Religion and socializing (Denver, Aurora, Westminster: fit in, townhouse, neighborhoods) - Colorado (CO) - City-Data Forum

WiW · 08-03-2010, 06:28 PM

I have read a number of threads on racism (in the sticky section), but haven't come across any on religion, so I thought I'd ask it here. This is not something that I can ascertain in a short visit to Denver.

In some parts of the country (I've been told, but haven't lived anywhere else in the USA but NJ, so feel free to negate it), the predominant social center is the church - rather than the neighborhood. You need to belong to the church to fit in. Is this the case in any of the Denver neighborhoods or the surrounding towns?

From what I've read here, people in Denver are friendly. Does that mean that they wave and say hello on the street, or are neighbors invited to each others homes with the potential for real friendships? Does religious background play a part?

I am an atheist, but fully respect the rights of people to follow whatever religion they wish to (or not, for that matter). I grew up Catholic in India with Hindus, Muslims, Buddhists, Parsees, Jains and Sikhs around me.

I worry. Will my lack of belief be an issue? It isnt' an issue where I currently live. But, like I said, I'm asking because it isn't something I can ascertain on a short visit. I also fully expect there to be divergent views on this subject.

Thank you.

Brian_M · 08-03-2010, 07:06 PM

I've lived in 16 different places since leaving my folks place, from Washington state to Washington DC and lots of places in between. I have NEVER lived somewhere where neighbors invite each other into their homes. Here, I've met 2 neighbors when we first moved in with handshakes, 1 that says hello in passing, and 1 that throws their trash all over my driveway, ran their car into my garage (speculating, but the tracks in the fresh snow were fairly indicative) and scowl at us. No one has mentioned anything about Religion (other than when a couple ladys representing the corner church stopped by to invite us to a Saturday grill-out), actually I've never been asked about my Religious thoughts anywhere I've lived ~ and rightly so.

But yes, the Church and the School/kids are the 2 Biggest social meeting places still. It's an issue my wife and I face everywhere (not church-goers and we will never have kids) ~ we have found it very difficult to meet people whos lives aren't centered around Church or Kids (or killing brain cells with drugs/drinking).

Bradburn1 · 08-03-2010, 07:15 PM

Well in my neighborhood, Bradburn Village in Westminster, social life is organized around the neighborhood for sure--and we even have a church IN the neighborhood (which some residents attend but most do not). Bradburn has tons of neighborhood social events and religion is never an issue, it's just not something we discuss. I talk to neighbors every day and am in neighbor's homes frequently, often several times a week. Everyone here knows each other, it's just a very friendly place with a strong sense of community and religion has zero to do with it.

Denver and Boulder are very live and let live in my experience, so I don't think you should have any problems.

downtownnola · 08-03-2010, 07:32 PM

I agree with the previous poster. The Denver area has a live and let live vibe. I don't think you'll have anyone judge you for your religious beliefs or lack thereof. I do not attend church, but have a rich social life here. I'm sure you'll find all kinds of people with similar views and interests.

I've never personally found the people here to be all that friendly. Don't expect some sort of Mayberry where people stop to talk to you on the street or wave from their car. Denver's still a big city and I don't find it nearly as friendly as some of the smaller cities I've lived in. I'd say that people here are cordial, but not overtly friendly.

Bradburn1 · 08-03-2010, 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by downtownnola

Don't expect some sort of Mayberry where people stop to talk to you on the street or wave from their car. Denver's still a big city and I don't find it nearly as friendly as some of the smaller cities I've lived in. I'd say that people here are cordial, but not overtly friendly.

Well, unless you happen to move to Bradburn which is essentially Mayberry--with beer.

vegaspilgrim · 08-03-2010, 07:37 PM

No matter where you live, churches/religious/spiritual groups are probably the quickest way to meet people, make some instant friends, especially when you have moved to a brand new town. However, if you aren't religious, or don't happen to share the dominant religion of the area, or your particular religious denomination is messed up (or all the above), then unfortunately you won't have that avenue. But there are many other ways to meet people, of course.

Whether or not you have a real "neighborhood" feel might just depend on where you live. There are places in the both "the city" and "the suburbs" that have that feel, and places that don't. Are you a single? Family? Kids?

Katarina Witt · 08-03-2010, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vegaspilgrim

No matter where you live, churches/religious/spiritual groups are probably the quickest way to meet people, make some instant friends, especially when you have moved to a brand new town. However, if you aren't religious, or don't happen to share the dominant religion of the area, or your particular religious denomination is messed up (or all the above), then unfortunately you won't have that avenue. But there are many other ways to meet people, of course.

Whether or not you have a real "neighborhood" feel might just depend on where you live. There are places in the both "the city" and "the suburbs" that have that feel, and places that don't. Are you a single? Family? Kids?

I agree. I have lived in unfriendly neighborhoods in both the city (Denver) and the suburbs (Littleton, Lafayette and Louisville). My current neighborhood is quite friendly; we have a neighborhood e-mail, the younger families have neighborhood car pools to the middle school and even younger families have playgroups. I have been in a walking group for about 15 years now. We usually have an all-neighborhood "block party" once a year. I can't tell you what the difference is; sometimes I think it just takes someone to organize this kind of stuff.

I will say I have never found it necessary to belong to a particular church or any church here. I have met some of my friends at church, but not all of them.

LisaBoulder · 08-03-2010, 08:06 PM

I agree with the others - I don't think being an atheist will be a problem. I consider myself agnostic and like you, respect others right to worship as they wish.

Neighborhoods really do vary on how social they are. My dad's neighborhood in Gunbarrel is extremely social but mine - not so much. Or maybe mine is too but the neighbors shun me and my husband.

When my Mom moved here she said that she didn't think that people were as neighborly as they were in CT. She did, however, meet a lot of her neighbors and made three really good friends once she got a dog and walked him near where she lives. I don't know if you are planning on working once you move here, but I've made some wonderful friends through my work. Another thing to consider is volunteering. I've met some great people through that too.

Bradburn1 · 08-03-2010, 09:04 PM

I often wonder why some neighborhoods are social/friendly and others aren't. I am fairly convinced Bradburn's design as a mixed-use, walkable neighborhood with front porches and lots of great places in walking distance (shops, parks, restaurants etc) has a lot to do with it. You cannot step outside a house/townhouse in here without running into neighbors because people are always out walking because--we have interesting places in walking distance. I'm sure some if it also has to do with social people being attracted to new urbanist neighborhoods as well but regardless of the exact reason, it works. I've never lived in a friendlier place.

ebeth79 · 08-04-2010, 08:17 AM

I'd agree that it varies by individual neighborhood. We've been here a year, and while we are Catholic- haven't found a "church home" yet. We rarely have even discussed church with anyone we know. Our neighborhood in SE Aurora is very social - and not just b/c of kids (we have the youngest kids of anyone on our street and still fit in). There's usually at least 1 party/cook out a month year round that is focused to the people on our street with different houses hosting. This is probably the most social neighborhood we've ever lived in. I come from the south, in an area where the church you attend would dominate conversation, not so much here.

I agree with what someone else said about volunteering. I volunteer and have met a lot of really nice people that way. In fact everyone we know here has either been met through my husband's work, our neighborhood or me volunteering. I'm sure you'll find your groove and meet folks once you're here.