Dating - Are there a lot of good guys? (clubs, offroading)

[zionvier]

Originally Posted by sportsfangal

I know they don't say "hi, I just want to have sex and a good time"!!!

I'd fall out of my chair laughing if I heard someone use that as a pickup line. I think I'd passout if it actually worked.

But on a serious note, some people have too much of a fear of rejection to randomly approach someone and try. I've heard woman complain about guys coming up to them while they are out with their friends. Saying that sometimes they are just out to have a good time with their friends and don't want to be bothered by guys coming up to them and interrupting. So if that's sometimes the case... how is anyone supposed to know what to do? The only option I see without putting nametags on that say "Hello, I'm Approachable Today".... it's that somehow we all have to be hypnotized and lose our subconscious fear of rejection

[wanttomoveeast]

It's not fantasyland, trust me. I could be totally offbase here and since I can't see your body language or hear your tone I can only go off of text but...it seems like getting a man is what's on your mind. That is a huge turnoff for men. They are like dogs, haha just kidding men, but really, they enjoy a chase. So if they feel like your ulterior motive is to get a man, or you are giving off vibes that you are looking for men, well, then, that's gotta stop.

You know, when I met my guy, we were actually friends for a long time. But when we got together, I was just like you. I went to movies by myself, I went to museums, I did wayyy too many puzzles. But really, I was sick of the men I was dating and meeting. I thought it was hopeless. So I decided I'd had it with men and I really lost the desire to find one. Then, bam! I met the man.

I suppose what I've been saying all along is forget about wanting, needing, wishing for a guy. Just stop thinking along those lines. Make yourself so busy that the thought of finding a guy is completely gone. Then you'll meet someone. Trust me.

Originally Posted by sportsfangal

Hi zionvier-

In my other post, I mentioned that I love to travel, and do many things on my own. (either my friends don't have the time or $$ to do them with me) so I enjoy life and love to see new things! isn't that showing that I am fun loving? I go to football games by myself and have a blast! (my point being I can do it alone-none of my female friends could ever go to a sporting event, much less a movie, by herself) I don't walk around with a scowl or frown on my face. I don't necessarily smile 100% of the time because maybe I am thinking about how to get somewhere or an appointment I'm on the way to, etc. But mostly, I walk confidently and energetically.
Hmmm...I don't know what to do, it's not that I'm desparate, It would just be nice to have a partner to travel with, do things with, eventually leading to a meaningful relationship. Fantasyland, I know!!!

[katmoney]

Seriously, my whole "I'm not looking for anyone" attitude is what works.

[ryanek9freak]

Yeah, that works with girls too. If you're out looking for a woman, it's almost like they can sense it. Every time i've been in a bar not looking for anything, I get approached out of nowhere.

[sportsfangal]

Well, my point is that I am very busy doing things! i love to do many things on my own or with friends. that plan about "don't look for a man then he'll show up" really doesn't apply to me because I promise I am NOT looking for a man, my complaint is that when I am out minding my own business, wathcing sports, etc. guys do talk to me or notice me, however, if we do get a conversation going, it never goes past that. I just wonder why that is. No matter what our conversation is about, we are just talking. Not once do I mention boyfriend, or looking to date, or anything like that. I don't see how my body language could be saying anything different. I am simply sitting and watching sports, or a movie, or art at a museum, etc. In no way am I pouncing on all the men that pass by. So what else could it be? maybe just plain old fashioned non-interest I suppose.
For me, if I strike up a conversation with the guy, I can't really read any signals from him, most likely he;s already married anyway, but other than that, I just assume he's there to watch the game, the movie, the art, or whatever the case may be. I must need to get my radar fixed or something!

[sportsfangal]

to zionvier-I didn't mean "hi, I just want sex or a quick good time" as a pick up line, I meant that as a subliminal message my body language is NOT saying.

[sportsfangal]

oh and something else- men DON'T chase me either, so that doesn't apply to me as well!
and, if I were a b***h to men, I'm sure that would be a huge turn off as well. So it seems all the stereotypical guy-girl behaviors don't work for me. I really don't mind being single, it's just taking a little too long, that's all!! :-)

[wanttomoveeast]

Sports: May I ask how old you are, or at least age range? It might shed some light to me as to where you are coming from.

[sportsfangal]

i'm in my 30's (and no, my clock's not ticking!)

[wanttomoveeast]

hmm, well, like I said, it just sounds like you need to relax a bit. I married when I was 30 and that's when I really stopped "hunting" men. Good luck to you!