How easy/hard is it to make friends? (Denver, Colorado Springs: vacation, new house)

[Quicie]

Originally Posted by Charles

Problem solved:

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CHARLES! Oh my goodness! LOL

[Katiana]

I would add to Tropicana Rose's post: if you have kids, volunteer at their schools, their sporting events, and the like. You will not be turned down. Join some service clubs.

[kristenfromdenver]

I've met several life long friends here in the past few years. It's true, I'm a transplant from IL and they're from Chicago and NY. So that probably makes it easier. But I personally find people very friendly. I've said it before, but go to Commons Park near REI and the Platte River. I swear, I meet nice people there everytime!!

I'd be up for happy hour, by the way, but I'll post that on the appropriate thread like a good girl!

[One Thousand]

Flaky is the best word to describe it. "Prizing political expedience" might be a little closer to the cause.

Someone stated it was this way all over the West and called it a sense of independance. I'd say that's exceptionally generous.

When you come from an environment where people say what they mean and mean what they say, it takes time getting used to this. You can't make plans like you've done all your life. You need to adapt if you come out this way.

One of the things I found is that rather than putting together plans that are committed to, you put together pretty casual things. If you're going to the bar, you say "we're going to the bar Friday. Swing by if you like." I think it's adolescent, but it works.

Don't go buying tickets to a concert for a group. (I haven't-- thank God!) I know a guy who was stuck with three and the people he bought them for never spoke to him again because they didn't want to pay for them after they committed.

Suffice to say, just don't expect people to be too respectful of your time or investment. Because that's the way people seem to be (it gets worse as you get closer to the coast), it's real hard to find people you'd call a friend. They seem very self-absorbed.

Obviously, that doesn't apply to everyone and my Denver dealings have been positive on a couple occassions. If you just talk to people, you'll eventually sift through to a few decent ones... but I still wouldn't buy tickets on their word

[Quicie]

Originally Posted by One Thousand

Flaky is the best word to describe it. "Prizing political expedience" might be a little closer to the cause.

Someone stated it was this way all over the West and called it a sense of independance. I'd say that's exceptionally generous.

When you come from an environment where people say what they mean and mean what they say, it takes time getting used to this. You can't make plans like you've done all your life. You need to adapt if you come out this way.

One of the things I found is that rather than putting together plans that are committed to, you put together pretty casual things. If you're going to the bar, you say "we're going to the bar Friday. Swing by if you like." I think it's adolescent, but it works.

Don't go buying tickets to a concert for a group. (I haven't-- thank God!) I know a guy who was stuck with three and the people he bought them for never spoke to him again because they didn't want to pay for them after they committed.

Suffice to say, just don't expect people to be too respectful of your time or investment. Because that's the way people seem to be (it gets worse as you get closer to the coast), it's real hard to find people you'd call a friend. They seem very self-absorbed.

Obviously, that doesn't apply to everyone and my Denver dealings have been positive on a couple occassions. If you just talk to people, you'll eventually sift through to a few decent ones... but I still wouldn't buy tickets on their word

Thanks, I grew up in Cali and I understand that you have to really click with someone in order to find a friend out west. I don't see anything wrong with that. I just hate that it takes sooooo long to find that connection.

[the_koolkat]

Great advise!

[jcm1986]

Originally Posted by Quicie

I didn't realize it was THAT hard to make friend there. Geez, a year and only one friend.

Try Louisville, Kentucky. Went to college there for four years (just graduated) and only made two strong acquaintanceships, but no strong friendships...and I'm a really friendly, genuine, sometimes even funny guy!!! It reputes itself as being friendly, but what I saw was generally fake, surface friendliness but nothing beneath the surface. But, the entire state in general is like this.

I have to say, though, what few people I've met from Colorado generally have the EXACT SAME characteristic I just described above. Not really mean, but not particularly friendly, either. I've only met one person from Colorado that has impressed me with their friendliness and nice personality. Not a condemnation of the state, just an observation.

I want to move south (preferably Texas) eventually b/c it seems like it's much easier to meet genuinely hospitable folks down there.

[Luke9686]

I've heard the same thing about Denver.

I have noticed the cities where there is a high percentage of out of state transplants, people post about these same issues. Not sure if it has any connection.

When I lived in San Jose, I found it easy to make friends. Not so much in Tacoma where I live now.

[rosie]

Wow - I am so surprised to read these postings about having difficulties to make friendships.. but glad to hear that we as non-US-citizens and non-church-goers are not the only ones!!! I always thought that our problem is that we are "strangers". We are a fun and outgoing family who moved to the US approx. 12 years ago...our kids were born here in the US. We lived for many years in TX and found it very difficult..actually almost impossible to make true friendships with the locals! We finally made good friends...but none of them were Americans It is so easy to meet Americans..but then it is very difficult to become true friends....most of the time the problem was that we were not church goers. Anyway, we live now in Colorado Springs and our first impression is that people here are very open, friendly and outgoing. Nobody has asked us yet "what church did you join"! That was normally question # One in TX! We live in a great neighborhood...lots of kids and families who care about their neighbors This weekend we will have the first block party! And the other day my hubby was invited by a neighbor to a poker night.... Also, we are very involved with the kids school and met some nice families. I also joined a hiking group run by one of the school moms. So far, we really love it here and think it is so much easier to talk to the locals. I think it takes a lot of time, effort and luck to find those true friends! But they are out there! You just have to find them

[Quicie]

Originally Posted by rosie

Wow - I am so surprised to read these postings about having difficulties to make friendships.. but glad to hear that we as non-US-citizens and non-church-goers are not the only ones!!! I always thought that our problem is that we are "strangers". We are a fun and outgoing family who moved to the US approx. 12 years ago...our kids were born here in the US. We lived for many years in TX and found it very difficult..actually almost impossible to make true friendships with the locals! We finally made good friends...but none of them were Americans It is so easy to meet Americans..but then it is very difficult to become true friends....most of the time the problem was that we were not church goers. Anyway, we live now in Colorado Springs and our first impression is that people here are very open, friendly and outgoing. Nobody has asked us yet "what church did you join"! That was normally question # One in TX! We live in a great neighborhood...lots of kids and families who care about their neighbors This weekend we will have the first block party! And the other day my hubby was invited by a neighbor to a poker night.... Also, we are very involved with the kids school and met some nice families. I also joined a hiking group run by one of the school moms. So far, we really love it here and think it is so much easier to talk to the locals. I think it takes a lot of time, effort and luck to find those true friends! But they are out there! You just have to find them

Question, How far is Colorado Springs from Denver? Do you miss Texas at all? and compared to Texas would you say you like Denver better? Sorry so many questions.