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Old 01-17-2017, 07:27 PM
 
Location: Mars City
5,091 posts, read 2,152,379 times
Reputation: 7505

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Quote:
Originally Posted by N610DL View Post
I'm from NJ originally and moved here from Southern California. ... the dating scene is grueling even compared to L.A. Not because it's the lack of women here but because I don't think they "jive" with my overly sarcastic dark personality type. Without going too much into specifics, it's wearing me down gradually.

I don't know if 10 months is enough, but has any transplants moved here and feel like it's a bit overrated? Are there people who have moved here and went somewhere else because they didn't like it? The only 2 places I would consider moving to are Florida or back to SoCal.

PS: I know 10 months isn't enough time to judge, but it could be a good barometer. So I'll hang in there until the 1.5 year mark when lease is up and make the ultimate call - just looking for perspective.
You've hit on what many other from other areas of the country have also encountered. The culture here is very different from the areas you mentioned. I'm from a completely different area of the US as well, and see this area as a mismatch for me. It's just the way it is; something to learn from and accept, and move on with.

These kinds of things happen. People here could do the reverse and go to NJ and CA and likely be unhappy as well. Face it, we've got lots of variations in culture and people across this country. It's actually a very good thing. You're now aware of it and can plan to get back to more familiar territory. I don't think things will change staying here though. You're not going to change who you are, and people around here aren't going to change either.

 
Old 01-17-2017, 09:09 PM
 
Location: Midwest
104 posts, read 302,851 times
Reputation: 94
To OP-I feel your pain and can relate. I moved here in 1997 and two months later lost my job as the roof collapsed at the restaurant I was working at due to the epic October 1997 blizzard and that same week one of my tires popped and my student loan repayments started. Needless to say I was ready to move back home but I vented and went out and got another job and life carried on. Almost 20 years later (WTF!) I'm really glad I moved here and got some experience being on my own, meeting new people and exploring new places. I will say that while I've lived here a long time it's never felt like home. I connect with people but I don't have a ton of friends who are reliable. Very few will be there in a pinch and I've always felt that most are waiting for that next "cool thing" to pop up and experience. I'm also not a fan of the overall vibe of Denver in the past five years so we'll be moving within the year I imagine. Denver's been good to me but it's time to make room for another transplant and be closer to our families. No time is wasted and Denver ain't too shabby of a place to hang your hat for a year or two. Good luck with your decision!
 
Old 01-17-2017, 09:31 PM
 
986 posts, read 527,127 times
Reputation: 2151
Quote:
Originally Posted by pikabike View Post
Nobody asked you to butt out. I was just answering your comment stating that most of the posters were transplants. The reason for that is that is what the OP asked for.
Sorry for the misunderstanding.

I simply feel that most transplants, especially the younger ones in their 20s to mid 30s are moving to Colorado for a certain imagined lifestyle. It's about the skiing and hiking and mountains and beer and weed... They tend to move to trendy areas where they can get those things most easily and who can blame them.

When they do, however, I don't think they should be surprised when they are surrounded by a transient population that are just passing through or are obsessed with the particular interest that brought them to Denver in the first place.

Now, of course, there are some "natives" who also buy into the Colorado fantasy but many of us aren't here for an imagined lifestyle. We don't smoke pot, or work out every day, or spend much time in the city center. We are here because this is where our family and friends are. I would say that we have much more in common with people in all cities across the country than with transplants because our location and behavior are not so deeply linked.

So when people complain that it's hard to connect here compared to LA or whatever I think it's important to keep in mind that they are surrounding themselves with the same type of people who flock to LA from the midwest because they have dreams of acting or spending every day at the beach or living the "California lifestyle." By and large dream chasers aren't "normal" and no one should expect them to behave normally.

My recommendation? Move away from those circles a bit. Get to know some people who have been here a while, or perhaps are a bit more working class and can't afford fantasies or moved for career as opposed to dreams. Get outside the trendy areas and experience some other parts of the metro where people are less consumed by the trends.
 
Old 01-17-2017, 11:14 PM
 
5,458 posts, read 2,846,641 times
Reputation: 10250
Quote:
Originally Posted by history nerd View Post
Sorry for the misunderstanding.

I simply feel that most transplants, especially the younger ones in their 20s to mid 30s are moving to Colorado for a certain imagined lifestyle. It's about the skiing and hiking and mountains and beer and weed... They tend to move to trendy areas where they can get those things most easily and who can blame them.

When they do, however, I don't think they should be surprised when they are surrounded by a transient population that are just passing through or are obsessed with the particular interest that brought them to Denver in the first place.


Now, of course, there are some "natives" who also buy into the Colorado fantasy but many of us aren't here for an imagined lifestyle. We don't smoke pot, or work out every day, or spend much time in the city center. We are here because this is where our family and friends are. I would say that we have much more in common with people in all cities across the country than with transplants because our location and behavior are not so deeply linked.

So when people complain that it's hard to connect here compared to LA or whatever I think it's important to keep in mind that they are surrounding themselves with the same type of people who flock to LA from the midwest because they have dreams of acting or spending every day at the beach or living the "California lifestyle." By and large dream chasers aren't "normal" and no one should expect them to behave normally.

My recommendation? Move away from those circles a bit. Get to know some people who have been here a while, or perhaps are a bit more working class and can't afford fantasies or moved for career as opposed to dreams. Get outside the trendy areas and experience some other parts of the metro where people are less consumed by the trends.
I totally agree with the bolded statements. The fallout can be seen here every day on this forum! Unrealistic expectations.
 
Old 01-18-2017, 01:26 AM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,649 posts, read 40,020,325 times
Reputation: 23806
Quote:
Originally Posted by pikabike View Post
...The fallout can be seen here every day on this forum! Unrealistic expectations.
my overly sarcastic dark personality type. Without going too much into specifics, it's wearing me down gradually.

Job and location changes are very challenging and not always work out (or might take yrs / another job change)

If you want a DARK (Goth) transplant location, try Portland, OR (Overrated too!) very expensive, very tough to find a good job that will support the costs. Denver is pretty light weight / many options, but would never be my choice (my first 28 yrs were in CO).

Have a plan, Execute the plan for your betterment.
 
Old 01-18-2017, 06:14 AM
 
Location: Arvada, CO
13,238 posts, read 24,450,303 times
Reputation: 13010
Quote:
Originally Posted by CTC View Post
I love all of these "I feel this way" posts therefore this is what must be true-

Visited my cousin in Denver last Summer over Memorial weekend

He is a 30 something electrical engineer and is totally vested in Denver

Great people great town

We bbqued, we drank great beer, we met tons of people, we played music (both are guitar players) , we went to the park, we met neighbors, the whole nine. We interacted with people a good 10-20 years younger than us and never felt strange about it-nor did they

And the Broncos did not even come up. Imagine that.
That's great. I am going to speculate you were in one of the hot or transplant heavy neighborhoods.

Quote:
Originally Posted by N610DL View Post
Another notable experience was being a fly on the wall at a Laundromat where the owner who was Korean cursed out 2 Black chicks for "screwing up" one of his machines on purpose. He kicked them out immediately and threw a cursing fit. Never saw anything like it (or if they were really trying to screw up his machine) but they seemed innocent.
I'm going to honestly speculate that the laundromat owner was from LA. If you know LA history, you will know why.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Markey View Post
I will say that while I've lived here a long time it's never felt like home. I connect with people but I don't have a ton of friends who are reliable. Very few will be there in a pinch and I've always felt that most are waiting for that next "cool thing" to pop up and experience. I'm also not a fan of the overall vibe of Denver in the past five years
Couldn't have said it better myself.
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Old 01-18-2017, 08:26 AM
Status: "Summer!" (set 25 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
87,016 posts, read 102,674,652 times
Reputation: 33083
OK, I've multi-quoted a number of posts here. I'll break them up so I don't post a whole wall of text and so that they fit together.

First things first:
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkyDog77 View Post
People in Denver don't appreciate dark sarcastic humor?

One glance at the regular posters on this forum should have been enough to tell you that nobody here likes sarcasm.
Is this sarcasm?

Quote:
Originally Posted by rtloucks View Post
I think the mentality of Denver is so much more like that of California than that of anywhere else I have lived. What bothered me the most is the "hey, its ok... everything will be alright and everything will take care of itself" attitude that seems to be common out there. I grew up in Minnesota, son of generations of farmers and I believe my work ethic is top notch. I go in early, I stay until thee job is done and don't take unnecessary breaks in between. This is also how i choose to live around my own home and out and about. So living in Denver drove me batty. I don't know if I would really call it a lazy atmosphere because that will surely offend most, but it is just ultra relaxed and no high sense of urgency for anything there. Everything from going to the bank, shopping at stores, dining out, my mail man, whatever it was it seemed like it moved in slow motion without concern for safety to security. Or it was what seemed like backward thinking. i want to share a long story, but ill sum it up.

Before I left town I sold a truck to a guy, a business owner of a very large company in the area. We went to his bank to cash the Business check he wrote me. with him standing there, the teller literally got the manager and called the company to verify that the check was valid. Although I appreciate the security measure, He was standing next to me. So when he answered his phone to verify it (which seemed like a bad episode of Abbott and Costello) they hung up and continued to finger print me, make me fill out a tax form (why? not sure because it was a sale of a vehicle) and the made me write down my social security number on a piece of blank paper in front of everyone. Which after i threw a fit about and finally agreed to as long ass everyone would step aside, the teller called some phone number to run my social but didnt type it in... no she said my whole social out loud in front of the whole bank and everyone in it. WOW, I was not pleased. She then tossed the blank paper with my social in the garbage can behind her..... not cool. I made her give me the paper back so i could dispose of it. So after almost 1 hour and 45 minutes.... i finally got my money. the business owner apologized up and down etc. It was not his fault though. What was even better was when after the transaction she had the nerve to look me in the eyes and ask me if i was interested in opening an account..... HUH, Seriously I asked and then proceeded to explain to her everything she did wrong in that whole transaction in detail and even a few privacy laws she broke.

Anyway, this was just one example of the many bad business transaction that took place in Colorado.
I think people that love it there are extremely proud and that is great, but they should really just keep it to themselves and not embellish the facts to others looking for honest advice. Even about the weather....
Quote:
Originally Posted by N610DL View Post
Man I have more in common with Minnesota folks than I thought! Cut from the same cloth as far as these frustrations go. People do appear as they aren't in any sort of a hurry and that gets annoying as well. Sorry but I don't always have time for the "stop and chat" when I'm at a Starbucks.

This is another point I wanted to bring up regarding business transactions. I had a bad car breakdown where my alternator went out and AAA towed to a garage that was certified with AAA. It's a European car so it needs a little TLC and had an awesome mechanic out in L.A. They dropped it off and the shop overcharged me and didn't bother to replace the battery so it kept draining. I literally flipped out at them when it kept breaking down quoting they told me it would be "road worthy again" and it's wasn't. When I dished it out and threatened to report AAA and them to the BBB they toned down. Of course AAA Colorado is ignoring my calls but that's a whole other issue. They flat out lied and I get zero compensation.

I do think there is this friendly, overly chill vibe when dealing with vendors out here. When you criticize them for being wrong they don't take it well. As for work ethic, that's something backwards out here that I flat out don't understand. I might strike people as socially awkward at the office but that's because I'm there to do work and not play ping pong and drink beer and appear as aloof (literally my last job was just this). My work ethic is strong and direct so that might be the opposite that Colorado people appeal to. Don't be fooled - in L.A. people work their asses off and I straight up don't see here at all.

As far as being angry is concerned, I think for me it's more of a deep down stressful one - not a visual or tone based one. Like I said, I get along with lot's of people out here just fine. It's the occasional few that I rub the wrong way more than I did in California. And it's probably because being loud and opinionated is considered "intense" out here and goes against the "Colorado Chill" code too much. I've seen transplants from MN behave the same way actually.

As far as sarcasm, please people get real. Native CO people are very sarcastic. Have we forgotten the most offensive cartoon on for nearly 20 years made by people from Colorado?! (South Park!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by rtloucks View Post
Not to disagree, but I completely disagree. I actually am very patient with things and people. I just don't have a problem expressing my displeasure if it is warranted. Im not from nor have i lived in the upper-east coast so id prefer not to be categorized as an "east coaster" Charlotte NC is not really in that category, but ill let that go.

As far as Minneapolis being laid back, maybe I can see that to a point. It certainly isn't as work efficient today as it seems like it was 10 years ago, but i think it is night and day with Denver. The only thing that is similar is that ugly kind of industrial-trying to be trendy look and feel of the city. but as far as the people, they still mean business. Polite, blunt, to the point, and expecting hard work of others. That is why it is harder to get a job in Minneapolis than Denver. Not because there isn't a load of jobs, but they are much more selective of who the hire. I work with hiring managers all day and hear the same thing from all of them. They would rather go short than hire the wrong people. In Denver they seemed to take anyone who would sign their name to a piece of paper. I won't disclose employers, but it was a common theme. This doesn't mean SOME people in Denver aren't qualified, just that employers aren't as thorough which brings in talent that may not be qualified for the positions they are hired for. I saw this in Washington DC too. Often the problem is that applicants know that if they want, they can walk out of a job and go across the street and have another one. This creates a lax work force. I I took notice a lot and it was disappointing in Denver because we had an opinion formed that it may be a lot like Minneapolis (where we grew up) as far as people, work, work/life balance, atmosphere, etc
Quote:
Originally Posted by N610DL View Post
Well yeah the Southern comparison is true. I've definitely meet overly nice people from Georgia for example. And then you got a version of it out in Seattle called "Seattle Freeze." Say what you will about Denver, but Seattle doesn't seem all that welcoming to transplants. At least here it's a bit of a melting pot and local CO people seem to enjoy watching their city grow.

Met a lot of good from MN while on business trips up there. I think the issue was that the upper management literally came from the big business in MSP to the smaller company bringing their sketchy values with them. Probably why the good people either left or got forced out.

Companies seem to operate pretty lean up there too. I remember reading a story about how the old Northwest Airlines HQ was so cheap they used to inventory the lightbulbs. Companies are super bloated on the coasts. Like when I worked in NYC I've never seen a company waste so much money on useless travel and events.
First, this love-in for MN:

My daughter moved there a few years ago. After we visited her the first time, I thought, "how do these people stand themselves?" Everything there is just the best, best, BEST! They have the best schools, the best this, the best that! They're way better than Wisconsin, and they talk about that all the time! It sounds so middle-school!

In the first six months or so that my daughter lived there, she and her friend both had their cars hit anonymously (no note left). My daughter had lived in Aurora for a while and her bf in Boulder and this never happened to them there. Also in that time frame, my daughter had her phone stolen, funny how that happened in such a crime-free place. Fortunately somehow it got sold to a teen (I don't know the chain of events) whose father became suspicious, and she got it back.

My opinion hasn't changed in several trips there. Taxes are incredibly high there. We found a house for sale for $500,000; taxes were $10,000/year! I have no idea what they're getting for those taxes. Highly paid police and fire-fighters, I guess! Yet the police there still shoot people. Remember that mess last summer?

Bad business experiences and poor customer service can happen anywhere.
 
Old 01-18-2017, 08:33 AM
 
Location: Washington Park, Denver
6,964 posts, read 6,576,433 times
Reputation: 7497
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katarina Witt View Post
First things first:


Is this sarcasm?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SkyDog77 View Post
No. I'm a native and don't get sarcasm.
 
Old 01-18-2017, 08:34 AM
Status: "Summer!" (set 25 days ago)
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
87,016 posts, read 102,674,652 times
Reputation: 33083
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovecrowds View Post
I will say back in the early and mid 2000s when I was college aged, that Denver was a great city to meet new people. It seemed to be a very open-minded, friendly city with a very interesting vibe to it.

Part of it is getting older makes it more difficult to meet new people but it just doesn't seem as social and friendly as it used to be.

I have watched videos of Denver in the 1980s and 1990s and it just seemed like a much more open-minded, friendly city back then. Seems like the 1980s and 1990s Denver was grittier and friendly.

I used to absolutely love Capitol Hill and North Denver at the time. It just seemed like a more simple, laid-back and friendly city then.

I didn't spend that whole time in Denver but lived there a few short stents back then and all my relatives live in Colorado so I am there every couple of months.

I have to say though starting in the last couple of years, it's just not the friendly place it was in the past. It seems much more formal and cold as a city.

Denver has never been a superficial city and it seems like lately it has a superficial tone to it.

Colorado Springs seems to be have a lot of angry and unhappy people living there. I really would love to love Colorado Springs but it is not half the city it was in the 1990s economically, socially or friendly wise.
We came here in 1980. I thought Denver was a kind of cold place, socially. As we've lived here, raised a family, gotten involved in the neighborhood, church, etc, I've made friends.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rtloucks View Post
FOR the record.... I never meant to come off as thought he people of Colorado arent welcoming or nice. In fact, I feel that they are very nice and I felt welcomed by my great neighbors and people in the activities we joined. I just felt like the people in the job markets and service industries we lax and unpleasant, maybe even entitled. No one wanted to work hard. I remember when Sports Authority was closing down and i brought my son in to buy a football helmet during the 70% off EVERYTHING sale that was clearly displayed EVERYWHERE>
Anyway, the helmet was $99.97 and it rang up at $49.98 plus tax.... I said well that isn't 70% off. She grabbed her manager and he began arguing with me about why I thought it was 70% blah blah blah...I pointed to the many signs all over and then walked him to the sign that even specified that "All football equipment including helmets" were 70% or more off. He did more research and long story short he said that it isnt included because it ends in a .97..WTF? SO he found some way not to honor the "EVERYTHING 70% OFF, NO exclusions" banner.. then said " do you still want it?" I said absolutely not. He had the worst attitude about it and I said something that maybe I shouldn't have, I said that workers with attitudes like his may be part of the reason why Sports Authority is going out of business. OK so I know that's not WHY, but cmon. SO he literally yelled at me with my son standing next to me telling me to just leave, that he's losing his job and I was being disrespectful etc. I turned to him and reiterated, that maybe his attitude could affect his future. This was the problem though. He felt that someone owed him something for losing his job. NO there are plenty of jobs in retail out there, go get another one. Maybe he will have to start over a bit but he was missing the main point..... The Helmet was supposed to be 70% off and he refused to honor it. Why couldnt he see that? Because he was too focused on himself like a lot of people out there.
Again, you were dealing with one person, well, two I guess in this story but you were angry at the manager. While he should have kept his personal issues to himself (something that drives me crazy too when service people talk about how hard they have it), he does not represent all of Colorado. It's nothing to do with Colorado!
 
Old 01-18-2017, 12:00 PM
 
1,791 posts, read 1,143,151 times
Reputation: 1125
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katarina Witt View Post

First, this love-in for MN:

My daughter moved there a few years ago. After we visited her the first time, I thought, "how do these people stand themselves?" Everything there is just the best, best, BEST! They have the best schools, the best this, the best that! They're way better than Wisconsin, and they talk about that all the time! It sounds so middle-school!

In the first six months or so that my daughter lived there, she and her friend both had their cars hit anonymously (no note left). My daughter had lived in Aurora for a while and her bf in Boulder and this never happened to them there. Also in that time frame, my daughter had her phone stolen, funny how that happened in such a crime-free place. Fortunately somehow it got sold to a teen (I don't know the chain of events) whose father became suspicious, and she got it back.

My opinion hasn't changed in several trips there. Taxes are incredibly high there. We found a house for sale for $500,000; taxes were $10,000/year! I have no idea what they're getting for those taxes. Highly paid police and fire-fighters, I guess! Yet the police there still shoot people. Remember that mess last summer?

Bad business experiences and poor customer service can happen anywhere.
Damn, that much in property taxes up in MN? That's like Northern New Jersey right there. Where I grew up it was something like 12-15K on a 500K-700K house. Most of it was used to pay for the bloated salaries within the school district, police, fire etc. It's not uncommon in NJ to have the head of the school district make 250K salary and literally not do a damn thing.

I've noticed that's another thing similar in both NJ & MN: Excessive pride in how great public schools are in each place. I literally have seen someone out here from MN rip on Texas for not having good schools. Where do people get off on this? I'll take no income tax instead of high property taxes any day of the week. I graduated from high school and went to college in California. Couldn't wait to get out - never drank the cool aid.

With regards to MN, definitely had some weird episodes with customer service up there too. I was flying back there from a business trip and had my headphones in at the airline club and my flight time got moved up by 10 minutes and had to run from the club to the gate. I went to the desk and asked "When did you make these announcements?" and she looked at me in shock "we made it 3 times, where were you?" I said my headphones were in, why would I hear them? Again, looks at me in total shock. They don't like when you confront them with questions. Frowned upon up there I guess.
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