Dating - Are there a lot of good guys? (Parker: to live, assess)

[sportsfangal]

wttme-the insight of the guys here haven't really answered the question of how they pick up an "aura" off a woman that says "desparation" or whatever. that is my question.
If I was at the grocery store, and I commented the cashier about the weather, does that mean I am sending out an aura?
I go to the sportsbar every sunday to watch football, I'm kind of a regular where I go so I sit next to the same guys each week, one is married and I don't know about the one that sits next to me. I talk in the same way to the married guy as the single? guy, we talk football mostly, or random topics like work, what we did over the weekend, etc. So, in these conversations, how am I projecting an aura? no mention of relationship, no mention of marriage, no body language from me in any way that might say "desparation" or whatever. So, back to my original question-how can I project an aura of wanting to date, desparation or whatever you want to call it, if I am just sitting there having a conversation with people that's no different than anyone else in the entire room? If the girl across the bar talks to her guy neighbor, does that mean she wants to date him? (i don't mean to always use a bar example, it could be anywhere-store, museum, laundromat,etc)
wttme and I seem to be beating a dead horse here, but I just don't get the aura thing. I would think they are projected when you speak or in your actions, otherwise, how could someone(a perfect stranger) know these things about you? Maybe I am just a direct, to-the-point kind of person and appreciate the same from a potential "person of interest"?--I've posted over and over again that I don't spend time worrying about this, I'm not looking for anyone (given up), and I just continue to do the things I enjoy. The reason for the posts are just to express my personal feeling on topics that are discussed at the time, nothing more.

[wanttomoveeast]

Originally Posted by sportsfangal

...does that mean I am sending out an aura?

...So, in these conversations, how am I projecting an aura? no mention of relationship, no mention of marriage, no body language from me in any way that might say "desparation" or whatever...

To answer your question: Yes, you are sending out an aura, at all times, whether you are speaking or not. It's not about the physical. It's not about your body language. I'll try to find something on the net that reflects what I'm trying to get across.

Everyone projects an aura, not just you. It has nothing to do with what you say, or how you say it even. It's just there. My opinion of course. But I really stand by it. I'll check the net to see if I can find an article or something that might explain better what I mean.

[sportsfangal]

wttme- can't it be an aura of "I like football" or "I like this beer I'm drinking", or "wow, this hamburger is delicious!", those "auras" say nothing about my feelings about the guy I'm talking or whether or not I want a date, do they???
I understand the general sense of what you mean-that people can maybe pick up certain energies, what I am trying to convey is how that applies when you are just sitting there?
If I saw a person sitting in a laundromat, folding clothes, I have no way of reading anything off that person besides "they are doing laundry-maybe their washer is broken, maybe they don't have a washer, or whatever. Am I wrong? am I to assume there's more going on with this person? I don't even think about it.

If I saw a man at a bar, and we happen to start chatting, I don't think anything other than "this guy is having a drink at the bar", what is his aura supposed to be saying?

If I see a woman on a bus, I think "she's on a bus", I don't pick up anything other than that. "maybe she has no car, maybe her family has the car, maybe she can't drive". what else is her aura supposed to be saying that I'm not getting?

My "aura detector" must be broken or non-existent.

[wanttomoveeast]

sports: haha on your aura detector. Some of this is a little bit beyond just the basic physical world. Sort of metaphysical stuff. Mind you, I'm not some whacko who's into psychic cr*p. But some of this aura stuff rings true to me. It's philosophic in thinking --- wayyy beyond football. You really have to open your mind to things beyond just what you see, speak and hear.

Aura might not be the appropriate word because in a lot of people's minds it brings about thoughts of magic and whatnot. Really, I'm talking more about the subconscious and the underlying attitudes we all carry.

I'm still searching the web because I keep coming across mystical stuff and I'm all about science.

[wanttomoveeast]

This article is sort of is what I'm talking about, although some of it is a little hokey. But subconscious thought, energy, are what I'm calling the aura. It's with you all the time and often stems from your thoughts. Did you know your brain has 6 levels of consciousness? Just think about it. This site has tons of info on auras and positive thinking and the like.

Levels of the Aura, Body and Consciousness

[wanttomoveeast]

Originally Posted by sportsfangal

If I saw a person sitting in a laundromat, folding clothes, I have no way of reading anything off that person besides "they are doing laundry-maybe their washer is broken, maybe they don't have a washer, or whatever. Am I wrong? am I to assume there's more going on with this person? I don't even think about it.

See what I bolded and underlined. Yes, I believe (just my 2 cents!) that you are wrong. Let's say that the person doing laundry just had a major fight with their spouse, and is very depressed. You might not see this in their body language, but you will most def. feel it. That's the aura/energy I'm talking about.

Originally Posted by sportsfangal

If I saw a man at a bar, and we happen to start chatting, I don't think anything other than "this guy is having a drink at the bar", what is his aura supposed to be saying?

See what I bolded and underlined. I believe that you DO think things other than "there's this guy having a drink at a bar". I think that many things go through your mind, hundreds in fact at any given moment. You might not be conscious of this, but it's true (IMHO). His aura might be saying, I'm a happy go lucky guy, just having a drink. OR..... his aura might be, I wish someone would approach me, I'm lonely. OR... a thousand other auras.

[sportsfangal]

Hmmm...well the laundry person.. if they had a fight with a spouse, I wouldn't look at them long enough or watch them long enough to notice! I guess I really don't read people that in-depth-ly.

the guy at the bar... my FIRST (or 2nd,3rd, 4th, etc) thought is not that they are lonely. Even if they were, I wouldn't notice it. I may say something to him, or if he strikes up a conversation with me, I'll talk.

Am I supposed to pick up only negative vibes from people? Instead of someone just doing laundry, what if they just won the lottery? but if they are just standing there folding clothes, how would I know that? would there "aura" or energy say "hey I just won the lottery", or "I just had a fight with my spouse", what's the difference?

I went to the laundromat to wash clothes. say I had a fight with my boyfriend before that, but, at the laundromat I watched a funny show and laughed a little, and if someone saw me laughing just at that moment, would they assume my life is just peachy and have not a care in the world? how would they know I just had a fight 10 mins earlier? If I was smiling and laughing at the show, that's positive body language right? sending a happy message, right? but I had the fight, remember?

[TurcoLoco]

I was with you with the whole 'aura' thing until this post, not only I beg to differ but some of your comments were downright peculiar! lol

Originally Posted by wanttomoveeast

See what I bolded and underlined. Yes, I believe (just my 2 cents!) that you are wrong. Let's say that the person doing laundry just had a major fight with their spouse, and is very depressed. You might not see this in their body language, but you will most def. feel it. That's the aura/energy I'm talking about.

First of, I do not know any guy who'd be doing their laundry right after a major fight with their GF or wife, chicks might be into this but no straight guy I know of would even think about doing their freaking laundry after a serious fight with their woman! Ha!

Also, if a guy recently had a fight with their lover, their body language would not be hiding this, their facial impression would not hide the anger and the frustration. If he doesn't have anything noticeable on his face, chances are he already whacked her, then at that point he would have the 'relieved, happy' like impression on his face then a normal person would not be thinking "Oh may be he had a fight with his lover, got mad and cut her to pieces then decided to do his laundry to clean the tissue and blood off his favorite clothes/jeans".


Like I said, you guys cracked me up and I had to say something. You guys are reading way too much into this whole aura crap. Not saying it is untrue, but just don't think so much about it. I call the 'aura' the 'vibe'.
Sportsgal, just relax, be yourself, and I think you are being may be a bit too relaxed (perhaps, opposite of wannamove). May be you have been missing out of all the flirting the men have been tossing your way? May be you need to change your social habits, expose yourself to new environments because your current one is not suitable?

I don't look for any lights or glare around her, I look for her body language and listen to her spoken language, which is the normal, logical thing to do imho, anything more is a hit or miss (if you are not hittin' it, chances are you missed my point)!

[wanttomoveeast]

Turco: LOL!! Well, this thread is entirely too long, but I've been trying to explain the aura thing to Sports since page 1 or 2. Anyway, since then I've tried to give out many different scenarios to try to illustrate what I'm talking about as I don't feel I've been all that clear.

The laundry person wasn't named in gender. Vibe is another good word for it. Sports said person, which could be either woman or man. Really, it was just an example to work with.

I just feel that sports is wayyy into thought about "why can't I form a relationship" with a guy. She claims to not be giving off any type of body language or idea that she's looking for a relationship, but I think she is and doesn't know it.

As far as relax and don't think so much about it, sports says that's exactly what she's doing. So if that indeed is true, then I attribute her problems to aura, vibe or subconscious thinking. I feel that sports is mainly taking things at face value: "I'm not mentioning marriage, so why would I be giving anything off?" I've also pointed out the theory of doing something different, choosing to approach guys sports normally wouldn't go for so to avoid picking the same type over and over. But sports says that isn't the problem. She says she meets lots of nice guys and they have nice conversations but that it never goes beyond that.

I enjoy discussing this topic, the subconscious stuff. I don't feel like I'm not relaxed, I'm actually happily married and remember the dating times (ugh) and the issues I had with dating when I felt I was ready to settle down. We've been nothing but polite and have stayed on topic, just are expressing different views. Which actually is quite nice. So thanks.

Oh and I'm assuming you are a guy Turco? So when you approach a girl, think about what it was that made you approach her. Of course there's the body language, eye contact and all that. But have you ever approached a girl, had a conversation that was fine enough, but received a vibe, an aura, that made you think, nah, I'm not going further with this one? That's what I'm talking about.

[BlueSimple]

"I'm just gonna stand by the bar....put out the vibe..." -Lloyd Christmas, Dumb and Dumber.