CO wins - moving back to Chicago in a week (Denver: neighborhood, movies)

[downtownnola]

I just moved from Denver to Chicago last month.

I lived in Denver for 9 years and completely understand where the OP is coming from. After living in Denver for years, I made many great friendships and leaving them behind when I moved was very hard. I loved Denver, but I never found the people there to be very friendly. There was plenty of surface politeness, but it was hard to get to know people on a personal level.

So far, I've found Chicagoans to be much more abrupt and straighforward, but also more down to earth and outgoing. Good luck, OP and welcome back to the windy city!

[Minervah]

Originally Posted by downtownnola

I just moved from Denver to Chicago last month.

I lived in Denver for 9 years and completely understand where the OP is coming from. After living in Denver for years, I made many great friendships and leaving them behind when I moved was very hard. I loved Denver, but I never found the people there to be very friendly. There was plenty of surface politeness, but it was hard to get to know people on a personal level.

So far, I've found Chicagoans to be much more abrupt and straightforward, but also more down to earth and outgoing. Good luck, OP and welcome back to the windy city.

In the thirty something years I have lived away from Chicago, this is exactly what I miss about that city.

[scrapper105]

A move is what you make of it. It's very, very hard moving from an area where we had great family and friends support - we definitely have to make an effort to make friends and find people to be friends with, but isn't that to be expected ?

We've been here three months and I've been working hard to make friends for the kiddos and me. We invite people over for playdates/coffee, chat people up at church and school functions, head outside to talk with the neighbors when we see them outside.

We volunteer to help at class parties and school functions, sign up to be girl scout leaders, and take time to learn about the history of our city and state.

All of these things make us feel connected and aren't unique to Colorado - those are the things I would have done no matter where we moved.

All that being said, I have found it easier to make friends with people who moved here in the last two years, rather than those who have lived here for 15 years or went to high school here. The latter already have family here or relationships established whereas the former seem to be open to making space in their life for new friends.

[davidv]

Originally Posted by scrapper105

All that being said, I have found it easier to make friends with people who moved here in the last two years, rather than those who have lived here for 15 years or went to high school here. The latter already have family here or relationships established whereas the former seem to be open to making space in their life for new friends.

I think that this is the case anywhere you go. In my case, I grew up in Denver have lived here pretty much my entire life. It is not that I don't want to make friends with you; I am more than willing to be your friend, but I already have a best friend. I also have a brother and sister-in-law, a sister and brother-in-law, nephews, nieces, my mom and dad, as well as my wife's family. I also teach which means I disappear between mid-August and mid-June.

In short, I am busy. And booked. We could get together and do something, but it won't turn into the type of relationship that many people who are new to the area are looking for. I just had a week's vacation. During that time I helped my best friend move, did some work around my house, did some work around my parents' house (I "borrowed" --read: took away-- their ladder, so they have to ask me to bring the ladder back, at which time I do the work for them), spent 2 days at the school, you get the idea.

People who are new to the area are looking to make connections to replace the ones the lost when they moved away. That is why they are so receptive to making new friends. That is, until their dance card gets filled. Then they turn into someone like me.

[Osito]

It's very hard to make friends here. If you don't fit into a certain box, you'll have a harder time fitting in. The people I tend to connect with are from other places. People from the north like the weather here as do people from the south for different reasons. People are very cliquey and standoffish here in general, but it's also been my experience that many of the mountain states are like that. Why? I'm guessing because traditionally people tend to move to these areas to get away from people, not get around them. I wish you luck back in Chicago. I'd love to visit that city someday lol.

And to whoever it was that said Denver gets too much sun, grow up! The upper Midwest gets sun too, it's just unreasonably frigid for much of the year.

[downtownnola]

I moved from Denver to Chicago six months ago. Time to chime in.

I lived in Denver for 9 years and had the opportunity to move to Chicago last fall. I jumped on the opportunity. I was excited for the change. One arrived in Chicago, I landed an excellent job opportunity. I was offered a great pay increase, and great benefits.

With that said, I really miss Denver. I used to think that the people in Denver were somewhat unfriendly, but my perspective has changed. In short, I have found Chicagoans to be some of the most inconsiderate, rude and downright unhappy people I have encountered. No one smiles. People are very self-absorbed, have no sense of humor, and often seem angry. Here, you are expected to put in 50 or 60 hour work weeks to get ahead in your career. Back in Denver, I was accustomed to walking into the office on a Monday morning and conversing with people, "How was your weekend?" When I do that here, people seem put off by the polite gestures. I had many great friends back in Denver, but I haven't even made any "acquaintances" here. I know it's a big city and I don't expect to be best friends with everyone I pass by, but the coldness and downright hostility toward other people here is just crazy.

I am definitely missing Colorado, and would love to get back there in the next year or so. To me, Denver is such a great balance. It's a fast-paced city with great energy, but it's still laid back enough to offer a work/life balance, and the people still (for the most part), treat other people like human beings.

[synapse]

I've lived in both also. I thought it was a touch easier to meet people in Chicago simply because there were more of them; the city is more dense, conversations are struck up more easily. That said, I think the standoffish attitude is for two different reasons. In Chicago, it's because it's dense, and more recently, cold - how do you strike up a conversation on the L when it's miserable outside and everyone's huddled? In Denver, it's because everyone has their own lives and is doing their own thing - a potential friend may be up in the mountains for weeks (and you're right, the Denver attitude is more laid back.)

That said, I think *both* cities are easier to meet people in than the east coast, where there's a much more standoffish attitude. It's just some perception on my part, but I think the further west you get, the more approachable people seem to be on a day to day basis.

[Teckeeee]

Having just moved from Denver..............it's pretty white yes..........now living in Irvine I am almost a minority, which is fine just took a bit of getting acclimated. Almost no Asians in Denver Metro, White, Hispanic, and Black.

Some people are cliquey, but what I saw more of was religious folks on south side of metro that are very family oriented and have no time unless their kids are friends with your kids. I almost got a dog just to have more of a social circle, but it's all good I get plenty of socialization at my sales job.

[Katarina Witt]

Originally Posted by Teckeeee

Having just moved from Denver..............it's pretty white yes..........now living in Irvine I am almost a minority, which is fine just took a bit of getting acclimated. Almost no Asians in Denver Metro, White, Hispanic, and Black.

Some people are cliquey, but what I saw more of was religious folks on south side of metro that are very family oriented and have no time unless their kids are friends with your kids. I almost got a dog just to have more of a social circle, but it's all good I get plenty of socialization at my sales job.

That seems to happen when you have kids, hyper religious or not.

[lynne66]

I have lived in Denver for 11 years and have met tons of flakes, but a few nice people who are still my friends after years and years. But tons of people who just flake a lot and turn out to be very into themselves and self-serving. I think the best thing to do is get involved in special groups with similar interests. I remember when I first moved to Denver, my cousin told me people flake on each other all the time in Denver. He's from Denver originally.