Catholic wedding questions (Arvada: living, health, catholic church)

[fiestyangel6]

I recently got engaged and we both come from Catholic families. We are considering getting married in the church but we are looking for a more laid back, progressive church. I am curious to know if anyone has gone through pre-cana where it was non-judgmental? Pre-cana classes sound like they bring up some great discussions for couples but I do not want to be judged because I am living with my fiance and I believe in birth control. Does anyone have suggestions for Catholic churches I could check out? Also, are there any suggestions of other churches that might be more relaxed than the Catholic church but still be similar?

Thanks!

[mczabe]

Just sharing one experience...When my brother went through pre-cana, he and my now sil just kept quiet on those issues. They said the whole weekend was kinda "don't ask, don't tell" on that stuff. They did have to listen to a lecture on natural family planning but that was all. THey did say that the money discussions were most valuable for them personally...and that overall, the weekend was very tolerable and at times quite enjoyable.

Good luck!

[XAFLOC]

I agree, you just have to keep your opinions to yourself. My wife and I totally disagree with the church's stance on birth control, but, like many others, we wanted to be married in the church anyway. The Catholic church's official stance is that it is AGAINST birth control so you'll probably just have to suffer through the classes.

Probably the moral thing to do would be to defect from any organization that propagates ignorance and intolerance, but it's obviously more complex than that. With that said, I've found St James (near 13th and Monaco) to be a great church -- the priest is very interesting and energetic and doesn't get hung up on socially conservative issues every Sunday. Good luck in your search.

[fiestyangel6]

mczabe and XAFLOC,

Thanks for the great advice. I kind of figured as much that if it is going to be a Catholic wedding I will have to keep quiet about a few of our beliefs. Thanks for the St. James recommendation. I will have to check it out.

[jlm01]

If you haven't already found a place Spirit of Christ in Arvada is very laid back. When I got married there they just handed me the papers for the natural family planning classes and said here is this if you want to go that route. I personally was shocked because I don't believe in birth control (more for health reasons than church doctrine reasons) but if you are looking for more laid back this may be a good place for you. It was 3 years ago, but they did not even require us to take those classes like other churches in the area did.