Help 40 year old single woman thinking of move to denver? (fit in, find a job)
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Thank you first of all for any help you provide in advance. i have searched a great deal but have not been able to find information on what I am looking for.
I have lived in NYC most of my life. I broke up with my fiance and other things have happened that have made me want to move out of nyc. I loved it here in my 20's...and ok in my 30's. I need a change and was thinking of Denver. Thing is it seems like the singles scene is mostly for the 20 year olds. Or even early 30's. I usually date men about my age so I am looking for 35-45 singles scene; Is there a good one in Denver? I am not into the cougar thing. I know NYC there are a lot more women than men and the quality of men are not great (yes there are some good ones but few and far between, same with women IMO). And are there more men than women like I have heard in Denver? I am also going to post this in San diego and San fran areas as well although both maybe more than I want to spend on living and I feel like Denver is more down to earth than the other mentioned places above which I want..although I do like warm weather, but it seems the weather is mild in Denver and sunny most of the time.Pardon if my grammar is a mess or this is all over the place...its late....and right now my life is all over the place LOL. Thank you again for your help..
Ok so this some of what I am looking for tell me if it fits..there is more I probably need to add...
1) I want to settle down and get married at this point kids seem out of picture since I am getting up there..I don't mind divorcees etc..just good quality men who don't play games, in good shape as I am...so yes that is at top of list..that there are good quality men in my age range. I look much younger, but that does not mean I want to date 20 something year olds anymore since my breakup. Which I have done too much of here in NYC b/c the men my age and older are not great...and I end up meeting mostly younger men...the 51 year old I just recently ended things with had no energy, less money than the younger ones, and was so out of shape...it was gross..I make sure I stay in shape...
2) I am do like skiing, but I also like being a girl - dressing up in summer dresses and flip flops..or heels for only special occasions .I do love to hike and ski...but that is just part of it...I am not a total sports person....probably less so than most denver people who knows..I do love the outdoors and want a slower easier paced life than NYC which gives me anxiety daily.
3) School. I have post bachelors degree, but I probably want to go back for my RN whether it is associates or bachelors. I know there are a lot of schools in the area...
4) I want to be able to make new good female friends in my age range 30's and up.My age and up as well of course...with women I am more open to younger as opposed to dating...I don't really want a 10 year old younger guy.... I get along with people much younger than myself as I am a kid a heart in many ways and very bubbly. Outgoing etc....
5) Job stability and availability - I believe Denver has a lower unemployment rate than most...are jobs readily available? Currently I work in media field doing web production/web project mgt work...
6) Another concern is the weather. I think San Diego weather would fit in more with what I am looking for weather wise...but that is not the most important thing to me and Denver is milder than NYC correct? and sunnier? it gets so dark here early, like at 4pm during winter...and winter lasts about 6 mos and it gets depressing for me..all that darkness. I assume it is not so bad in Denver? bad for me anyway, others may not care about the darkness.....I like it to stay sunny until later in day....
My biggest concern is fitting in age wise....I will visit places for week or so before settling down..if I was ten years younger then maybe Denver would be perfect, but I am not...so anyway please advise
Last edited by NYCgirl23; 09-24-2011 at 02:10 AM..
Denver has people who are fun and fit at all ages. Because a lot of people are into outdoor activities, you will see people in their 70's and 80's out hiking and skiing. Don't know why you think that there are mostly young people there.........
I was in the 50-60 year old "dating scene" when I met my husband ten years ago. And he was older than me.
I can't speak of the dating scene in Denver, I live in the mountains and I'm married, but in general people are much more outdoor oriented and fitter than in the northeast. I can speak of the weather since I grew up in Connecticut. It is so much sunnier out here and almost no humidity so when it's 40 degrees and sunny out you can throw on a fleece and be warm. We don't get that grey winter sky that NYC gets, moisturizer, lip balm and sunscreen will be very necessary.
I too am a young looking late 30ies SWF wanting to move to Denver soon. There are several posts on here asking the same question from other 30-40something folks wanting to relocate. I have several friends that live in denver, most married and they love it, my married girl friends tell me there are alot of very attractive fit single men there I'm not into the online dating thing anymore but to get a feel of what kind of guys are out there, take a look on Match.com also checkout the Meetup groups. Our age is a tuff one anywhere you relocate to, esp if your single but I think Denver is growing fast with alot of folks like us in the same boat looking to meet others. I emailed of few people on CD that moved to Denver in our age range and it was all positive feedback..people seem to be friendly and wanting to make other friends. Like anywhere you move, you have to get involved in something which there are plenty of hiking, skiiing, etc groups that cater to that. Good Luck! I'm going out there in Oct to scout it out!
That definitely helps!! All the posts I read were about 20 something year olds and the single scene, I guess that is b/c there are more 20 something year olds that are single and yes any place is going to be tougher for the 35-45 year old age group. I do look about 30, but again I don't want to date really young guys anymore....Sounds like everyone if fit which is great..b/c in nyc even some of the 25 year olds I have dated have been in worse shape than me and overweight....Ok I am now very excited to check Denver out! California is just out of my price range right now as I am planning on going back to school maybe while working, maybe not. I could be married right now to my ex fiance, but I am glad I ended it...I would be miserable. I am excited to find a better match! and a new life...so tired of NYC..it is fun for a while, but a hard life...as many know who live in nyc...I will always love it..but for visiting purposes...
Thank you again everyone...I really appreciate your responses!!
I think you are concentrating too much on dating, like some teenager. You are trying to characterize Denver as so much different than NYC, as to the availability and types of men. Both these cities are big enough in population that a substantial variety of all kinds of potential mates. Keep in mind that we are a mobile society and people are well mixed and Denver is not isolated that it only develops its own breed of men and woman. Coming to Denver, thinking that your social life is going to change is nonsense. I am ex New Yorker and people in New Yorker have the same variety of people and the advantage of many more--they just talk louder.
Your main concern should be thinking about getting a job. It is very difficult to find a job in Denver and it is attracting all these dreamers. Rents are going up and jobs are scarce unless you have some unique skills and qualifications. Web Design and Web Management is just a drop in the bucket of all the people who have these abilities in this area. I suggest you find the job first and explore the area. Coming here with the idea for finding men and having the job as a secondary idea can cause problems, unless you have loads of money which you do not have because you say California is out of your league. It is not cheap here, either. If Dating is your primary goal, I would say as a New Yawker, forgetaboutid!
Thinking about going into to nursing at your age does not work well in moving to a new state, considering you do not have the time to wait for in state tuition--unless you have money but time and youth cannot be bought. If you are serious about nursing, you are in New York, then go to school there, now! Nursing is not an easy job and when you are over 40, approaching 50, it can wear on you, mentally and physically--regardless how you think you are in shape.
I suspect you are not serious about nursing, you are just running away from a bad relationship and think it is all going to be better in Denver, SanFran or San Diego and you are going to meet the perfect man. As it is often said "Wherever you go, there you are."
Last edited by livecontent; 09-25-2011 at 12:01 AM..
Sounds like Denver would be a good choice for you. It's got a wide mix of age groups, more down to earth than the coastal cities, and yes, it does seem like there's more men than women. Especially if you like the reserved, rugged outdoors type.
San Francisco? I don't know. Seems to me there's actually more women than men in the Bay Area, so might not be what you're looking for.
i've known or met a number of people who lived at different stages of their lives in NYC and Denver, or Denver and SF, so it seems these three cities are fairly compatible.
Denver weather is definitely better than NYC weather, especially the winters and summers. Denver is sunny much of the time.
There's a few neighborhoods in Denver that have a bit of an urban feel, so you could potentially seek out a place to live that won't give you a culture shock, and still be able to easily do the things that Denver and Colorado have which NYC doesn't.
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