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There have been plenty of threads that discuss your query ...you might want to take advantage of them.
Delaware has very few Towns-Cities - So you need to look through the prism of a suburban sprawl that is geographically divided into various, fairly large, school districts. Brandywine, Christina, Red Clay and Colonial will be the districts closer to Jersey. There will be others who will toot the horn of Appoquinimink - which is where many new and -foreclosed - homes exist but it is not substantially better other than it is less diverse.
You would be commuting to which part of So. Jersey or how many miles from DE Mem. Bridge or is the location closer to Commodore Barry Bridge ...that will have a bearing on what possibilities exist for your family to live.
I hope this was of some help!!
If not, just ask more specific questions?
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