends" here, but they aren't the same as the friendships we have back home. We've been here 3 years and we are well aware that it takes time to meet people and make lasting friendships, but it is almost as if the people who are from here are extremely reluctant to let people into their circle. Me and my friends back home were never like that. I have friends from all different parts of my life, new ones and old ones. And when someone brings a new friend to a dinner party I'm throwing I welcome them with open arms. It isn't like that here at all. People here stick with the friends they've had since high school or college. At least all of the ones my fiance and I have met (and we have met quite a few people here). Actually, the irony is the people we've made pretty good friendships with are all from somewhere else. Don't misunderstand, it isn't all bad here, we just aren't happy here. This place has some great things to offer, they just aren't the things we are looking for right now in our lives.

I appreciate the fact that I do have a bias, so take what I say, and what everyone on here says with a grain of salt. Like I mentioned before it all depends on the person and what you are looking for. We aren't looking for a constant party, and we appreciate things other than bars. We don't go to church and we don't plan to have kids. That leaves a lot out down here, that wouldn't be left out up there. But I would never tell someone that they should or should not have moved or move somewhere based solely on my experience. I am glad we moved here and had the experience, now I'm ready to come home and sometimes you can't appreciate what you have until it's gone... ok I won't belt out in song.

That being said, I guess to me Delaware isn't really that boring. And for everyone who thinks it is, why not just move out and go someplace more exciting, or more suitable??? That way you can 1) be happy and 2) sell your house to me, for cheap. hehehe. and 3) you can figure it out for yourself. That is the best advice I have, you just have to experience things and see if you like them.
Is it that you want to come back to DE b/c you miss friends and family? If your family and friends lived in N. Raleigh, would you like it better there? Could you compare N Raleigh to say Dover? If you want to DM your house to me, I'd love to see it. How do you compare the cost of living between DE and NC?
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Old 08-04-2009, 08:17 AM
 
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Originally Posted by beckycat View Post
Is it that you want to come back to DE b/c you miss friends and family? If your family and friends lived in N. Raleigh, would you like it better there? Could you compare N Raleigh to say Dover? If you want to DM your house to me, I'd love to see it. How do you compare the cost of living between DE and NC?
Hi Beckycat,
to answer your questions, I am not sure if my friends and family lived in Raleigh if I would still want to move back or not. Maybe not. I have been thinking about this. It is also the familiarity of it all. It just feels like home to me. Also, like I said Philly is really close as is Baltimore and even Washington DC if I wanted to take a weekend trip or something. I just miss waking up on Saturday morning and saying to myself "I think I'll drive to the beach today" and I go to the beach spend hours there and still arrive home before 7pm. I can't do that here, it takes 2.5 hours to get to the beach for me. In my opinion it is just a waste of time. (however, I will tell you that in general the beaches here are cleaner and nicer).

Sure there are similar things to do here in Raleigh that I can do back home I suppose, but the atmosephere feels different to me. This is coming from a 29 year old with no children (not planning on them). My partner is in the tech industry which is the only reason outside of cheap real estate that we moved here. This place is absolutely perfect for those wanting to start a family. Extremely family friendly and much to do for little ones. And of course if you like to go to church, you'll have many to choose from. None of this is really my scene though. I'm not looking to go to Chapel Hill every weekend and "party" at nightclubs with 20 year olds in prom dressed (yes, they wear prom dresses to go to a bar- a sticky nasty bar at that), and I'm not ready to retire or have a bunch of rug rats. All of my friends my age say the same thing about this place. We can't figure out why everyone is saying this is the best place for singles or whatever. Those of us who live here disagree, and my friends here who have lived here for life don't get it.

As for the cost of living, well I personally think it is more expensive to live in general here. Houses are cheaper in some areas, but more expensive in others (like Orange county, for no reason other than you can say you live in Chapel Hill, which isn't that impressive actually). The reason I say it is more expensive to live is unless you work in the tech industry or a few others that are popular here you won't make much more than in DE. Ok, if you buy a cheaper house, but if you buy a cheaper house, most likely you will be commuting an hour each way like I do. It really is a catch 22, and I think it is probably true in many areas of the country (but not so much in DE I think because everything is just so close; its a small state). Don't forget also, we have the highest gas tax which doesn't seem like much, but it adds up on that hour commute. Also, if you are used to tax free shopping, well, you'll be bummed. There are other city, municipality taxes in Raleigh/Wake county that are higher than in DE (with the exception of living within city limits of Wilm.-but even that isn't as bad I don't think). And to get almost anywhere here you have to drive for a while. I am used to it now, so whenever I come to DE to visit I am amazed. Things are very spread out here. That can be good, and can be bad, depending on what you are looking for. I'm not a fan, but that is just me.

As far as Dover goes, I lived in Smyrna for 1 year (partner lived there 2 years) and there is no way in hell I'd move to Dover. I'd stay here before I'd move to Dover. I can't explain exactly why, a lot of people love Dover. I am not one of those people. There are a lot of airforce guys in Dover- I don't know if that is good or bad for you. Not as far as I recall a lot to do there and it is smack dab in the middle of the state. Again that could be good or bad, but I wouldn't like it for me. Oh NASCAR goes to Dover... not a fan of that either so not a selling point for me.

Weather here is better as far as winter not lasting very long (but we do get snow here-if 1 inch counts), but it is more humid here in summer.

I am sorry I feel like this isn't very helpful at all. I just can't explain other than I am homesick and that is pretty hard to describe. Jeremy, my partner keeps saying that if I moved back to DE for a month or so, I'd change my tune, but I don't know about that. Different strokes for different folks I say.

Good luck.
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