Another ethnicity question... (Denver, Arvada, Littleton: relocating, travel, job)

[Family of five]

I was just looking through Mike from Back East's index - truly an amazing job! and the thread on Italian restaurants got me thinking.

My DH is of Italian descent, so our last name is Italian. Growing up in Pittsburgh, this was of course common, but we have lived in Mpls and St. Paul, MN for the past 14 years. We were stunned at the negative feedback we got beginning on the first day we arrived here. At least 90% of people here mispronounce our last name (repeatedly - some people I have corrected countless times), and I cannot tell you how many Mafia "cracks" we have both received. This is a constant thing for us - the last Mafia comment was from the plumber who came a couple of days ago.

It made us feel incredibly unwelcome and has made living here unpleasant for us. We are planning on moving to Denver this year and I am wondering/fearing a repeat of this behavior. We are planning on relocating to Littleton.

Any thoughts? Thank you so much.

[Katiana]

I'm not going to say it won't happen here. But. . . Denver has a large Italian community. From stories I have heard, there was discrimination in the past. It's uncommon now. What people "are" is pretty much a non-issue here.

[Huckleberry3911948]

be yourself they will love you.
dont take a victim label, the stage is already overflowing
with auditions, and they are singing off key & way too loud.

[esya]

The mispronunciation is that there are not now large numbers of people with Italian surnames in many neighborhoods, the other possibility is the age of the person you are speaking to. Recollection of names is more difficult for humans as they age, including pronunciation. Since more people are older, this can be expected to occur more, and it is a biological thing not a cultural bias. If you have eliminated these two factors then I would chaulk it up to insensitive ignorance, which does occur here although I can't say at what rate.

[tfox]

I just can't fathom that anyone would care about you being Italian (To be honest I'm very surprised you had any trouble in Minnesota, though). On the other hand there's not a huge Italian community around here either, so you might get some of the same mispronunciation.

The traditional "Little Italy" is in North Denver (specifically, the Highland neighborhood in Denver), but all that's left of that is a handful of old-school Italian restaurants and markets.

[Katiana]

Originally Posted by tfox

I just can't fathom that anyone would care about you being Italian (To be honest I'm very surprised you had any trouble in Minnesota, though). On the other hand there's not a huge Italian community around here either, so you might get some of the same mispronunciation.

The traditional "Little Italy" is in North Denver (specifically, the Highland neighborhood in Denver), but all that's left of that is a handful of old-school Italian restaurants and markets.

True, but there are a fair number of Italian-Americans in Wheat Ridge and Arvada, where many moved from NW Denver, where the old "Little Italy" was. Also, an Italian community in Louisville, which while maybe not big, is very prominent in the town.

[Family of five]

Originally Posted by tfox

I just can't fathom that anyone would care about you being Italian (To be honest I'm very surprised you had any trouble in Minnesota, though). On the other hand there's not a huge Italian community around here either, so you might get some of the same mispronunciation.

The traditional "Little Italy" is in North Denver (specifically, the Highland neighborhood in Denver), but all that's left of that is a handful of old-school Italian restaurants and markets.

We can't fathom why anyone cares, either. Coming from a place where it was a "non-issue" to a place where we are constantly receiving rude/jokey comments was a complete, and unwelcome, shock. We were just stunned at first, and now expect (and receive) comments almost every time we meet someone new who is not a transplant.

Thank you all for the comments, although I have to say that in no way do we consider ourselves "victims," just tired of ignorant people feeling like it's OK for them to comment on our name. I don't ask African Americans (or any other "stereotypical" person - don't jump on me for this, I am just trying to make a parallel here) if they are gang members - why is OK for people to ask us if we are part of a Mafia family? Rude, ignorant, and hurtful, in my opinion.

[Katiana]

^^^ I certainly agree with the above. I'm a little surprised at Minnesota, but then again, not really. As you well know, there is a large Scandinavian/German culture group there, plus some other races, but not a lot else of Causcasian ethnic groups. At least that is my take on it. My DD went to college in Minn. near Minneapolis.

[Sters]

Originally Posted by tfox

I just can't fathom that anyone would care about you being Italian (To be honest I'm very surprised you had any trouble in Minnesota, though). On the other hand there's not a huge Italian community around here either, so you might get some of the same mispronunciation.

The traditional "Little Italy" is in North Denver (specifically, the Highland neighborhood in Denver), but all that's left of that is a handful of old-school Italian restaurants and markets.

Try being from New Jersey and travelling out West! Even without an Italian surname (Irish...even though my husband is of Italian decent) brings out the Mafia jokes and innuendos. Manyactually believe that New Jersey is overrun with mafia and like The Soproanos.

[Sleddog905]

I have never had any problems with my last name, or my East Coast accent. People can't pronounce my last name most of the time, but no one has made any jokes or said anything negative about being Italian. They typically ask what nationality it is, but that's as far as that conversation goes. I live in the foothills though, not Denver, but I doubt things would be any different in the city.