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Old 05-10-2012, 10:09 PM
Location: Leaving Montana for good...
227 posts, read 383,895 times
Reputation: 257


Allright, today im just starting to really feel the pressure and need to get the hell outa my home state of Montana and town that I've been in for over 31 years. Getting tired of the same old people, same narrow minded college town girls with no desire to date and or too stuck up to bother, same crappy, unreliable weather patterns, same old small town mentality, same stupid mountains, ect...ect... I'm just really starting to feel the need for more and bigger in my life. A bit of a back story first:

Born and raised here obviously, I went to college here, got my associates in IT management, got some certifications, worked as a tech in back room for a local IT place for a few years and now im doing home based work for a large investment firm across the country which I do have the possibility of relocating, but it would all depend on timing and availability of a spot in a town anywhere across the nation. I do really like the job other then some long days driving on the highways as a result of my states spread out town system, so going to an urban environment with many more clients may or may not be enjoyable for me, hard to say at this point as my workload would increase alot but less long distance driving. My biggest worry about this however in this current economy, im having a hard time deciding if I really want to rock the boat as I just finished paying off the last of my consolidated credit card debt after all these years which feels good. Now I only now have my car as a debt, which I don't mind, I prefer having a newer car as thats how I roll. Granted, a bigger town will have more job opportunities, but also alot more competition to deal with, especially in the IT industry. In short, I know I will probably have a hard time finding a decent paying IT related job in most larger towns and I'm not sure if I'm quit ready to leave my comfortable and reliable job nest egg for that is my biggest worry about moving unless someone can point me in a direction of a town that has seen a steady or uprising job market in the IT sector.

My other big issue is I know I will have a very hard time dealing with not being able to see my folks across town anymore as we are a very close family and my parents sort of rely on me for some things, mostly tech related and physical worked. But I also have very few friends left in my town, my best friend has gone MIA and I doubt I'll ever see him again, another friend is moving soon and a gal pal I met after my break up is just very busy to do much anymore with me. I think I'm getting to the point where I need to break off that close connection with my family a bit and find myself in this new stage of my life. I had a 5 year relationship that ended back last Nov and its taken me all this time with therapy, new OCD medication and soul searching to get to this point in my life where I feel better about myself, sorta reborn and ready for the next stage in my life. I feel I would also to continue being a bachelor for awhile before I introduce another woman in my life for a variety of reasons. I would like to date more for fun but the big issue with that is I have NO DESIRE to ever have children for a variety of personal reasons which I won't get into here. Needless to say, that cuts down on ALOT of potential ladies that I could date in my area where the population isn't that big to begin with. Its even harder due to the fact to find my kinda gal that I want to date and maybe marry is really hard in my college based town, as the girls are either too young and immature and just want to party, too busy with college and or career or just want to breed like crazy and raise a family, none of which appease me at all. I'm not a bar scene kinda except on rare social fun occasions, I don't club, I don't drink heavily in public and I just prefer being a quiet, stay at home geek, which brings me to my next point. I don't feel comfortable at all walking into a bar or club scene by myself as im not a very outgoing kinda guy naturally, im pretty shy though I have been working hard to smile more in public, start casual conversation with guys and gals, but its not easy at times. I don't own a dog, I don't care much for them, I have a cat that I love dearly so no meeting people at the dog parks for me either. I'm getting slowly better at being less recluse thanks to new medication and therapy. I'm going to the gym more, being outside more *when we have good weather*trying to be more sociable by smiling public and starting general conversation with both guys and gals, but its not easy and not always possible every single day, its draining for an introvert like me.

By far the biggest reason I wanna move is I'm REALLY, REALLY needing to have more people around that I can meet with that like the same kinda things I do. To find unique social gathering type places, meet new people and friends and socialize and do things with to help keep me busy and have fun while I stay single in the meantime. My town/state horrendously sucks for having a selection of people who enjoy and or love gaming, technology, ect..ect... essentially what we do on this forum. The small selection of people that do exist are recluse and we basically have no social settings to promote gatherings and having LAN parties or comic con type conventions in my town which I REALLY, REALLY want to be a part of. I want to be able to go to technology shows and convections, to have places to take my PC rig and start LAN partying again with lots of people like me in a variety of ages and even sexes would be nice for a change. So I need some input and suggestions on where would be some ideal larger based towns in certain states that would be good for a reborn, geeky, hard working, fairly in shape, early 30's bachelor to move to for a new stage in his life. I do a have a few requirements though FYI:

1. NO huge towns like Seattle. That's overkill for a small town guy like me who's semi republican and uncomfortable about certain things I'm not used to being around, especially minorities and towns with lots of gangs and hoods. I don't have that "California" based mentality and I doubt I ever will. Needless to say, don't recommend California at all, or New York, as I'll probably get shot onsite for being a dumbass from a small hick town and state. I've thought about Portland for many years as its like my hometown but bigger and better, a nice balance of size, urban sprawl and still having lots of nature around.

2. A balance of liberal minded and conservative people. I would be considered a centrist in regards to many things. I grew up in a fairly liberal town with lots of hippies and a big college *for my states size* so I would really enjoy a change from being away from a college town and having more conservative people that also have more of an open mind. So you can forget Salt Lake City basically. I was raised Lutheran, so still hold the core values of Christianity, so I won't get along real good with being surrounded by pushy Muslims, Jews or die hard Catholics unless they are spread out. I mind my own business so I ask others to do the same for me. Basically, don't recommend me a town with a one way only mentality among the population, it won't work for me.

3. More tech based minded people and community. I want to be able to go to big LAN parties, tech meetings and conventions, costume getgothers and stuff like that as I'm that kinda person with those types of interests. Or least move to a town were I'm closer to places that host those types of things. This by far is the biggest reason I want to move, so town must have more opportunities and people like this for me

4. Nicer weather. I'm so sick of Montana's crappy and unreliable weather systems, cold, snowless winters and lackluster summers and springs. I want more sunshine so I can enjoy bike riding, going to a beach, get back to rollerblading and just being outside in general and having my car look shiny and clean for longer periods of time. I do go to the gym to keep in shape, but Im far from a gym rat and I don't mesh with people of the *all or nothing* gym mentality FYI.

5. NO EXTREMES OF WEATHER! One thing I very much liked about Montana is that our mountains broke up extremes of weather and I prefer to keep it that way in a new town and state. In short, DO NOT recommend cities where I have to worry about hurricanes, typhoons or tornadoes that can blow my ass off the face of the earth and likely kill me. No way, no thanks.

6. No moving to the bible belt area or east coast. End of discussion.

Thanks for reading my long backstory, needs and I guess ranting a bit lol! Please feel free to give me suggestions, comments or incite on what I should and should not do and go. Let me know if I need to clarify or elaborate on anything. Thanks for any info you can give me!
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Old 05-11-2012, 05:49 AM
13,675 posts, read 13,496,882 times
Reputation: 39794
Dude, no offense, but ... I did what you want to do last year after living most of the first 34 years of my life in Jersey. It's worked out great for me. I'm happier than I've ever been. But your post read to me like someone dealing with some pretty severe depression issues (I'm VERY familiar with depression - and OCD, if I'm being completely honest). Fix that first, before you make the move. Otherwise you're just gonna find more of the same.

And, um, "pushy Muslims, Jews or diehard Catholics"? Seriously?
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Old 05-11-2012, 05:56 AM
Location: Utah
3 posts, read 2,538 times
Reputation: 13
Default Moving away from Montana

So, I get what you mean by all that "close mentality" stuff. It sucks to live in a place where people gossip all the time about you and you can't hang out with "cool" people. Montana is a nice state, though, regarding nature. Anyways, would you prefer west over east? south, maybe? I think Denver is a very good option. The city is very clean, safe and people are very friendly. Moreover, some of the best ski centers are just a few miles from downtown. The city is vibrant, modern and culturally diverse. If I were you, Denver would be on my list. Another very good option is Salt Lake City, Utah. It's beautiful and its weather it's ok, you have cold dry winters, which means it's not freezing, the humidity is low. Summers are around the 90s. Fall is amaizing, best season in SLC. If you like outdoor activities, SLC is the palce to be. Hiking, skiing, fishing, etc, all things you can do just a few minutes from downtown. What's more, Utah is very cheap. From houses to food, everything is cheap compared to other states, like California or Colorado. People think Utah is 100% Mormon, which is not true, especially in SLC, where just 30% of the population is. The city is very open to different religions, cultures. It's diverse as well, you'll find people from Mexico, India or Thailand, etc. So, I think two good options are Denver and Salt Lake City. It all depends on what you're looking for. Let me know if you have any more questions.
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Old 05-11-2012, 07:40 AM
Location: Denver, CO
5,608 posts, read 20,674,043 times
Reputation: 5338
Denver is going to have too many minorities for you. Too many Catholics, and yes, there are even some Muslims and some pesky Jews. While Seattle is bigger than Denver, you're comparing greater metro areas of approx ~4million to ~3million, so they're roughly about the same size-- if Seattle is way too big for you Denver is probably too big too.
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Old 05-11-2012, 08:21 AM
Location: Arvada, CO
13,228 posts, read 24,324,918 times
Reputation: 12948
OP, are you even interested in Denver? Your post IMO makes it sound like Denver (or virtually any other fairly populated city in the west) is one of the last places you should be.

Maybe Boise? Spokane?

I take it you're from Missoula? Maybe try something similar to ^those two before you think about graduating to a Denver/Portland/etc.
Moderator for Los Angeles, The Inland Empire, and the Washington state forums.
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Old 05-11-2012, 08:58 AM
2,514 posts, read 3,488,646 times
Reputation: 5069
I don't think you will like it here. The technology jobs are filled with different nationalities, backgrounds and religions. You air your views and it will be very hard for you to make friends or even hold a job. Same thing with your personal life. People here are pretty educated and tend to like making friends with a diverse group of people. Having one in the bunch with your views would not be welcome.

I think someone messed up your Christian education. Being Christian does not mean you can't get along with other people who are not just like you.
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Old 05-11-2012, 09:46 AM
Location: The Berk in Denver, CO USA
13,953 posts, read 20,207,715 times
Reputation: 22591
Default Do not even think of moving here

Originally Posted by 1ceTr0n View Post
I won't get along real good with being surrounded by pushy Muslims, Jews or die hard Catholics
You will be very unhappy in the greater Denver area.

Some data
Moderator cut: link removed, linking to competitor sites is not allowed

Also this
but, for some reason, it shows no Jews living in Denver.

And, then there is this
Taylor & Francis Online :: Muslims in Colorado: From a Novelty Religion to a Thriving Community - Journal of Muslim Minority Affairs - Volume 29, Issue 3

Last edited by Yac; 05-15-2012 at 06:10 AM..
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Old 05-11-2012, 03:03 PM
811 posts, read 1,224,188 times
Reputation: 2111
Originally Posted by mic111 View Post
People here are pretty educated and tend to like making friends with a diverse group of people. Having one in the bunch with your views would not be welcome.
Hard to discern if this is true bigotry or simply a lack of exposure to "a diverse group of people" through no fault of the OP. All four of my adult siblings are born/bred Montanans (though I'm not - long story) and I've spent enough time there to know there's not exactly a huge amount of diversity there. This is, as far as I can tell, not their fault. It just is what it is. How our OP would adapt to a more "diverse" environment like Denver is unclear. I don't get the sense Montana breeds all that many fire-breathing knuckle-dragging neanderthals wearing sheets and waving around the Confederate flag like you might find in South Carolina. Our OP here might fit in just fine with the Denver vibe, which was pretty much "live and let live" when I lived there some time back. I understand the need/desire to change things up, especially at the time of life he's describing, which can be hard, hard, hard. I once moved to Denver with zero contacts or connections at age 26 and it ended up being one of the greatest moves I ever made. Everybody's experience is unique, but I'm sure I'd want to experience a bigger city (for a time) if I grew up in a state like MT, ID, or WY. See the world a bit. Get to know some people who aren't my exact demographic. See what that's all about. Maybe expand my worldview a bit.
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Old 05-11-2012, 04:06 PM
2,307 posts, read 5,867,872 times
Reputation: 1756
OP, did you even go back and really read your original post? To sum it up:

You want to get out of your small town in Montana because you are tired of the same old people with the same old small town mentality.


You want to be in a small town around people who are exactly like you, who like exactly what you like, who can't be too far removed from your religious/political views, etc.

It seems like you want to move your small town into a larger town setting and call it done. It doesn't work that way. Every place has it's pros and cons. There is no perfect place. YOu have to evaluate what the pros and cons of a new location mean to you. And I don't think Denver would be the right place for you at all. Too big, too multicultural, too many other variables that don't fit within your criteria.

Keep looking.
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Old 05-12-2012, 08:31 AM
Location: here
24,839 posts, read 29,990,170 times
Reputation: 32387
Originally Posted by lhafer View Post
OP, did you even go back and really read your original post? To sum it up:

You want to get out of your small town in Montana because you are tired of the same old people with the same old small town mentality.


You want to be in a small town around people who are exactly like you, who like exactly what you like, who can't be too far removed from your religious/political views, etc.

this. Plus, Denver has basically the same weather pattern as MT. You car will not stay "shiny" for very long here. Denver is both too big a city for you, and too similar to where you are coming from.

No place is perfect. You are never going to find a city with everything on your list.
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