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Old 02-12-2017, 12:19 PM
 
Location: In The Thin Air
12,250 posts, read 8,038,289 times
Reputation: 8904

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I was the opposite when I moved here. I made friends fast and met my wife. I always wanted to go out and meet new people. Now I don't want anything to do with them and I would rather stay home. Ha! GET OFF MY LAWN!
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Old 02-12-2017, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Na'alehu Hawaii/Buena Vista Colorado
4,875 posts, read 9,619,939 times
Reputation: 4942
Quote:
Originally Posted by Timmyy View Post
I was the opposite when I moved here. I made friends fast and met my wife. I always wanted to go out and meet new people. Now I don't want anything to do with them and I would rather stay home. Ha! GET OFF MY LAWN!
Hopefully the "them" that you don't want to have anything to do with does not include your wife.
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Old 02-12-2017, 01:24 PM
 
Location: In The Thin Air
12,250 posts, read 8,038,289 times
Reputation: 8904
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dreaming of Hawaii View Post
Hopefully the "them" that you don't want to have anything to do with does not include your wife.
Ha! I couldn't live without her. We kind of went into seclusion together.
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Old 02-12-2017, 01:39 PM
 
Location: Denver, CO
943 posts, read 1,254,120 times
Reputation: 1036
What do you do for fun? Are they're any members of the opposite sex that enjoys the same activities? What about work?
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Old 02-12-2017, 01:47 PM
 
Location: In the house we finally own!
516 posts, read 256,825 times
Reputation: 2444
Take some classes on something that interests you like hobbies, computers, history, writing, etc. Join a church and get involved. Volunteer somewhere. The more you get out there, the more folks you will meet. It's hard, I know. I lived in Denver for more than 40 years.
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Old 02-12-2017, 08:07 PM
 
Location: Denver, CO
5,608 posts, read 20,672,246 times
Reputation: 5338
Quote:
Originally Posted by km_5280 View Post
Do you find it difficult to form social connections or find social outlets in Denver, or Colorado in general?

I realized I have lived in the Denver metro area for almost 20 years and have virtually no social circle. Some of that is probably my own fault - I tend to be more introverted and a homebody. So I decided to look through some meetup groups to see what is out there. I didn't find very many that interested me that much. Or they are far away, or meet infrequently, or meet at times that conflict with my work schedule.

I found and attended *some* that were okay, but just didn't find that *many* of them.

I'm not into happy hour and am not a big outdoors enthusiast (although I do cycle), so that could be limiting some of my options.

In general, is it difficult to find social outlets in Denver, or is it just me? Is it highly contingent on the kinds of things you are interested in?
I do have a "social circle" which mainly revolves around my religion and some "friends" (friendly acquaintances is probably more accurate) therein and also some ex-coworkers I used to work with but I don't have many (any really) "good friends" except for a few from college who live out of state (I'm a Denver native, left for college and a few years after and then came back). So I totally understand where you are coming from. It's a large part your fault, and mine (I'm in the same boat), but not it's not 100%. It's not really Denver's fault either; people today, everywhere, are less social than ever before-- ironically, despite (or perhaps owing to) smart phones, Facebook, and 24/7 connectivity. That being said, I do think that Denver is a very cold place, socially. It's a place where people are polite and eager to say hello and make superficial small chat with total strangers but are very, very hard to actually break into their lives. In contrast, I find that, for example, New Yorkers, while being rude and in your face, are actually pretty open socially and can be pretty warm when you get to know them. Same thing can be said with people from other countries (certain ones, at least). My observation is that people who have moved here recently from other places tend to be more friendly and outgoing than the natives and long term residents, so I do suggest reaching out to those and forming new friends.
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Old 02-13-2017, 12:01 PM
 
1,788 posts, read 1,126,237 times
Reputation: 1110
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike from back east View Post
It's been almost 50 years now .... I was a shy jerk of a young man .... a friend recommended a book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. A good starting place just to be sure you're grounded in the how and why of successful socializing and then take it from there.
I don't think reading a book is going to help anybody out in terms of being social in Denver. There certainly are some strange birds out here - but being out here less than a year I have quite a few guy friends that I can hang out with on the weekends.

To the OP, I agree but if you hang in there people will take note and want to hang out with you. My 2 cents. It really takes time.
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Old 02-13-2017, 01:54 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
3,051 posts, read 2,079,489 times
Reputation: 3536
Quote:
Originally Posted by N610DL View Post
To the OP, I agree but if you hang in there people will take note and want to hang out with you. My 2 cents. It really takes time.
Hahaha, you mean it takes more than the 20 years the OP is into it so far?? Wow, glad I never left me home town.
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Old 02-14-2017, 05:12 PM
 
Location: Arvada, CO
13,227 posts, read 24,320,982 times
Reputation: 12943
Quote:
Originally Posted by km_5280 View Post
Do you find it difficult to form social connections or find social outlets in Denver, or Colorado in general?
Yes.

I've lived here almost 10 years, my social circle constantly waxes and wanes. Right now, it is in a wane cycle.

I played men's baseball for the previous three years, with many of the same similarly aged guys all three years. I've made few "real" friends from it, but tons of acquiantances. Close to a dozen of them have stabbed me in the back, bullied me, belittled me, cost me money, etc. One even lived with me for awhile, and then he made a move on my wife....(great ballplayer though ); sadly, while me and this particular guy were friends, we were pretty darn tight. Anyhow, this whole experience with egos and drama B.S. has lead me to give up baseball, at least for this year. It left me friendless, and with nothing to do on Sundays.

We played poker at bars several years ago, and we are still friends with some of those folks TO THIS DAY. Mostly barflies who enjoy simple amusements. Tons of great people in that crowd.

I've also made friends and enemies through work. Work took me all over the metro area for years, and many friends have come from it (including co-workers/etc). But we hardly ever do anything together. It's probably my fault.

However, I am incredibly frustrated (as I've mentioned before) with everything relating to the social experience here. People are rude. People are entitled. People are ignorant. You think you break the ice, but it turns out you didn't. You think you want to break the ice, and then they do something incredibly stupid, offensive, or flat out mean. You think you're friends, but in reality they want nothing to do with you if they can't use you. I couldn't tell you the last time I was invited to do something with somebody. People just flat out aren't interested in small talk. But it is just me.

I was in Chicago at the end of December, while there, I met with a client, and met a couple of dozen of their folks in their office. Half the damn office didn't want me to leave, I had a few of the women blatantly flirt with me, I had a few others offer to take me to dinner, or home to meet their families/etc. It was a completely foreign experience. I felt like a human, how they treated me and each other almost brought me to tears.

I was in Spokane last week. I was in line to buy a beer at a hockey game, and a 2 year old in line with her parents kept looking at me and saying my name. I responded back to her, well, that IS my name! I chit-chatted with her parents for a sec, and upon getting to the front of the line, her parents bought me my beer. I have probably been to 150 sporting events in Denver in the past 10 years, and that hasn't happened ONCE. Again, I felt like a human. I played poker in Spokane as well, and had nothing less than a gay old time.

Even in my cold/stuck up native Southern California, people acknowledge each other's existence. Small talk is actually a thing!

But it's me. It's my biased perspective. It's because I hate Denver.

Or something.
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Old 02-14-2017, 05:35 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale az
605 posts, read 508,355 times
Reputation: 562
Quote:
Originally Posted by David Aguilar View Post
Yes.

I've lived here almost 10 years, my social circle constantly waxes and wanes. Right now, it is in a wane cycle.

I played men's baseball for the previous three years, with many of the same similarly aged guys all three years. I've made few "real" friends from it, but tons of acquiantances. Close to a dozen of them have stabbed me in the back, bullied me, belittled me, cost me money, etc. One even lived with me for awhile, and then he made a move on my wife....(great ballplayer though ); sadly, while me and this particular guy were friends, we were pretty darn tight. Anyhow, this whole experience with egos and drama B.S. has lead me to give up baseball, at least for this year. It left me friendless, and with nothing to do on Sundays.

We played poker at bars several years ago, and we are still friends with some of those folks TO THIS DAY. Mostly barflies who enjoy simple amusements. Tons of great people in that crowd.

I've also made friends and enemies through work. Work took me all over the metro area for years, and many friends have come from it (including co-workers/etc). But we hardly ever do anything together. It's probably my fault.

However, I am incredibly frustrated (as I've mentioned before) with everything relating to the social experience here. People are rude. People are entitled. People are ignorant. You think you break the ice, but it turns out you didn't. You think you want to break the ice, and then they do something incredibly stupid, offensive, or flat out mean. You think you're friends, but in reality they want nothing to do with you if they can't use you. I couldn't tell you the last time I was invited to do something with somebody. People just flat out aren't interested in small talk. But it is just me.

I was in Chicago at the end of December, while there, I met with a client, and met a couple of dozen of their folks in their office. Half the damn office didn't want me to leave, I had a few of the women blatantly flirt with me, I had a few others offer to take me to dinner, or home to meet their families/etc. It was a completely foreign experience. I felt like a human, how they treated me and each other almost brought me to tears.

I was in Spokane last week. I was in line to buy a beer at a hockey game, and a 2 year old in line with her parents kept looking at me and saying my name. I responded back to her, well, that IS my name! I chit-chatted with her parents for a sec, and upon getting to the front of the line, her parents bought me my beer. I have probably been to 150 sporting events in Denver in the past 10 years, and that hasn't happened ONCE. Again, I felt like a human. I played poker in Spokane as well, and had nothing less than a gay old time.

Even in my cold/stuck up native Southern California, people acknowledge each other's existence. Small talk is actually a thing!

But it's me. It's my biased perspective. It's because I hate Denver.

Or something.
Is Denver really that socially awkward? I thought people were pretty nice. I used to live in Chicago and thought it was cold and clicky. I really like Colorado and am considering moving there. I guess everybody's experience is different.
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